[anastrophe]

i've suffered 'clinical' depression most of my life, though it wasn't formally diagnosed until i was in my thirties.

since then, i've taken meds virtually continuously. from buspar to prozac to the current cocktail of wellbutrin and celexa. without the meds, i sink into a morass. with the meds, i can function, and can even be insufferably cheerful, much to the dismay of those who aren't prone to 'bubbliness'.

i long ago gave up my foolish restistance to taking meds. i still hate the idea that i have to take these pills every morning just to bring myself up to 'normal', but life without them gradually becomes intolerable - i become a lump. an immovable, unhappy, distressed, anxious, enclosed, fearful, paranoid little lump of a human being, who would eventually die of sadness.