I lay in bed early this morning and came to realise that my best friend wont be with me much longer.
She's been my best mate for all of my life and i shall miss her for the rest of mine, i settled her in hospital on Friday and sat with her for 8 hours holding her hand, just being there for her as she always has been for me.
When i left her (begrudgingly) i told her how much i loved her, and came home at 2.30am with the weight of the world on my shoulders not knowing whether i would see her again.
I was back at the hospital at 9am, she looked a little brighter, she'd had half a peice of toast for her breakfast and she was quite proud of the fact!
I watched the spark ebb during the course of the day as family poured in to visit, and by 8pm she was once again weary and no doubt wanted everybody to just bugger off and leave her alone.
She's still in the casualty admittance ward so i've yet to meet her consultant to know the prognosis, i could no doubt seek someone out to ask, but i'm scared to know the truth i guess.
What a bloody coward i am.
