[theia]

Thank you, Ted, Pheasy and Mrsk.

One of the reasons I posted this thread is that my mother is in her mid eighties and, although she doesn't appear to be physically ill to any serious extent, she has lost interest in almost everything. She seems to have withdrawn into herself. She has been prescribed anti depressants, she has been offered counselling and, as a family, we have tried to encourage and support her, to help her get through. All to no avail...but, you know, in a strange way, and when I'm not feeling too emotional over the way she is, I can see her going through a mighty transition...a transition of "letting go." It seems like a dark night of the senses for her yet, just occasionally, there's a chink of light. Her body is aged and yet, there's life, a sort of "real" life. It seems sometimes that she wants to let go to this, but, understandably, she's afraid.

My mother and I have, at times, had a difficult relationship but I can feel closer to her just now. It's as if the difficulties we had were just to do with this physical existence. I can now glimpse more of the real soul she is, and this has nothing to do with the bodies that we are. When I can see her this way, she becomes a part of the wonder and mystery that I believe is God, and all the petty differences we had between us just fade, and I feel a profound love for her.

She has been in hospital several times over the past few months and I have to admit to feeling quite hopeless on my visits to her. I look around and see a ward full of older people, all suffering either mentally or physically, and, really, no longer an integral part of this busy world. Yet, when I allow myself to change my focus or my thinking, just a little, I can almost see a ward full of beauty, a room full of souls who are moving closer to the Divine. We clearly have bodies for a reason and I'm beginning to think that maybe life in this world is to realise that this isn't who we really are.