And the cats in the cradle.....

11-30-2005, 03:50 PM

I stayed home until my first two were both in school. Then I went to work. They turned out fine. My son is an officer in the Air Force and my daughter is a Dr of Pharmacy, at a big hospital in my State. He could have gotten a job in the private sector making big money..they still contact him to find out if he's sure this is the path he wants to take and to offer him more money. The daughter had big offers from big companies and instead chose to work for less pay and worse hours in a hospital where she would have a more hands on opportunity at helping people. They are both awesome kids that I neither earned nor deserved.

My six year old has been in daycare since she was 6 weeks old and every day after school she attends aftercare until i arrive to get her after 5. She gets home and we eat and she does homework...most nights she plays video games with her dad while i work remotely or even head back to work, before heading to bed to begin the whole process over again the next day. Her dad's away this week and we've been having girls time and girls events, so that she doesn't miss him so much. She hasn't quit talking all week. It's like she knows I am committed to being there while dad's away and she's grabbing every second of it she can. She is, by far, the brightest of the three...she figures things out and although sometimes it's rather off the wall, she pretty much is dead on with her theories.

It's scary when you realise what you miss by working your ass off to provide. It's sad to think that there haven't been more afternoons when we cut up a sponge and just sat outside to paint with watercolors. It worries me that by not giving her the time she needs to be a carefree child she may decide she's entitled later. I find myself having conversations with a 'grown up' child, and all i really want for her.... is everything.

How are we supposed to balance? How are we supposed to imprint them when we aren't even around them enough for them to just be kids...

chonsigirl · 11-30-2005, 03:53 PM

Oh Floppie, you spend the most time you can with her. You cannot help that you have to work, and the time is cut short. Make the most out of the time you have with her, and both of you will feel so close. You are doing a great job!

11-30-2005, 04:24 PM

Wow ! You dont need advice from us Floppy, you're doing all the right things,obviously. You need to be teaching us how to do it. You're doing the hardest thing in the world juggling round a family and it sounds to me like you got it spot on. Your kids are a credit

Valerie100 · 11-30-2005, 04:52 PM

It's such a shame that you and your husband, Flops, can't make it one income. I firmly believe in the traditional household, with Mom at home with the kids. It's practically unheard of these days, though. Inflation and greed has destroyed the traditional family. I hate hearing stories like this.

The only thing you can do is what you're doing -- nothing more, nothing less. Life is so unfair, I swear.

nvalleyvee · 11-30-2005, 07:36 PM

A story for Flop. When my daughter was 8 years old, I was working 40 hours a week and back in school for a degree that would earn me money. We were eating cheap cuts of meat, lots of potatoes and beans, and veggies - there were no cookies or chips or sodas. One night she had been trying to get my attention when I was studying for an organic chemistry final, she finally punched me in the arm and YELLED - you're nothing but a homework eating monster MOM - I hate you. Talk about a wake up call. I decided that no matter what I did - I would make time for her - even just a couple of hours every night. Needless to say I didn't sleep much BUT I never felt guilty again. It took me an extra semester to graduate and I was even able to pay for riding lessons for her after that. My point is I realized that my life was not more important than missing her growing up. Do what you can to spend those precious moments with her. BTW - I listened to Cat's song then and got the meaning.

11-30-2005, 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nvalleyvee

A story for Flop. When my daughter was 8 years old, I was working 40 hours a week and back in school for a degree that would earn me money. We were eating cheap cuts of meat, lots of potatoes and beans, and veggies - there were no cookies or chips or sodas. One night she had been trying to get my attention when I was studying for an organic chemistry final, she finally punched me in the arm and YELLED - you're nothing but a homework eating monster MOM - I hate you. Talk about a wake up call. I decided that no matter what I did - I would make time for her - even just a couple of hours every night. Needless to say I didn't sleep much BUT I never felt guilty again. It took me an extra semester to graduate and I was even able to pay for riding lessons for her after that. My point is I realized that my life was not more important than missing her growing up. Do what you can to spend those precious moments with her. BTW - I listened to Cat's song then and got the meaning.

I know i say this everytime you share something with me, but you rock!

nvalleyvee · 11-30-2005, 08:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flopstock

I know i say this everytime you share something with me, but you rock!

It's only because we know each others heart

BTS · 11-30-2005, 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nvalleyvee

It's only because we know each others heart

Well golly gee........... I think if Flops heart is half of NV's u R Rockin too Flop.......

She is 1 heck of a gal

12-01-2005, 12:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BTS

Well golly gee........... I think if Flops heart is half of NV's u R Rockin too Flop.......

She is 1 heck of a gal

hell boy if i had half the heart your woman does i'd be one happy camper! i whine if i have to iron clothes to wear...lol

Does crack me up to imagine her settling your hash from time to time though...lmao!!

12-01-2005, 08:58 AM

Flop you may already do these things and not realize it... But capitalize on the routines, and make them important...

I'm the mirror of you, but Im the Dad. Last night I drove my son and his buddy home from their firefighter program. Its the first time Ive seen him in three days. other than to say howdy. (this is very unusual) So after I dropped off his buddy he and I went to get a milk shake... and we talked for good hour about all the things that a 15 year old wants to talk about. At the end of it we were gettign into the car and he said... "hey Dad, how out we do this again next wednesday night!" I said "sure, but next time you buy!"... so we have a new tradition so we can steal time away and visit.

Ya do the best you can with what you got. I think children can sense when they are wanted, and being wanted is far more important than actually spending time with them. (but we still need to spend as much time with them as possible.)

11-30-2005, 03:50 PM	#1 (permalink)
flopstock Guest Posts: n/a	And the cats in the cradle..... I stayed home until my first two were both in school. Then I went to work. They turned out fine. My son is an officer in the Air Force and my daughter is a Dr of Pharmacy, at a big hospital in my State. He could have gotten a job in the private sector making big money..they still contact him to find out if he's sure this is the path he wants to take and to offer him more money. The daughter had big offers from big companies and instead chose to work for less pay and worse hours in a hospital where she would have a more hands on opportunity at helping people. They are both awesome kids that I neither earned nor deserved. My six year old has been in daycare since she was 6 weeks old and every day after school she attends aftercare until i arrive to get her after 5. She gets home and we eat and she does homework...most nights she plays video games with her dad while i work remotely or even head back to work, before heading to bed to begin the whole process over again the next day. Her dad's away this week and we've been having girls time and girls events, so that she doesn't miss him so much. She hasn't quit talking all week. It's like she knows I am committed to being there while dad's away and she's grabbing every second of it she can. She is, by far, the brightest of the three...she figures things out and although sometimes it's rather off the wall, she pretty much is dead on with her theories. It's scary when you realise what you miss by working your ass off to provide. It's sad to think that there haven't been more afternoons when we cut up a sponge and just sat outside to paint with watercolors. It worries me that by not giving her the time she needs to be a carefree child she may decide she's entitled later. I find myself having conversations with a 'grown up' child, and all i really want for her.... is everything. How are we supposed to balance? How are we supposed to imprint them when we aren't even around them enough for them to just be kids...

11-30-2005, 03:53 PM	#2 (permalink)
chonsigirl I think, therefore I post Supporting Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Nirvana Posts: 28,682	Re: And the cats in the cradle..... Oh Floppie, you spend the most time you can with her. You cannot help that you have to work, and the time is cut short. Make the most out of the time you have with her, and both of you will feel so close. You are doing a great job!
Local Time: 08:10 PM Local Date: 12-01-2008

11-30-2005, 04:24 PM	#3 (permalink)
ArnoldLayne Guest Posts: n/a	Re: And the cats in the cradle..... Wow ! You dont need advice from us Floppy, you're doing all the right things,obviously. You need to be teaching us how to do it. You're doing the hardest thing in the world juggling round a family and it sounds to me like you got it spot on. Your kids are a credit

11-30-2005, 04:52 PM	#4 (permalink)
Valerie100 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 418	Re: And the cats in the cradle..... It's such a shame that you and your husband, Flops, can't make it one income. I firmly believe in the traditional household, with Mom at home with the kids. It's practically unheard of these days, though. Inflation and greed has destroyed the traditional family. I hate hearing stories like this. The only thing you can do is what you're doing -- nothing more, nothing less. Life is so unfair, I swear.
Local Time: 05:10 PM Local Date: 12-01-2008

11-30-2005, 07:36 PM	#5 (permalink)
nvalleyvee Not just a sheeple Supporting Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: NM Posts: 5,145	Re: And the cats in the cradle..... A story for Flop. When my daughter was 8 years old, I was working 40 hours a week and back in school for a degree that would earn me money. We were eating cheap cuts of meat, lots of potatoes and beans, and veggies - there were no cookies or chips or sodas. One night she had been trying to get my attention when I was studying for an organic chemistry final, she finally punched me in the arm and YELLED - you're nothing but a homework eating monster MOM - I hate you. Talk about a wake up call. I decided that no matter what I did - I would make time for her - even just a couple of hours every night. Needless to say I didn't sleep much BUT I never felt guilty again. It took me an extra semester to graduate and I was even able to pay for riding lessons for her after that. My point is I realized that my life was not more important than missing her growing up. Do what you can to spend those precious moments with her. BTW - I listened to Cat's song then and got the meaning. __________________ The growth of knowledge depends entirely on disagreement..........Karl R. Popper
Local Time: 06:10 PM Local Date: 12-01-2008

12-01-2005, 08:58 AM	#10 (permalink)
Far Rider Guest Posts: n/a	Re: And the cats in the cradle..... Flop you may already do these things and not realize it... But capitalize on the routines, and make them important... I'm the mirror of you, but Im the Dad. Last night I drove my son and his buddy home from their firefighter program. Its the first time Ive seen him in three days. other than to say howdy. (this is very unusual) So after I dropped off his buddy he and I went to get a milk shake... and we talked for good hour about all the things that a 15 year old wants to talk about. At the end of it we were gettign into the car and he said... "hey Dad, how out we do this again next wednesday night!" I said "sure, but next time you buy!"... so we have a new tradition so we can steal time away and visit. Ya do the best you can with what you got. I think children can sense when they are wanted, and being wanted is far more important than actually spending time with them. (but we still need to spend as much time with them as possible.)

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