A picture's worth a thousand words

[koan]

I keep a sort of cartoon journal that I thought I would share. I try to laugh about SOMETHING every day.

[koan]

I realise that I am domestically challenged.

[koan]

I had a deep thought one night:

If you have a really small dog, you shouldn't vacuum when you're drunk.

Another problem with small dogs: see cartoon

[koan]

My car had a duck caught in the passenger side wheel one day...that's what I told them anyway.

So I quacked it down to the dealership that recently sold it to me and asked them to kindly remove the duck. They had the nerve to tell me that not only was it not a duck, they would be removing my person from my otherwise trusty vehicle for more than one hour!!! What's a girl to do?

Fortunately, I had my humour and Monty Python to help me out. Don't think for a moment that I wouldn't actually prance down Main St. on my invisible horse.

[koan]

I missed a day so I'm posting three cartoons today.

My house is somewhat ruled by my pets. They have an odd relationship with each other and the world around them. The cat is the boss and chooses to let the others live. The dog likes to think that she could beat the cat up if she had the chance and has declared herself the protector of the hamster, who is too busy running endlessly in her wheel to ever notice. The cat decided to make her point one day by sitting beside the hamster cage and placing her large whiskers as close to the wheel as possible. The hamster must not be too bright as she ran furiously around in circles instead of retreating from the wheel. I imagine it was the stupidity of the hamster that called upon the cat's mercy. The dog spends most of her time standing over the heat register to warm her belly and carting around the most pathetic Damie sized teddy bear I've been able to find for her. So these are my pets and I love them all.

[koan]

Never was good at keeping a journal on a daily basis.

Happy to say I am up and about. My sciatica has dulled to a random twinge and I'm excited to get up on some scaffolding again. I used to be terrified of heights. Wait, I still am!!!! Oh, my aching back.

Actually, I am slowly gaining confidence in the air. I'm not one to nurture a fear, I like to look it in the face and scream. Funny thing is, the guys don't laugh at me...they think it is "cute". What I think is funny is when I'm carrying something and they offer to help. Because I am wiry, they assume the load is not as heavy as it is and often have to double grab stuff when I hand it to them. Yeah, I let them help me out, I'm on contract. The faster I get it done the more money I make. I may be independent but I'm not stupid.

[koan]

For some reason I keep asking myself eternal questions lately. Guess it's time to call the psychic drywaller. Serious. That's what I'm going to do when I finish typing this.

It's nice to think that I am an important person here on Earth. That there is some big thing that I'm meant to accomplish or contribute to. But if there is not...I sure am having fun. Guess that's all that matters. Laugh at yourself and play nice.

[koan]

Okay, here's the scoop.
Apparently I am going to be "taken" by aliens when I am about 47. I promise to you all that I will take copious notes and report back as to what the hell they are doing here.

Also, I had a life with Moses. I am going to meditate tonight and maybe tell you all what REALLY happened at the burning bush in the morning.

Sad thing is...I half believe him.

[koan]

Well, it's been a crazy week. One friend lost his uncle and father in the same week. Another friend (much younger) got commited to the mental hospital by her parents and I have to get her out. Looks like I'll have another daughter for a while. Another friend (my ex boyfriend) lost his mind, went drunk driving and nearly killed himself. Thankfully didn't kill anyone else. He is now depressed at home until I bring him a Christmas tree. Another friend tore a muscle in his back. I hit my finger with a hammer tacker and might lose my nail. Not bad for what everyone else is going through.

On the funny side, I had to set a ladder for scaffolding today and my fear of heights kicked in. My knees were shaking, in fact my whole body was vibrating, as I tried to climb the stupid thing to strap it down. Don't know how I made it through without peeing myself. Had a good laugh over lunch though.

Now I'm having a glass of cider and thinking about how much I like my hat.

[koan]

Yesterday. Worked in the pouring rain with a great big rain coat and rain hat and my tool belt under the coat (kind of like the cartoon Carol Burnette with the giant butt). As it turned out I had to work on a side of the house that had no solid ground. 2x4s and rebar everywhere and me walking on the beams and jumping from form to form while spreading 35 lb rolls of paper on the walls, it felt like the Circue de Soliel.

My ex showed up to help me a couple of days ago...there is a sudden rush on the job, and sure enough he broke stuff. They wanted to see a big guy helping me out because, apparently, they think large people are faster workers. As it is, things take longer because he doesn't do them right the first time. And he always breaks something every day. Funny how perception is. You can really tell when the people in charge know how to do the job themselves and when they are just money men with no clue what they are looking at. Apparently they now think I have a little guy helping me out when I do not but they are happy and I keep putting stuff up on the walls at the same speed. Maybe I'll make a few puppet workers and plant them all around the house in various positions. Then they will be ecstatic and get off my case. Yes, a woman did all this by herself. What's wrong with that?