Divorce

[koan]

Should it be harder to get a divorce or harder to get a marriage licence?

Many people,myself included, get married because of pregnancy then end up with problems because the marriage was not strong. Should they stay together for the kids? Should they have gotten married because of the kids?

[persephone]

Not sure about which should be harder.

My parents have just divorced this year after 32 years of marriage, they got married after the traditional manner, I was born 5 years later.
Looking back I'm not sure what would've been worse. For the past 15 years I have been very much aware of their relationship problems, yet it's still hit me hard that they have finally divorced. There wasn't even a seperation, they have both been living in the same house until recently due to selling it.

If they had divorced while I was a child at least I wouldn't have had to grow up in a battle zone, even though I would still be feeling torn between them.

I really don't think there is an answer where children are involved, it's just more people to get hurt.

[KlatunIckto]

uhh whens the divorce final Koan?

[Peg]

With today's divorce rate, it definately should be harder to get married than to get divorced.
I believe in this day and age, pregnancy is not a reason to marry. The child is better off growing up with their parents separated, than growing up in a battle ground. I had a friend whose parents obviously and openly hated each other. The kids all said they wish they had divorced instead of having to listen to the constant arguements.

[koan]

I had the child's experience in mind when I started this and so far it is confirmed. I think that the children's needs are often ill served when two people make themselves miserable by staying together. As long as the attempt to love each other is there, the children may benefit but my ex and I are much more supportive of each other now that we live apart. I think the child in divorce wonders if the parents can stop loving them if they stopped loving each other, but if they stay together, the child grows up not knowing what love is. (Like I've ever figured that out)

I haven't met anyone who has successfully stayed together "for the kids".

How could marriage be made more difficult to obtain? What would be a good guidebook for people to know if they are ready to be married?

KlatunIckto,
Write me a poem about why I should tell you.

[greydeadhead]

well.. staying together for the kids sake just makes no sense. Children are much mor observant than adults give the credit for. In my case, I have always reinforced that my daugher had nothing whatsoever to do with her Mom and I splitting up. I tried to explain once she got older that sometimes we make big mistakes growing up.. and that we have to pay for those mistakes. As far as a pre-marriage course or manual or whatever to lower the divorce rate.. I don't know if that is a realistic goal. Each situation is different and trying to correct or cure all of them would be near impossible..

[persephone]

My father thinks that the only reason my mother married him was to have me, he has blamed me (and told me to my face) for being the cause of their failed marriage.

I still love him though, what ever he throws at me I just throw back at him, it's the main problem he has with me... Mum always took it, until I became a teenager and wouldn't. So I guess he sees it that she learnt off me to be a disobedient wife.

Anyone in their right mind could see they just should never have married in the first place.

[koan]

I'm sure this is an old one, but it won't leave my head.

Have you seen the Divorcee Barbie? She comes with half of all Ken's stuff.

I'm the nice Barbie, I guess. I gave him half of all my stuff. Maybe the Stupid Barbie...?

[Bill Sikes]

Originally Posted by koan

[color=Indigo]Have you seen the Divorcee Barbie? She comes with half of all Ken's stuff.

Why is a woman like a typhoon?

[Suresh Gupta]

If I tell all about messages under this topic to my wife and other family members they will not believe me.