Gender specific definitions

[Marie5656]

Gender-specific Definitions:

Thingy (thing-ee) n.
Female: Any part under a car's hood.
Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

Vulnerable (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male: Playing football without a helmet.

Communication (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the boys.

Butt (but) n.
Female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes "look bigger."
Male: What you slap when someone's scored a touchdown, homerun, or goal.

Commitment (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.

Entertainment (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male: Anything that can be done while drinking.

Flatulence (flach-u-lens) n.
Female: An embarrassing by-product of digestion.
Male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.

Remote control (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every three minutes.

Making love (may-king luv) n.
Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male: Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.


Miscellaneous Definitions:

SECRET: - Something you tell to one person at a time.

BORE: - A person with nothing to say and says it.

COMMITTEE: - A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DIPLOMACY: - Letting them have it your way

DUST: - Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EASY: a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.

ADULT: - A person who avidly watches MTV programming, but with the sound off.

ANTONYM: - The opposite of the word you're trying to think of.

EGOTIST: - Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

EXPERIENCE: - What you get when you didn't get what you wanted.

FLASHLIGHT: - A case in which to hold dead batteries.

HANDKERCHIEF: - Cold Storage

SWIMMING POOL: - a mob of people with water in it.

IGNORANCE: - When you don't know something and someone finds out.

BUFFET: A French word that means "Get up and get it yourself."

BABY-SITTER: A teen-ager who must behave like an adult so that
the adults who are out can behave like teen-agers.

INTERESTING: a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.

JUNK:- Something you need the day after you throw it away.

LOTTERY: - A tax on people who are bad at math.

LOVE AT 1st SIGHT: what occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.

NYMPHOMANIAC: a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does.

OPTIMIST:- Someone who tells you to cheer up when things are going his way.

PESSIMIST: - An optimist with experience.

SHIN: - A sensor for finding furniture in the dark.

SKELETON: - A bunch of bones with the people scraped off.

TORNADOES: - God's answer to trailer parks.

YAWN: - An honest opinion openly expressed.