Living with Depression

[MiwSher]

I hope having this sub-forum will encourage people to exchange information and encourage others. I was diagnosed with clinical depression several years ago. It's been a recurring struggle since but I have found that with support from others who have gone/are going through similar things, it is much easier to live with depression, not merely exist. I also hope we can help friends and family members of people with depression and other mental illnesses.

MiwSher

[koan]

My exhusband suffers from clinical depression, as well as a few of my friends. A couple of other friends have bipolar disorders. It is very difficult and the medications only decrease the occurence and, sometimes, severity. I wish there was more information on living with people who suffer from depression so the support system could be better.

This seems to be more and more common.

My ex had to take six months off on Worker's Comp because he was having trouble functioning at work. He is pretty determined to beat it someday. It helps when he is busy and doing new things.

[anastrophe]

i've suffered 'clinical' depression most of my life, though it wasn't formally diagnosed until i was in my thirties.

since then, i've taken meds virtually continuously. from buspar to prozac to the current cocktail of wellbutrin and celexa. without the meds, i sink into a morass. with the meds, i can function, and can even be insufferably cheerful, much to the dismay of those who aren't prone to 'bubbliness'.

i long ago gave up my foolish restistance to taking meds. i still hate the idea that i have to take these pills every morning just to bring myself up to 'normal', but life without them gradually becomes intolerable - i become a lump. an immovable, unhappy, distressed, anxious, enclosed, fearful, paranoid little lump of a human being, who would eventually die of sadness.

[MiwSher]

There is quite a lot of good information on the 'Net about depression and related disorders. I need to look up some sites again, as my puter died and I lost all my links but when I get some bookmarked I'll post them. But you're right, koan, there should be much more for loved ones of people with depression. Personally, I don't know how some of my family and/or friends have put up with me in the darker times. Actually, I was recently diagnosed with PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) and my depression is part and parcel of that. Yes, it does help to keep busy. Unfortunately, people with depression have little or no interest in actually doing things outside of what it takes to minimally function in their life. Of course it varies with each person how much or how little they can actually do. And trying something new is even more difficult.

MiwSher

[MiwSher]

Originally Posted by anastrophe

i've suffered 'clinical' depression most of my life, though it wasn't formally diagnosed until i was in my thirties.

Same here. I hope that doctors now realize that kids can get serious depression as well as teens and adults.

Originally Posted by anastrophe

since then, i've taken meds virtually continuously. from buspar to prozac to the current cocktail of wellbutrin and celexa. without the meds, i sink into a morass. with the meds, i can function, and can even be insufferably cheerful, much to the dismay of those who aren't prone to 'bubbliness'.

I've been fairly lucky. I started with Prozac and that's all I was taking (though at a higher dose now) until recently when my doctor added Remeron. I also take Ativan but only when in full panic.

Originally Posted by anastrophe

i long ago gave up my foolish restistance to taking meds. i still hate the idea that i have to take these pills every morning just to bring myself up to 'normal', but life without them gradually becomes intolerable - i become a lump. an immovable, unhappy, distressed, anxious, enclosed, fearful, paranoid little lump of a human being, who would eventually die of sadness.

That's a trap we tend to fall into. We take our meds, feel better then figure we can stop the meds because we feel better. It's a very vicious circle, isn't it? I confess I've fallen into that trap myself and then wonder if I will ever learn to avoid it.

As for "normal," imho "normal" is a concept invented by very dull people.

MiwSher

[persephone]

That's a trap we tend to fall into. We take our meds, feel better then figure we can stop the meds because we feel better. It's a very vicious circle, isn't it? I confess I've fallen into that trap myself and then wonder if I will ever learn to avoid it.

I work in mental health part time, this is what most patients come in for, we unfortunetly call it "non-complience", most of us realise what MiwSher says is what happens.

[Suresh Gupta]

I feel that one need not live with depression. One has to face it and conquer it. One can do it with medicines and/or good conselling. One can also do it developing a positive attitude towards life.

My religion, Hinduism, teaches me that human beings are a menifestation of God. What we call death is a process of re-manifestation of soul in another physical body. Every moment we are facing different situations. These situations come to us because of our karma (action) in previous births. This is called Parmartha. We have no control over them. These situations will come whether we like them or not. But we can certainly exploit them in our favour. This is called Purushartha. What we need is a positive attutude towards life, faith in the Supreme Being, these situations, people around us and any factor which affects our life.

In most of the cases when a situation comes before us which we feel is bad then we get nervous and surrender before it. The situation then overtakes us. We should never give up. We should feel that coming of this situation is pre-determined. Through this situation God has given us an opportunity to raise ourselves and prove that we are worthy of His love and care. We should then analyze the situation with a positive attitude. Think what needs to be done so that the situation does not overpower us and converts itself in a favourable situation. God is always on your side. You do thisand rest will be taken care of by Him.

Another point. Don't sit idle even for a moment. If you have no work to do and no friends around, then read a good story book. If you don't find interest in the book then pray to God. Read Bible or Gita or Quran whichever Holy book your religion has. Read it loudly as though some others are listening. Do it and see the effect.

Another point. Don't think about those instances in your life which give you pain. Think about those which are enjoyable. If bad thoughts keep coming chant the name of God loudly. Try it and bad thoughts will run away.

Treat the depression as a situation sent to you by God based on your previous actions. Face it with a positive attitude and overpower the depression. Good Luck. I will pray for you.

[Bill Sikes]

You are walking through a beautiful landscape, perhaps in a wide valley. There are flowers. It is a beautiful sunny day. At least, it ought to be beautiful. It isn't, it's just ordinary. Dreary, even. Nothing in it appeals to you, or matters. You're aware that it should, but it doesn't. There's no-one about, and no animals. In various features such as trees in the distance, and clouds, you can sometimes see the features of people you know, or rather, knew. It's all different. Weird. You just plod on. There are slight ripples in the green grass under your feet. You wonder why. Looking down, you realise that the ground that you're walking on isn't solid at all - there's some sort of thin clear membrane, like plastic, on which the grass grows. Every step of the way, your shoe indents it a little. Under the membrane is a deep sea of stinking black sh1t. It is absolutely repulsive. As you walk, you know that if you tread too heavily, you will break the membrane, and go in over your head. That is a frightening thought. You do not know what to do. You are hot. You are cold. There's nothing you can do.

Just don't do *that*. Just *don't*, there's no need, and it won't help. Think about something else. Keep yourself out of harms way.

If you have any things which you might *use*, then get rid of them, or at least put them where it is difficult to get to them and you can't get them quickly.

If you drive, take care. Think how your actions might affect other people. If you did *that*, then they'd be horrified, and hurt. You wouldn't want that.

Work. Work hard at whatever you do. That may take your mind off it, a bit. It may help.

Exercise. Take plenty of exercise outside. Walk. Run. It will help.

Don't cut yourself. If you feel the need, try hitting, instead. You could use a piece of board, or batten. That will do the job well. It won't leave scars, which you will regret later.

It will all go away, one day. You won't have it for ever. When it does go, which it will, you may be changed a little. Fine. Different, but still there. OK. It may go away tomorrow, but this is unlikely. Maybe next month, or in half a year. Maybe a year or two, possibly more... but it *will* go.

Take advice from your doctor. If you can't face that, go to your health food shop, and buy St. John's Wort. Really! Take it every day, or twice a day. Don't forget. Keep a record so that you don't forget, for it is very easy to do so. The effect will be to thicken the membrane upon which you walk as you travel through the landscape. This will be extremely helpful on your travels.

When you get to where you are going, and have crossed the sea of sh1t, you will know it. You will be back on firm ground. You may well see others, following parallel paths to you. There is a lot of it about.

[koan]

Suresh,

Your intentions are very good but there is an error in your writing that I wonder if you realize. In clinical depression there is not "situation" that sets it off. That is why it is separated from regular depression. For no good reason, all of a sudden, the vigor and appreciation of beauty and all else is gone.

My ex would realize that his own daughter was driving him nuts for no good reason. Everything she did or said was aggrevating. She was three. It was like walking on eggshells and we never knew when it was going to happen. Nothing we did set it off. Nothing at work was causing stress or pressure. It just happens. If there was a cause it would be easier to deal with.

I decided to continue living as if nothing was wrong and told him he could join us when he was ready. It was the only way to prevent my daughter from being negatively affected. Our relationship didn't survive but it was not on a strong enough foundation.

I am quietly watching my daughter for signs of depression but it is hard to know if it is hormonal or chemical. One of the problems is that when he is depressed, if she spends time with him, she wants so badly to make him laugh and make him happy and she takes it very personally when she can not do this. I've asked him to let me keep her with me on the weekends when he is not feeling well and make up the time later but seeing her does make him feel a little better so he tends not to tell me.

[Suresh Gupta]

Originally Posted by koan

Suresh,

Your intentions are very good but there is an error in your writing that I wonder if you realize. In clinical depression there is not "situation" that sets it off. That is why it is separated from regular depression. For no good reason, all of a sudden, the vigor and appreciation of beauty and all else is gone.

My ex would realize that his own daughter was driving him nuts for no good reason. Everything she did or said was aggrevating. She was three. It was like walking on eggshells and we never knew when it was going to happen. Nothing we did set it off. Nothing at work was causing stress or pressure. It just happens. If there was a cause it would be easier to deal with.

I decided to continue living as if nothing was wrong and told him he could join us when he was ready. It was the only way to prevent my daughter from being negatively affected. Our relationship didn't survive but it was not on a strong enough foundation.

I am quietly watching my daughter for signs of depression but it is hard to know if it is hormonal or chemical. One of the problems is that when he is depressed, if she spends time with him, she wants so badly to make him laugh and make him happy and she takes it very personally when she can not do this. I've asked him to let me keep her with me on the weekends when he is not feeling well and make up the time later but seeing her does make him feel a little better so he tends not to tell me.

There can not be an effect without the cause. There must be some cause (some trigger) which we are not able to identify. All these clinical and regular depression are medical words. Medical science has to come out with some logical arguments and when it is not able to do so it says the reason is not identifiable. It is now a fact that medical science has only treatment for an ailment and not cure.

I understand that it is a difficult situation. But what I was telling is a matter of faith. One should have full faith and only then positive results will come. It requires lot of meditation and belief in oneself. And not only oneself but all the people around him should have that faith.

When everything tangible fails then one is only left with intangible ways. I have seen senior doctors saying that they have done everything possible and now only He can help it. Go and pray. But again it is not that every person will get success. But one has to try.