New improved positive thoughts

I've gone through a really weird patch in my life lately, and I've dealt with it by whinging my head off in my last journal.
I've decided that I've had more than enough of being a whiny bag, so I'm going to take a more positive way around things.

For starters, I'm going to kick myself off of here more.
At present, my life lacks any excitement, adventure or romance, and I need those to be happy. I'm certainly not going to find any of them attached to my PC all the time, so I'm going to boot myself out of the house a bit more and start creating my own bit of adventure...
Nothing will change unless I actively make it change, so that's what I'm going to do.

The subject of kids and parents has arisen again, always a hard one for me to deal with. I see so many kids every day in need of a loving home. Their parents should thank god that they have healthy kids and do their best by them, but so mant don't seem to care. They don't realise how lucky they are.
I doubt I'll ever have children, though I would dearly love them.
I've come to terms withthis, and I'm ok with it...it just really annoys me when people take such a precious gift for granted.

Mmm...don't quite know what to do about this one, as it's never happened to me before. Just lately a lot of my friends don't like each other too much.

I like all of them and value all of them, trouble is, I'm getting really worried about agreeing with any of them on any subject in case some of the others take it as an aside and vice-versa...

I didn't think it would be a problem as long as I stay out of the middle and not get involved...not so easy to do!
When I know know things that other people haven't been filled in on about a situation, all I want to do is set the record straight...I can't do this as it will just appear to be point scoring, or putting the other side down, which of course I don't want to do, it would make people feel bad.

So, the best thing for me to do is stay away and keep my mouth shut, that way hopefully I'll get to keep all my friends.

Bloody bloody bloody heeeeeeeellllllllll!!!!!!!!
Agh! I am so cheesed off right now!
The other half comes in late saying we've had a humungous council tax bill - I thought he'd been paying it as All the money now goes into his account, and apparently he thought I'd been paying it. On top of that, NPower have sent us a bill for £350 because they'd only been billing us estimates, so we have to cough up extra now
Well, he's just phucked off out in a total snot - and I mean TOTAL snot!
So, I sign in on his PC, and his messenger signed in automatically....some bird called 'Cutie' starts saying Hi Babe to me
So I reply 'Wow, you're good, that's what Si calls me too! Sorry, he's not in at the mo'

So, I'm going to bugger off out now as I'm well and truly in a stonker myself.
So much for my positive thoughts huh?

I've had such a fantastic evening tonight, rambling around with a new group of people doing the old ghosthunting thing; it was just what I needed!
So, I get in, tired but happy, and thought I'd share it here, only to find everyone at each other's throats again.

I've been pretty impartial and calm lately by my standards...I haven't gone into one or thrown a wobbly at anyone for a while, which I'm quite proud of.
However, I'm now on a total downer again due to something being broadcast about me that I confided in someone. So much for me making an effort huh?

I've let people here in far more than I do in RL because I've found so much warmth and understanding here in the past. It just makes me wonder how genuine any of it really is, if someone cares so little for you that they can do that to me. Again, it's another case of me being gullible enough to think people actually care

I say what I genuinely mean...what you see is what you get, no bull mixed in.
I just expect everyone else to be the same and tend to get disillusioned when that's not the case. I care a great deal for my friends, online and RL. Maybe I'm too soft; trust and get attached too easily. That's me though - yes I have a hell of a temper at times, but equally I have the capacity to genuinely care, love and empathise too, so it really hurts me when it becomes obvious that some of the people you're so fond of don't care how you feel...

All this stuff that's kicked off about private groups is really starting to turn itself in on whoever mailed out those posts.
One of the people who recieved one has just told me that it was sent anonymously...she couldn't reply to it, and luckily enough figured out that it was sent purely to stir up crap. I suspect the content has even been changed.
Hidden agenda? I THINK SO.

If whoever the brave little phucker is was so concerned about people's feelings then why not be open about it? Why the secrecy?
I think it's because They want some of us just to sod off into the sunset for whatever reason.

I was a member of that group, and there were a few people that didn't bitch, and it's not fair that they're tarred with the same brush. I said what I though about two people. That's it. It doesn't make it right, and I'm sorry for any hurt feelings, though I was getting stuff out so I didn't bring it the boards and bitch there...which is worse?

Sorry, but whoever is trying to land all of us in the crap, think about the nice people in that group who never said anything bad, and yes there are some.
I won't post there again, because I'm not going to give anyone the chance to change my posts and send them anonymously to anyone in the hope of making me leave.

Please believe me when I say FAT F'ING CHANCE.
I own up and admit to stuff I do - you can't say as much can you? No, because you're nothing but a coward and a loser.

You have a problem with me? Get in touch. I'll gladly give you my phone number / address if you want to sort it out properly. At least then I could respect you for being upfront.

No-one going to argue with me? Well, Either that shows that I'm right or someone doesn't feel able to argue...looking forward to it pal. Bring in on!
I'm not a yellow ******* like you. Do your worst.

I'm really worried about my best mate - she's been seeing this married bloke for the last year and a half, and their arrangement has been working ok for them so far, well, until he applied for a and got a job at the same school. She was a bit upset the other day, as it all seems to be getting a bit too much from his end...I said that moments like that were bound to happen, and she should just see how it goes. Anyway, this afternoon we had to run around covering her classes because she vanished - just went home.
I can't get hold of her despite leaving messages all over the place, so I think I might have to go round tonight to see if she's alright and possibly pick up the pieces. I'm just dreading hearing that the poo's hit the fan - what can I say? He's not about to leave anytime soon and she knows it. Trouble is, she's totally nutso over him. She's my mate and I'll stick by her no matter what desicions she makes but I'm so fed up of watching her get stomped on.

GAH!!!! Why oh why oh why do people always like my mates more than me?
Is it because I'm not feminine enough? God knows I flirt for ten dozen...is it because I'm a brunette and they're all blonde? That's rather superficial, huh? Well, could be it I guess! I talk way more than them , thouh they're the ones that get asked to dance.
I've noticed a common theme. I've always asked all my partners out....dance and personal. None have refused, so that's good, but it just makes me a bit paranoid as to why no-one has ever chased me...
Is it that I'm too confident maybe? Do I seem unapproachable?
Jeez, this is really starting to worry me! Why does everyone prefer my friends over me?
Practical answers please, not just 'you're a minger'