Include Forgiveness In Your New Year

[Wednesday's Child]

As we consider what the new year 2005 will hold for us, I wanted to plop this message in to perhaps enhance our experience of refreshing ourselves with a new start to a new year.

Studies and research have shown that living in forgiveness is essential for both health and happiness.

There is much more to forvigeness than just forgiving....forgiveness significantly reduces the harmful, deadly effects of every day stress, resentment, bitterness, anger and aggressiveness.

Forgiveness can lead to greater feelings of optimism, hope, compassion and self-confidence.

Forgiveness can open the way for a life of inner peace and harmony. It can restore in us the power of hope, courage and resonsibility.

So, why not reflect on what has been hurtful to us in the past year: those who have said or done things which hurt, or people who have taken us for granted, or worse, forgotten us and ignore the concept that we would like to hear from them on occasion.

Those who expect more from us than we can from them: the takers who always seem to have the advantage of our time, our money, our "things" and never seem to understand that a "thank you" would be appreciated.

Hurt and anger simmer away taking all the good out of life - our life - which we should be able to enjoy to its fullest.

I suggest we bundle all that negative up and throw it away into a trash bin where it belongs, forgive the offenders as best we can, and start the year with
new hopes and optimism, determined to enjoy our time and expect the best of the year 2005.

WC,

I agree with you 100%! Life can be short, you should not live in anger.

[koan]

This is a very positive message. Not to take away from that but to help people who have much to forgive...

I had trouble with the concept of forgiveness for a long time and I finally found out why. It is hard to forgive people that will not acknowledge that what they have done is wrong. To surmount this difficulty, it is essential to realize that people do what they are capable of at the time. They may not be capable of reaching the level of morality or "goodness" that I or most other people would consider to be reasonable but, sadly, that is all they are capable of. You must forgive people for being human and, sometimes, less than human because we are all flawed. At the same time, you do not have to continue letting them harm you. You can take the power of association because that is your choice...even if they are family. But you can still forgive them and it does set you free.

I hope everyone has a productive and peaceful new year.

[Wednesday's Child]

A personal experience if that is ok....

For two years I have had an enemy on the internet forum world - we initially disagreed on a series of posts two years ago, and while I tried to ignore the poster, it escalated into really angry commentary on both sides. When I moved
to another forum, I was followed and accused of "hiding under another name"...when I was actually trying to rid myself of the discomfort of feeling my stomach cramping every time I ran into the poster I disliked and who disliked me.

On a completely different forum (my third) just last month, the poster I am writing about arrived, knowing I was also a member, but was keeping a distance from my commentary and even offering a PM stating I wasn't being "followed", that the poster just wanted to try out the new forum.

One morning I opened up the forum and there were a series of posts jumping all over the new poster and for a moment I enjoyed a nasty feeling of Shadenfreude
seeing all the insults and cruelty directed at my "enemy".... but then when I read the intent of the group creating a herd mentality against this person, I don't know why, I began to come to the poster's defense and added my own argument which coincided with the original poster's.... in fact after two years we were agreeing on an important matter to both of us while being attacked by others.

We had a quiet PM exchange of laughing and "who knew"....discussing that it was an event we never could have believed would happen. Two notorious enemies debating on the same side.

Now when I see that poster, my stomach doesn't clench up.... I realized that while we differed on some subjects, there is always something else one can find to agree on....

I don't know if it fits into "forgiveness" but it certainly cleared the way for me to have an enjoyable end to this year, knowing I no longer carried the fear and resentment built into two years of avoiding the unfinished and perhaps imagined
dislike.

If someone told you that for the next two years you were going to have to carry a 25 pound weight on your back, causing great internal pain.... and you accepted it.... you have to ask yourself why?

When dumping that weight of anger is so refreshing and a great start to another year.

[Suresh Gupta]

Dear WC,

I will like to take it further. Forgiveness should not only be included in New Year resolution, it should be made an integral part of the thought process. It is never easy to forgive but if you are able to forgive someone then it means that you have created a strength in your personality. Your personal experience is certainly helpful in understanding the usefulness of forgiveness. Thanks for starting such a nice topic for discussion.

I fully agree with Koan that forgiveness sets us free.

[Paula]

Forgiveness will return more to you, than the ones that hurt you? To Forgive is TO LET GO, its okay to say GOODBYE to PAIN! Once you let go, you are stronger. Forgiveness is a skill, an art, it could save your life from misery. Once accomplished you are less vunerable to people that want to harm you...i mean it too. Just say NO! Believe Me...