Addictive Personalities

[cinamin]

I've heard of the term "addictive personality" and my x-husband had addictions he could never overcome. He'd get addicted to everything. Not just drugs either. He'd go overboard with everything. I recently left a man who was a recovered addict and x-drug abuser. But he literally replaced his drug addiction with others such as gambling and even admitted to being a sex addict. What is that about?

I cannot even relate to even being an addict. The closest i came to being addicted to a drug was Vicodin when I dislocated an elbow. That was a good buzz. But I stopped, even when I could use it. And I could then see how a person could like to be on a drug all the time, as it clouded my reality. And I felt fuzzy.

I guess what i am asking is why and how would a person want to stay addicted to things that control you and alter your quality of life? Is it that their lives are so bad anyway that the addiction is better? And so people hide their addictions from those closest to them? What is this addiction thing really about? Is it all so complicated? It seems like one should just be able to stop.

[guppy]

its a personality disorder ...plain and simple...its just a part of their makeup

[cinamin]

Originally Posted by guppy

its a personality disorder ...plain and simple...its just a part of their makeup

IS it due to their past? Or their brains, or their genes?

[Mystery]

Originally Posted by cinamin

I've heard of the term "addictive personality" and my x-husband had addictions he could never overcome. He'd get addicted to everything. Not just drugs either. He'd go overboard with everything. I recently left a man who was a recovered addict and x-drug abuser. But he literally replaced his drug addiction with others such as gambling and even admitted to being a sex addict. What is that about?

The term addictive personality is sort of redundent, because addiction itself is, in a way, a personality. One who is addicted to one substance has the predisposition to be addicted to anything. What you're speaking of above is switching addictions. That's, just as you described, when an addict finds another "outlet", if you will.

I cannot even relate to even being an addict. The closest i came to being addicted to a drug was Vicodin when I dislocated an elbow. That was a good buzz. But I stopped, even when I could use it. And I could then see how a person could like to be on a drug all the time, as it clouded my reality. And I felt fuzzy.

Addicts can't just stop. That's why they're addicts. It's not a personal decision or a choice, as you would think of.

I guess what i am asking is why and how would a person want to stay addicted to things that control you and alter your quality of life? Is it that their lives are so bad anyway that the addiction is better? And so people hide their addictions from those closest to them? What is this addiction thing really about? Is it all so complicated? It seems like one should just be able to stop.

It's not that the person wants to stay addicted. In many cases, the knowledge that they are addicted doesn't exist. Denial is extremely powerful. Added to that, it's difficult (speaking as an addict here) to put two and two together. My life wasn't bad at all, until my addiction progressed to a point where it became that way. I had terrific parents, a great family, etc. It was me that was different. Addiction affects your thinking, your livign, your everything. It's not just use of a substance. In fact, the substance used is just a symptom of the actual problem. For me, personally, I hid my addiction because deep down on some other level, I felt shame. But, no matter what, I still couldn't overcome that impulsive and compulsive behavior, and the obsession with getting just one more hit. Addiction is a disease, just like diabetes, or heart disease. It's a chronic and progressive illness that leads to death if left untreated.

[Nomad]

Addicts can't just stop. That's why they're addicts. It's not a personal decision or a choice, as you would think of.


Oh ?

[Mystery]

No, it's a compulsion...an obsession. "as you would think of" being the operative phrase. Once the line of dependence is crossed, it becomes a using to live situation rather than a recreational activity. Now, once they're made aware of the problem, and then offered an alternative and a solution, some may make the choice to go back to it, but that's part of the obsession as well. It's a vicious cycle, as I'm sure you're aware.

[cinamin]

Thanks, that has given me some insight.

[sharedfastlane]

Mystery that's interesting.

Since, I think around 16 my husband has been dependent on chemicals and I always thought it was something he needed healing from. His childhood was pretty ropey, given away as a baby because in that era an unwed mum was shunned, but taken back a week later. His adopting Father was closed off emotionally and later drank heavily and beat his Mum ...so cutting a long story....he despises counselling and said at around 17 a counsellor tried to touch him inappropriately so his Mother had to terminate the sessions.We have had some right royal rows and I have hated being lied to. In a way now he has to take so many drugs for a heart condition and rest up so the matter has rather petered out. I suppose there isn't one way that works for everyone is there? And as you say some folk are in denial. Should I watch out for anything with our children?Can you recommend anything I can read look up online please?

[Mystery]

Originally Posted by sharedfastlane

Mystery that's interesting.

Since, I think around 16 my husband has been dependent on chemicals and I always thought it was something he needed healing from. His childhood was pretty ropey, given away as a baby because in that era an unwed mum was shunned, but taken back a week later. His adopting Father was closed off emotionally and later drank heavily and beat his Mum ...so cutting a long story....he despises counselling and said at around 17 a counsellor tried to touch him inappropriately so his Mother had to terminate the sessions.We have had some right royal rows and I have hated being lied to. In a way now he has to take so many drugs for a heart condition and rest up so the matter has rather petered out. I suppose there isn't one way that works for everyone is there? And as you say some folk are in denial. Should I watch out for anything with our children?Can you recommend anything I can read look up online please?

Well, I hate to hear that with his experience in a counseling setting. Unfortunately, not all counselors are ethical, and when a patient is exposed to that, it typically ruins their trust of the entire profession.

And, you're absolutely right. No one way will ever work for everyone, hence the reason we have tailored treatment (meaning we tailor each plan to each individual). I will say that AA/NA and other such programs do seem to have the most success, although those are not for everyone.

Anyway, as far as your children. It is said that children of alcoholics/addicts have a 1 in 4 chance of becoming alcoholic themselves. Basically, they're predisposed to the illness, but that doesn't mean they will fall prey to it at all. Education and prevention are key. You should check out the Hazeldon website at http://www.hazelden.org/ . They have loads of information that you can order. Other sites that just provide good information are following:

http://www.recovery.org/acoa/acoa.html

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

http://www.allaboutcounseling.com/

[sharedfastlane]

Thanks Mystery. Really appreciate the info. I'll get moving on that.