Pearents with learning dificulties, social services and forced adoption

[Aura]

Many parents, who have learning disabilities, are being labelled by social services as ‘unfit to parent’. The child is removed and placed with foster carer’s, and the parents are expected to get legal aid which is very upsetting and confusing. Many parents with learning difficulties will be treated a lot harsher by the system, then parents who don’t have learning problems. The child is then put under a care order, and adopted by another family within the year. Social services do not require the parent’s signature, as this is usually done through the courts.

Society says that is you have a learning difficulty then you cannot be a parent. Often their dignity is taken away by social services and the legal system, just because the parents asked for help.

I want to campaign for parents with learning difficulties to get the help they so deserve, parents with learning problems have a right to parent with the right sort of support without being made to feel guilty that they’re doing it wrong; and seen as ‘a problem’. Many parents in this situation are too frightened to ask for help, lest their child is removed. The government have no idea how many parents are in doctor’s records who are registered as having ‘learning difficulties’, we aim to change this.

I will be setting up a campaign and support group called ‘Parenting without Prejudice’, where we can help find information and guidance for parents which other organisations haven’t let on about.

If you would like to join, please e-mail me on toppuk@yahoo.co.uk for more information. The more people we have, the more change we have of influencing the government that the law needs to be changed to help parents alike.

Please check out sites such as:

http://www.changepeople.co.uk/
http://www.jrf.org.uk/knowledge/find...re/scr7108.asp
http://www.shef.ac.uk/socst/staff/st.../childpro.html
http://www.disabledparentsnetwork.or...tml?1103730847
http://www.leighday.co.uk/doc.asp?cat=893&doc=353

[Florrie]

Aura
I read your account of your little boy being taken away. Tis indeed very very sad.

I am aware that Child Protection guidlines say CHILDREN MUST BE FIRST PRIORITY

Perhaps in cases of 'concern' where parents have a cognitive/learning disability it may be helpful to have a family support worker in the home. As the guidlines also state 'Families should be helped to stay together.

I was intreged by your comments re- babys age and feeding. You say:
"He was 11 months old".
"I did not know how to make up a feed"
"He was breastfed"

I hope you won't mind me asking. How long did you breastfeed before you introduced solids? Why was he still on 'bottles' at 11 months of age.
What was his birth weight and his weight when they took him away.

[Aura]

Dear Florrie.

Thanks for your message. I know children must be first priority which is good, but social services tend to focus on parents with learning difficulties as problems, rather then something they can or could help with. We need family support workers, but then again social services use the excuse of not having enough money; yet they seem to find the money when it comes to these institutional mother and baby units which haven’t moved into the 21st Century. I wasn’t very confident in making up a feed because no one really had the time to sit down with me and fully explain how to do it because they were all too busy, or had someone else to see; and this was my first baby.

I breastfed for six month’s which was heard work and we thought it could be the cows milk, so we suggested to the health visitor about goat’s milk. She refused and insisted that he will go on SMA Gold which has traces of cow’s milk in; he was still loosing weight because he’s allergic to cow’s milk; so they admitted him to hospital. Children with eczema used to be put on cows milk years ago, but because we rely so much on scientific drugs etc the medical higher powers that be, seem to have forgotten all these natural remedies before all this technology was ever invented.

They didn’t tell me his weight when they took him into hospital, I was just known as ‘the girl with the learning difficulties’ who scored 79 in my IQ test because I was under a lot of pressure with the foreboding that he was going to be removed. I know for a fact my IQ is a lot higher then that, but it was lower then average due to the amount of pressure I had to put up with.

I have already had one reply from someone on this website who thought it was amusing that I had spelling mistakes in my post, thank you very much.