I do not know what to do.!

Ok As some of you know my daughter is 4 years old. My fiancee and i are getting aggravated with her. She has constant attitude, she hits and beats on other kids EVERYDAY!, she mouths off, today i woke up to a house smelling like CRAP. I thought the cat just went and that is what i was smelling. Well come to find out it was my 4 year old daughter who has been potty trained for 2 years now! She crapped in her bed. Her excuse for it was "she was too tired to get up & i felt like it" We have done everything you can think of to punish her. We are fresh out of Ideas. She is grounded to her bed for the day ( other then to eat or go potty). She can not talk to nor play with any kids. What do you all think i should do. Before you ask YES she gets a lot of attention. She is so spoiled. We give her tons of hugs and kisses. She gets them everynight before bed no matter how bad she was, we still love her and she is our daughter. We are not sure what to do anymore. This is the second time she Pooped in her bed. We bought her a new one BC the old one she had went in that and i could not get the stains out. Please Help me with this! We are going to go crazy!

[Cass]

Yikes...

Well you are right, by 4 she knows better than to go to the bathroom in her bed... peeing in your sleep is different than what she did on purpose.

She is also old enough to clean it up herself... so for starters I would have made her strip the bed, and deal with what needed to be cleaned.

I am sure in her little 'it's all about me' 4 year old brain ~ she would have found that very distasteful and would think twice about doing it again.

I also might have made her sit there for a while with it and ask her if that is how she wants to live? with a dirty bed like that?

I know you say you pay lots of attention and give her lots of hugs and kisses - but this really sounds like a cry for attention to me, negative or positive attention is still attention - maybe hearing you planning a wedding is bothering her, perhaps you are distracted?

About beating on the other kids... that is unacceptable, is she losing her temper with them and hitting in reaction to something or is she just seeking them to bully withour provocation? What does her teacher say about it?

So many questons... this could all just blow over, a stage persay.

Back when my daughter was in Grade one she was being botherered by a boy who kicked her in the shins..... I spoke to the school and he was suspended for a few days but when he came back he was still a little brat.. then one day when I was walking to school I saw his Mom there so I went to have a word.. she was the nicest lady and she felt terrible, she said she was at the end of her rope and she apoligized and was so upset. Then she asked if I wanted to have a 'strong word' with him.... and I had her permission...

So when he came out.. she was around the corner and I took him to the side, put on my sternest expression, and told him I was Noel's Mom and if he ever bothered her again he would have to deal with me. Then I added that Noel is a lot of fun and woud be a good friend if he would be nice to her... I never had a problem after that and Noel said he was good.

Good luck with your little girl! did you try taking her favorite toy away for a bit? something that means something to her.

YEs we took her favorite toys away from her. That didn't work. She hits kids just to hit them because she is bored she says. We are not really planning a wedding. Tim & i are just going to go to Vegas. But she has been like this for at least a year. She is not in School. She is here all day with me & the kids. ( SHe can not start school here until she is 5 1/2) I do her preschool BC they want 129.00 a week for that out here. We are just getting really tired of it. My fiancee sometimes will not even talk to her Bc he is so mad at her for what she has done.

[Cass]

Well nothing is as frustrating as a mouthy 4 year old, I can see your fiance getting quiet because he is so mad at her.

Kicking the other kids because she is bored... she needs one of them to kick back and teach her a lesson. I am not fan of spanking or corporal punishment of any kind, but sometimes it takes a swat to make them wise up.

Do you think she is spoiled? has too much? she seems to feel she is in charge of everyone, she needs a demotion!! does she disrespect you?

Yes she disrespects us. She is spolied but not that spoiled. One little girl hit her back one time and gave her a black eye ( She busted this little girls lip 1 week earlier) . She looked at her and laughed. We have spanked her and it does not work!

It doesn't sound like i am talking about a 4 year old!

[Bill Sikes]

Originally Posted by tmbsgrl

font=Lucida Sans Unicode color=blue

Yuck. Never mind, I've bothered to read despite that. Anyway, you might go to:- http://groups.google.co.uk/groups?hl...people.parents

and post your text there - Google groups, whilst a clunky gateway to Usenet, will give you a vast audience and high probablity of a useful reply. BTW, you will have to register first, but to do that you only need an e-mail address. Give it a go!

Originally Posted by Bill Sikes

Yuck. Never mind, I've bothered to read despite that. Anyway, you might go to:- http://groups.google.co.uk/groups?hl...people.parents

and post your text there - Google groups, whilst a clunky gateway to Usenet, will give you a vast audience and high probablity of a useful reply. BTW, you will have to register first, but to do that you only need an e-mail address. Give it a go!

Thanks

[Bill Sikes]

I forgot to mention - there are other groups such as:

alt.childcare
alt.parenting.solutions
alt.parenting.spanking

and a raft of others, but I find some of the "alt" heirarchy somewhat "noisy". u.p.p. is OK.

[Cass]

What is she like when you sit down and talk with her about it? When you tell her that Mommy is upset and she has been doing some bad things.