Growing up with an Abusive Dad

[Musiclover89]

Hi growing up i had an Abusive Dad who used to beat me up everynight and i still can remeber it all but i want to try and get it out of my memorys for good does anybody have any adivce for me i've tried putting my feelings on paper but that turned out to be a huge faileur (SP?)

[spot]

Are you sure you want to talk about it out in the open? Forums are permanent and public places.

These questions aren't necessarily for you to answer here but maybe just to think about. How do your siblings get on with your parents now? Did they have the same problem? Do any of you have children of your own?

I think anyone advising you - here or elsewhere - needs a better feel for how your family deals with it now, whether there's rifts, that sort of thing. What happened is history, what's happening now is what you need to cope with.

You have my heart felt sympathy.

[weeder]

I agree with Spot. But I also think that it is better to acknowledge the abuse somewhere... anywhere, than to have the upsetment stay inside of you. Telling is the first step towards dealing with it and helping yourself. It must hurt alot. I hope your not still in the situation. It would be really good if you had someone you trusted to talk to, and help you find ways to live with this.

[crazygal]

Daz have you ever had councilling?

[spot]

The other obvious question is whether you'll be going back to the same environment at the end of term. I know you've used the past tense to describe those events but being away from the original environment indefinitely does give you time to work these things through to a conclusion, which going back in two or three weeks doesn't.

[Carl44]

buddy , i really do feel for you i was an unwanted pregnancy putting that in he mildest of ways possible ,my dad used to starve me ,i got a severe beating once for eating a bit of fat off of his finished meal that was in the kitchen waiting to be scrapped off the plate and into the bin , he wanted me to suffer ,i had to sleep outside in a van with no blankets just dirty laundry to use to try to keep me warm . i was slave labour ,i used to have to muck out pigs on a farm then have to go to school without washing smelling of pig sh1t,i dont have to tell you how cruel the other kids were but at least i had room on the bus going there no one would sit anywhere near me,my dad used to kneel on my chest and punch me in the face making me repeat parrot like that i was ugly and useless ,but enough about jimbo.. painful as this is to talk about i just want you to know that i know your pain ok

the positives i have taken from the negative situation i was in

*my children have never been beaten ever

*no one can ever scare me ever i have had someone beat me every day so how can someone my size scare me its not going to happen

*my children know i love them i know how bad it is to be unloved

*i never ever let anyone get bullied i have been bullied not nice

*my kids have never gone hungry i remember the pangs of hunger ,and eating grass to stop the growling in my gut ..honest

the biggest positive i have is that i am a better man than he ever was in every way ,he was a gutless child abusing coward .. i am not that pleases me immensely ... you are better than your father take great pride in it

[Nomad]

This is just off the top of my head so take it as such. Maybe a letter to him. You could put everything you cant say to his face in the words you write. The pain, fear, hate, love, the why's.....
You could do it for you without expectations from him but who knows maybe it will spark something in him. Heal yourself. My warmest regards.

[Carl44]

Originally Posted by Nomad

This is just off the top of my head so take it as such. Maybe a letter to him. You could put everything you cant say to his face in the words you write. The pain, fear, hate, love, the why's.....
You could do it for you without expectations from him but who knows maybe it will spark something in him. Heal yourself. My warmest regards.

yes you could do that or not talk to him ever again or my own personal fave

bury him alive in the food that he hated most in my case it would be prawns

in custard for him

[WonderWendy3]

Originally Posted by Musiclover89

Hi growing up i had an Abusive Dad who used to beat me up everynight and i still can remeber it all but i want to try and get it out of my memorys for good does anybody have any adivce for me i've tried putting my feelings on paper but that turned out to be a huge faileur (SP?)

I know that was hard to put out on this forum. There are a lot of people here that are genuine and will talk to you and let you talk to them. I'm ONE of those people!

I have never been through what you have, but my heart breaks for you. I had an alcholoic Father growing up, but he never laid a hand on me, just mental abuse.

I hope that you get the counseling you need and that you will be able to become a healthy and happy Adult in spite of your past...

Jimbo...