Very Confused Parent

[samanthaguy]

Asyou may know from my other thread help asap my life is falling apart at the seams. Now i have another prob. I have 2 sons one 3 and the other 4 about a month ago they had a friend sleep over and we had an issue... my oldest alex informed me that his friend was licking his private and bit him.... Wow we didnt know what to do turns out all three of them were doing it.. we sat them down and nicley(not fussing) talked to them the other littel boy said that his step brother 6 and step sister 4 and an uncle(grown man) had been doing this to him. we explained to them that they cant do this tried to contact his mother and seperated them for the night. I really didnt want to send him home and make him feel like he did something wrong although he did but hes only 3, he had to learn it somewhere.. so the next day i talked to his mother and she didnt seem too concerned, needless to say i havent heard form her since. Last night isent my boys to bed and when i went to tuck them in i found them under the beb without their clothes on, i never could get them to tell me what they were doing, i didnt want to fuss b/c i wouldnt have gotten them to tell me anything that way either. this is really bothering me. Is this normal? Am i doing the right thing? Some advice would be great!!!!!!

Originally Posted by samanthaguy

Asyou may know from my other thread help asap my life is falling apart at the seams. Now i have another prob. I have 2 sons one 3 and the other 4 about a month ago they had a friend sleep over and we had an issue... my oldest alex informed me that his friend was licking his private and bit him.... Wow we didnt know what to do turns out all three of them were doing it.. we sat them down and nicley(not fussing) talked to them the other littel boy said that his step brother 6 and step sister 4 and an uncle(grown man) had been doing this to him. we explained to them that they cant do this tried to contact his mother and seperated them for the night. I really didnt want to send him home and make him feel like he did something wrong although he did but hes only 3, he had to learn it somewhere.. so the next day i talked to his mother and she didnt seem too concerned, needless to say i havent heard form her since. Last night isent my boys to bed and when i went to tuck them in i found them under the beb without their clothes on, i never could get them to tell me what they were doing, i didnt want to fuss b/c i wouldnt have gotten them to tell me anything that way either. this is really bothering me. Is this normal? Am i doing the right thing? Some advice would be great!!!!!!

About the other little boy, Isn't that molestation? I think it is normal for kids to touoch THEMSELVES BC they are exploring. At least that is what i heard. But i do not think that it is normal to be touhing, let alone licking other boys privates. It sounds like that littleboys uncle has the kids doing child porn, and that one that stayed at your house with you 2 sons is teaching it to them. Or at least showing them what his uncle makes his brother and sister to. I would contact a child abuse hotline and explain the situation. My daughter used to touch her self & i thought someone was molesting her ( i freak out easily) I called them and they told me it was normal as lng as she wasn't doing it to another girl or boy. I hope it gets better for you. Good luck. I hope this helps & makes sense.

[Florrie]

Samanthaguy

Sometimes kids get up to all sorts of silly / giggly / naughty behaviours, but this appears to be more of a learned sexualised behaviour.

When it's as you describe it is not acceptable, and usually the result of grooming or sexual abuse by an older person.

Your first priority is to protect your kids.

Inevitably at this age they may innocently play the game with other friends at some time in the future.

Friends parents may not react as tolorent / innocently as you. They may do the right thing and alert the authorities. It will be you / your family/ associates who will be under the spotlight. The kids may even be removed from your care while an investigation occurs.

Meanwhile you will have some explaining to do. In conclusion Authorities may consider that you did not act in the best interests of ALL the children especially your own - So much bother and heartache for an innocent family.
Dont let this happen. You must contact the police and Social Services/ Child Protective services ASAP. Child protection is everybodys business.

[BabyRider]

Samanthaguy, Please please PLEASE contact child protective services NOW! This little boy could not have any clue what he was doing and is most likely being molested. Protect your kids, and the other children involved, and call them NOW!!!!

[Olly]

CONTACT THE POLICE IMEDIATELY, the other boy's uncle sounds as if he's a paedophile, this therefore should be treated with the utmost seriousness and at the very least investigated thouroughly. Things like this are not tolerable, normal infantile sexual play is all fine and dandy, but not child molestation, as I said, contact the police imediately.

[samanthaguy]

thanks guys for all of your advice, i plan to take the proper steps to resolve this problem, btw does anybody know how to erase a thread, jut in case it might be better if this wasnt plastered all over the internet THANKS AGAIN

[koan]

Do not erase this thread!

The friend of sexual abuse is silence. If no one talks about it it doesn't stop. I experienced sexual abuse as a child. The mother probably didn't respond because she is choosing to be blind to it. Maybe not consciously but on some level she is not prepared to deal with it so all information goes over her head. This means, unfortunately, that you must deal with it. REPORT IT. For the little boy and his siblings...HELP THEM. They still don't know it is wrong and if, like it often does, the abuse is running in generational cycles there is a good chance the adults were abused and don't have the ability to deal with it.

For your boys, you need to have a big talk about what sexual abuse is and why it is bad. It is confusing to them because fondling feels good so they don't understand why it is bad. It takes a while but you should take the time to make it clear. I am now going to the abuse thread to post my story because your thread convinced me that I should.