Mental Health Issue

[uv_lightmyway]

I am going to be completely honest here, because I started seeing a mental health professional last week, and I just need to open up about what I have been suffering through...

I am 27 years old and I have never been in one relationship with a member of the opposite sex my entire life. I don't know if it's that I am ugly or not. I totally avoid cameras and I hate seeing my reflection in the mirror, yet at the same time I spend hours in front of it. I obsess over flaws that either are not there or are small (at least that's what people tell me). I constantly think I am fat, even though I have trouble finding my size jeans anymore because many stores stopped carrying 28 inch waist pants. I can see my ribs with my shirt off, but when I put the shirt on I still look fat. I have just been recently diagnosed with a condition called Body Dismorphic Disorder, though I have been suffering from it since before high school. It sounds like sheer vanity, but I swear it isn't. I honestly believe (or just assume naturally) that I am far too ugly to be talking to women. So I don't.

And I have hit a major breaking point this past year. I am trying to get help but I feel like I will be alone forever...and I can't figure out if I am ugly or not...

I mean, worst case scenerio I am hideous right? So I have to figure out how to cope...how can I stand to be alone forever if that is the case...I am not sure how to do that...

[spot]

If you're talking to professionals about your perception of your looks then let's assume none of us here can get a true impression of whether you're ugly or not, to start with. Whatever we say isn't a reflection on your body, it can't be because you're not capable of describing it objectively at the moment.

Maybe you can accept that how you look's only one influence on how desirable you are. You're somewhere above average intellectually, that's clear from your post. Presumably you have a moral code that keeps you from a life of crime. There's women who would take a list of what bothers them, "does he look good", "is he a crook" and "can he think" and put looks third in priority.

What do you enjoy doing? Are your days busy or empty? Can you play chess?

[uv_lightmyway]

Practicing piano. Aside from work, I mainly stay home and practice or read. That's about it. I don't like to show my face in public unless I feel good that day - like I have some semblance of an answer to my question. Otherwise, I get super paranoid - when I walk into a bar and hear people laughing, I am afraid they are perhaps laughing at me...

[Elvira]

Originally Posted by uv_lightmyway

Practicing piano. Aside from work, I mainly stay home and practice or read. That's about it. I don't like to show my face in public unless I feel good that day - like I have some semblance of an answer to my question. Otherwise, I get super paranoid - when I walk into a bar and hear people laughing, I am afraid they are perhaps laughing at me...

You've told us nothing about your personality!!!

That's what attracts women, in the long term. Looks may attract a woman to him, personality will keep her!

I'm with my partner because he challenges me intellectually... oh yeah, and I love him!

[cherandbuster]

Originally Posted by uv_lightmyway

I have just been recently diagnosed with a condition called Body Dismorphic Disorder, though I have been suffering from it since before high school.

Hi There

Body Dysmorphic Disorder is a real condition. I've worked for nutritionists before and now I work for psychiatrists -- and believe me, this is not as rare as some people may think. And it affects members of both sexes.

GOOD FOR YOU!!!! for seeking therapeutic help for this. You're on the way to feeling better about yourself -- and I commend you for confronting this issue, as it has gotten in the way of your enjoyment of life.

Please let us know how your treatment is going. Best of luck to you!

[Sweet Tooth]

I agree with Elvira- personality is everything! I remember when I went through a time in high school and found every one just so ugly even myself. And one thing that helped me was that everytime I looked at someone I would try to find something beautiful about them! Something as small as the shape of someones eyes! And it really help me put into perspective that everyone is beautiful in their own way. I grew up in the dance world so I understand the struggles of self image. But GOOD FOR YOU! Getting help like that is an awesome way to enjoy life to the fullest!!!! I play piano too! What is your favorite piece to play??

[minks]

I am with the others, good for you for seeking help. I hope this works for you. Please understand one thing, what one person calls beauty is not necessarily beauty to another, and what one person calls ugly is not necessarily ugly to another. All people like all different things/traits/features etc. I hope in all this you will learn to love yourself first, after that, you just watch you will be far more comfortable out there in the big bad world.
I do wish you luck.

[cherandbuster]

Originally Posted by spot

There's women who would take a list of what bothers them, "does he look good", "is he a crook" and "can he think" and put looks third in priority.

A *very* true statement.

I find my husband wildly attractive and honestly, his looks have very little to do with it.

His brain, his personality and his inate goodness hold much more value to me

[minks]

Originally Posted by cherandbuster

A *very* true statement.

I find my husband wildly attractive and honestly, his looks have very little to do with it.

His brain, his personality and his inate goodness hold much more value to me

I am with Cher as well, looks don't make the person. Sure we kid about here when we toss around beefcake pictures but there is far more out there that is more attractive than looks.

[cherandbuster]

Originally Posted by minks

I am with Cher as well, looks don't make the person. Sure we kid about here when we toss around beefcake pictures but there is far more out there that is more attractive than looks.

Minxsy

One good thing about getting older

is definitely getting wiser

. . . isn't it?