Suicide - should it be kept secret?

[Ciao, Bella!]

I belong to another forum, for a specific health concern. Recently, a member there posed this question: "Has this illness driven you to consider suicide?" (I'm paraphrasing here.)

This thread hit a major nerve! The majority of the posters agreed it should be brought out in the open, and discussed, while the rest cried it would lead new members to consider hurting themselves, and begged for the thread to be removed.

It's finally calming down over there, but now I'm curious. Does mainstream society still consider the very subject of suicide taboo, and what can be done to remove the stigma?

[Carl44]

i was going to say if you commited suicide whats the point in keeping it a secret you'd of been the last person to know about it

but my uncle who i thought the world of took his life , it seems to have a stigma attached to it a shame almost but if someone is in a lot of pain and does not want to live like that anymore than thats up to them ,but it might be easier if it was not known as it is hard for the family that is left behind

[RedGlitter]

Originally Posted by Ciao, Bella!

while the rest cried it would lead new members to consider hurting themselves, and begged for the thread to be removed.

Does mainstream society still consider the very subject of suicide taboo, and what can be done to remove the stigma?

The idea that suicide has a domino effect only goes to show how much it is still misunderstood. Personally? I think it's ridiculous to want the thread removed. That also shows how little those people understand about mental illness. It's like thinking that hiding all the knives will prevent someone from actually doing it.

Yes, I think society still sees suicide as a taboo subject. It also still considers it as an act of cowardice ad weakness and I completely disagree with that. People rarely consider the sheer amount of pain the attemptee must be in in order to consider the act at all, much less to complete it, but I think it's time we stopped labelling the victim as weak or bad for doing it, especially as a way of preventing others from doing same.

I'm bipolar and if you've seen me around on here, you know that I am open about it. In my mind, the only way to remove stigma is by talking about it, keeping it in the open and refusing to "accept* said stigma.

[WonderWendy3]

this is ironic since we just had a thread about the guy who committed suicide while he had his web-cam running.

I think it should be discussed. To many people are hurting and if they could share with others that have been there or have the same pain, could maybe help and prevent them from taking their lives.

I love to give encouragement to others, sometimes I don't know what to say, sometimes people just want you to listen, know that someone cares...

[Imladris]

I don't think you should ignore suicide or treat it as a taboo subject. It happens, people consider it, people attempt it and fail or succeed every day.

At my lowest point I thought about it, not seriously just toyed with the idea.

However what is not always recognised is the devasting affect that suicide has on the family and friends left behind. Suicide is both a selfless act and a selfish act.

e.g. the man who hung himself in a nearby town in a public park and was found hanging by two 12 year old girls - that is selfish, no thought given to who might find him and how traumatised they would be.

By all means be open, discuss it etc but tell people that the overriding emotion felt by a lot of those left is anger, not compassion. I want to be remembered fondly not by someone who is angry with me.

[spot]

There's a reasonable discussion which includes guidelines on what's useful and what's dangerous to discuss at http://www.who.int/mental_health/media/en/426.pdf

"Suicide is perhaps the most tragic way of ending one’s life. The majority of people who
consider suicide are ambivalent. They are not sure that they want to die. One of the many
factors that may lead a vulnerable individual to suicide could be publicity about suicides in the
media. How the media report on suicide cases can influence other suicides".

[Ciao, Bella!]

I feel badly when someone has come to the end of their rope, so to speak. I am willing to listen, to comfort, and to prod someone to seek professional help.

I just hate it when someone thinks any mention of it will drive someone to kill themselves. We're exposed to all sorts of things through tv and movies, such as alcoholism, drug use, etc., and yet I don't find myself led into it.

[koan]

I can't see how the posing the question is a problem.
Answering the question may well be a careless choice.

In my experience, you should never tell people on a forum anything they can use to flame you with unless it is a highly moderated, supportive board or one where you have reason to trust all the other members.

If a member tends to be mean to other members they can expect their victims to look for material to use against them. If the member is always kind and supportive themselves then the chances are good that sharing the info will be safe.

Summary: think about where you are before you post sensitive information about yourself

[Marie5656]

This can definatly be a touchy hot button topic. Does a person's right to a reasonable amount of privacy and dignity end with that person's death? Do we as people have a right to know everything about the passing of another person, if that person is not a close friend or loved one?
Would it help or hurt people to know the manner in which a person has died. And I do not mean just suicide. I mean a Natural death, or death after illness, or a drug OD. I have a cousin who took his own life, rather than dealing with the long term of a terminal illness. Many of us in the extended family had not even known he had been ill. Would it have made a difference? In this case probably not. We were not particularly close as adults, and I do not see that knowing he was ill would have brought us closer.
Did I feel I had a right or need to know the way he died? No. Not my business. Would my feelings at hearing of his death in his 40's have been different? No...I still would have been sad, even had I not learned how he died.

I think now a days, people expect to have too much shared with them that may or may not be thier business to know.

That being said...if someone is threatening suicide, they encourage that person to seek counseling. But also look into why the threat is being made..is it genuine? Is it attention seeking, or just for the shock value? If it is attention seeking (and a person's past history would determine that) then it is best to just let it go. Maybe quietly observe the person.

[alobar51]

Originally Posted by WonderWendy3

this is ironic since we just had a thread about the guy who committed suicide while he had his web-cam running.

I think it should be discussed. To many people are hurting and if they could share with others that have been there or have the same pain, could maybe help and prevent them from taking their lives.

I love to give encouragement to others, sometimes I don't know what to say, sometimes people just want you to listen, know that someone cares...

Denial ain't a river in Egypt.

Sweeping a topic under the rug can't be good. Look what 500 years of the catholic church sweeping its little pedophile priest problem under the rug got them.

Specific to topic, we have a friend over in the PhilZone who's father committed suicide, and the ripple of that act has scarred his son for life. Maybe discussion wouldn't have changed the outcome in this case, but it how could it have made it worse?