How does Lonely happen?

[koan]

Sometimes I can be surrounded by people, even one's I love, and still feel lonely. Please don't tell me it's because I haven't found God. I am very spiritual. Why does this feeling creep up even when I am happy? Maybe that's why I work so much. At least it always goes away.

[weeder]

I think lonely happens more often to very introspective people. Like yourself.They give things so much thought,that they evolve to a place where their own company is more satisfying than the company of others. I felt lonely for the first time in my life about 3 years ago. It hit me very hard. I couldnt understand why I felt so lonely,because I had never had a problem being by myself. I finally realized that for the first time in about 25 years... I was truly living without anyone else in the house. My last son had left home.. My last relationship had broken up, There wasnt anyone coming home. It was also because I didnt have anyone to take care of. The concept of taking care of myself was very foreign to me. I too turn to work to fill my life. My mom says I purposely over work to have an excuse not to meet anyone. Shes right. Because lonliness eventually becomes comfortable.
What I have decided now is that lonely time is another passage. A time in your life that has been presented as a gift. For you to turn the feeling into something valuable once the feeling has passed. Some people live entire lives never experiencing feeling lonely. I t is just another avenue for growth. Like loving, or laughing, or sharing, or being overwhelmed, or being sad... LONLEYING youve done it , youve overcome it, you can visit it sometimes and not feel bad. And you can always come here........................... With Love, Weeder

[koan]

Thank you, weeder.

I am recognising that some of the choices I am making may be from avoiding lonliness and that is never a good reason. The Garden definately helps beat away the little bouts of depression that try to edge in from time to time. On a bad day I run straight to the computer and type until the feeling goes away.

[weeder]

I found The Forum at a time when I was feeling terribly lonely and homesick. I am living 10 hours away from my family. When I came down here alone... I felt it was a very adventurous thing to do. I didnt anticipate how difficult it would be for me to be so far away.. I also thought ai would make many new friends. That isnt happening because I am very unlike most people here. Writing definately helped me over the hump, and gave me a diversion. Actually took my mind of the isolated feeling. It also got me writing again.. something I always loved, and hadnt done in years. The participating has also made me want to look forward to traveling again. Actually just the other day.. I felt pretty happy for the first time in a very long time. Im adjusting to my new life! It took a year. It can only get better from here.

[BabyRider]

Koan, it's because you haven't found God.

I'M KIDDING!

I know where you're coming from, there are times when, (especially if I'm alone), that I wonder "Does ANYone else in the world feel like I do?" Am I cracking up? I have no problem with my own company, I enjoy being by myself sometimes. But other times, it's just like there isn't another person in the world who understands anything. This place has helped. Much to my surprise. I do feel like I know some of you, and certain threads have made me realize that there ARE other people out there with similar experiences, problems, feelings, joys, loves, hates...It is reassuring. Almost therapuetic! When I feel lonely this is the first place I come now, if I can't or don't want to get out. I read your stuff (and weeders) to be inspired, I read Cassie's stuff to laugh, I read anastropne's stuff to get the brain cells pumping, I even read certain people's posts who I don't like or agree with just to get the blood flowing.

[Florrie]

It's a creeping pain in the gut which radiates through every pour and cell in the body.
Even when surrounded by people your sense of being is nothing but isolation.

Lonelyness is................................................ ............emptyness

[Paula]

when you make people mad they don't want to see you.

[koan]

Funny enough, it's the people I tell off that keep coming back for more.

[CARLA]

WEEDER,

I JUST ADMIRE YOUR THOUGHT PROCESS, YOU HAVE A WAY WITH WORDS..!! I UNDERSTAND WHERE YOUR COMING FROM WHENEVER I READ ONE OF YOUR POSTS.. EXCELLENT POST..!!

I think lonely happens more often to very introspective people. Like yourself.They give things so much thought,that they evolve to a place where their own company is more satisfying than the company of others. I felt lonely for the first time in my life about 3 years ago. It hit me very hard. I couldnt understand why I felt so lonely,because I had never had a problem being by myself. I finally realized that for the first time in about 25 years... I was truly living without anyone else in the house. My last son had left home.. My last relationship had broken up, There wasnt anyone coming home. It was also because I didnt have anyone to take care of. The concept of taking care of myself was very foreign to me. I too turn to work to fill my life. My mom says I purposely over work to have an excuse not to meet anyone. Shes right. Because lonliness eventually becomes comfortable.
What I have decided now is that lonely time is another passage. A time in your life that has been presented as a gift. For you to turn the feeling into something valuable once the feeling has passed. Some people live entire lives never experiencing feeling lonely. I t is just another avenue for growth. Like loving, or laughing, or sharing, or being overwhelmed, or being sad... LONLEYING youve done it , youve overcome it, you can visit it sometimes and not feel bad. And you can always come here........................... With Love, Weeder

[Paula]

Originally Posted by koan

Funny enough, it's the people I tell off that keep coming back for more.

Koan, you need a good spanking, okay?