Why is it family and friends are the first to turn their backs?

[katelyn]

Hi all,
I'm new to this forum but I have a little situation. Why is it that when you tell family/friends of great things you want to accomplish, they stand behind you saying "Yeah that's great, you should do it! I'm there for you!" But, as soon as you pursue your dreams and they become a success, those very individuals become bothered and irritated with you. Your mere presence all of sudden sends them into a tailspin and they can't see their way clear . It's like you've become some sort of 'Traitor' for pursuing your goals.

To make a long story short, I wrote a book based on my life, it's one of several books, and now that people are buying it, those I truly believed would stand by me, have turned their backs faster than their body can move. I'm not really asking advice, but it's just sad that your own people hate to see you become a success! Does anyone else have this problem with their family/friends?

P.S. No, there's nothing in the book about them.

[weeder]

Dear Katelyn.. I am The Black Sheep in my family. My deceased sister was cannonized.. My attorney sister is the scholorly ? Success. Shes an Attorney. I am the Gardener, Writer, Painter, Odd Ball Thinker. Somewhere way back in my beginnings .. I started loving to Say what I mean and mean what I say.. way of life. Kahil Gilbran wrote... Our children belong to us for a little while... Then we shoot them off like arrows....... To spend your life seeking family approval is to embrace a life of dissapointment and sorrow. Your a published author? Oh my!
What a reason to be proud! Enjoy it... Look forward... dont concern yourself with what anyone else thinks...... Weeder

[Cass]

Hi Katelyn, wait and see ~ give them time to come around. It maybe that they don't know how to react to your success ~ change scares people and perhaps they are defensive or even jealous.

Congrats by the way, you should be very proud of yourself and that matters more than what anyone else can say to you..

[Jack Sprat]

Katelyn,

What you are describing is a common trait of human nature: jealousy. It makes no difference whether it is a relative, friend, colleague. In our society people refuse to accept the blame for anything. The corollary of that is that if others achieve what they cannot, then the successful person must be cheating. Why her and not me? I deserve it more; she must have done XYZ in order to become successful.

I hope you get lots of such vibrations throughout your life: it will mean that you are truly successful.

[koan]

Jealousy is very hurtful. I remember distinctly the last time I felt it. My roommate and I both bought lottery tickets. We watched the draw together on tv. She won $20. Whoopee. But for some reason I got intensely jealous thinking I needed the twenty more. It passed in moments but I felt so filthy that I had a 45 minute shower to get rid of the nastiness and vowed never to feel jealousy again. I haven't. Unfortunely many people do. I have had people jealous of me for reasons I didn't understand and it affects you on many levels until you realize that it is a process they are going through on their journey to self love. It really has nothing to do with you.

[ScoupeSlave]

i kinda have the same situation. my family has always been really supportive of me, and i was the "golden child" for a very long time.

well around a year ago, i met this great guy and fell in love instantly. my parents dissapproved of me seeing him (not for any rational reason!! beleive me, they have never met the guy) well long story short, my parents kicked me out of the house. well i just had moved to tucson at that time and had no friends, so i obviously moved in with him. my parents have disowned me from their family. my grandparents (that pratically raised me) still do not approve of what i am doing. they are die hard catholics and it is amortal sin for me to live with my fiance and not be married. so i know how it feels.

the second that you need support and someone to tell you that "You can do this!" they all turn your back. but you learn A LOT about yourself in the long run. you learn that you can do this... but you can do it all on your own and you don't need your family and friends backing you up (even though it would have helped the process out a whole bunch!!!)


-SS

[ilona17]

I think it's beacause they are jealous that you made something out of you're seld and worked hard for it. They said the would support you because they fought you're dreams would never become reality and now that they have it frightens them. oh Well if they cant support you you're better of with out them. undefinedundefined

[katelyn]

Thanks weeder, trust me, I'm not seeking approval from anyone, I just wanted to put it out there about friends and family and how they're always the first to turn their backs on you. Yes, I'm very proud of myself, and never will I seek approval from other people, because I learned at a very young age that the only person in my life whose approval I need to seek is my own.

[katelyn]

Thanks Cassie, you know, I've tried to wait and give them a chance, but without failure every time they can be counted on to be negative about anything positive. So, I deal with certain people accordingly, and on a cordial basis only.

[katelyn]

Oh Jack, thanks for the coffee!! I truly need it. And thanks for the nice words.