A hurting Mommy

[Hannahzmommy]

I am so broken right now that I do not know what to do. I have a daughter that would have turned eight this year. She was born still in 1999 and I never told anyone. I was scared. I miss her and feel so guilty that words cannot express it. I also have a son that died at 19 days old of SIDS. I feel that God has turned from me and is punishing me for something that I did. I am lost and could really use your support right now. My heart is hurting so much. I am so afraid of losing someone else. I just do not think that I can do it. . HELP!! Faith

[Pheasy]

Hi HannahzMommy. I am so sorry to hear about your loses. This is a very sad time for you right now and I understand how you are missing them and feeling abandoned. There are others here who also have lost their babies. They will show you that there is hope and a future. Although you will never forget, they will show you that you can go on and have a wonderful life. People here are very understanding and are good people for you to talk to.

Have you also been able to talk to someone and get help for your feeling in RL? Do not try to do this alone

Welcome to FG

[Uncle Fester]

Originally Posted by Hannahzmommy

I am so broken right now that I do not know what to do. I have a daughter that would have turned eight this year. She was born still in 1999 and I never told anyone. I was scared. I miss her and feel so guilty that words cannot express it. I also have a son that died at 19 days old of SIDS. I feel that God has turned from me and is punishing me for something that I did. I am lost and could really use your support right now. My heart is hurting so much. I am so afraid of losing someone else. I just do not think that I can do it. . HELP!! Faith

Welcome to FG I feel so sad at your grief , I can tell you from personal experience that the love and support from the great people here will make you realize that you are not alone

[sunny104]

I'm so sorry to hear that!

we're a very close little group here, please stick around. Hopefully we can help ease your pain a bit with our goofy selves and we're always here with shoulders to lean on or cry on for each other.

[pinkchick]

Originally Posted by Hannahzmommy

I am so broken right now that I do not know what to do. I have a daughter that would have turned eight this year. She was born still in 1999 and I never told anyone. I was scared. I miss her and feel so guilty that words cannot express it. I also have a son that died at 19 days old of SIDS. I feel that God has turned from me and is punishing me for something that I did. I am lost and could really use your support right now. My heart is hurting so much. I am so afraid of losing someone else. I just do not think that I can do it. . HELP!! Faith

Hi Faith - welcome to FG

I am so sorry for your loses pet. You know what though? You have absolutely nothing to feel guilty for. What happened to you was terrible but it's not your fault
at all. I am possibly a little less qualified to speak on this subject than many others here. However, I will say this - I had a sibling who, very sadly did not make it into this world so I know a little of how you feel.
She would have been 18 years old now and still I feel like there is a gaping hole in my life. I still miss her very, very much but something you should remember is this.......
As long as a lost loved one is in your thoughts - they are never far away.

[Pheasy]

Originally Posted by pinkchick

Hi Faith - welcome to FG

I am so sorry for your loses pet. You know what though? You have absolutely nothing to feel guilty for. What happened to you was terrible but it's not your fault
at all. I am possibly a little less qualified to speak on this subject than many others here. However, I will say this - I had a sibling who, very sadly did not make it into this world so I know a little of how you feel.
She would have been 18 years old now and still I feel like there is a gaping hole in my life. I still miss her very, very much but something you should remember is this.......
As long as a lost loved one is in your thoughts - they are never far away.

Chicky

[along-for-the-ride]

Here's a hug for you, HannahsMommie.
Are you expecting again? If you are, just get a check-up and take care of yourself. I would bet that you did nothing wrong before, so don't blame yourself. Guilt is just one fo the feelings of mourning. I've been there.

My first son died of meningitis when he was only four months old. He was perfectly healthy, until he got that virus. During the few days of his illnes, my husband was away on military duty and I was alone in a foreign country. I carried him to the doctor and did what I was told to do for the baby, but this did not help. I had never felt so alone in my life. After his death, I did feel the grief and the deep sorrow. During those months after his death, sometimes people who ask if I have any children. I would answer, "Yes. I did have a son, but he passed away." I said this not for sympathy, but because it just didn't seem fair to my son to say he did not exist. He did exist, for four months. I held him, fed him, changed him, bathed him, sang to him. I have since been blessed with three more children, who are all grown now.
My first son, Darren, would have been 36 this December. He will always hold a special place in my heart. He is my angel.