Screaming inside

[Hannahzmommy]

I don't know what to do with the heartheart that burns within me. I miss my babies. I want them back. They should be here with me. I should not have to face the rest of my life with not having my angels here with me. I know that God is real and there but why would he allow this. I just do not understand this. Why do I feel like no one cares about me. Why did my family not support me and instead blame me. I needed them. I just wanted someone to hold me and tell me that it was going to be okay even though I know now that it will never be okay. I just wanted someone to love me and help me through this. I couldn't even run to my mother because she was too busy blaming me for Garrett's death and no one even knows about Hannah. She is my forgotten love and I don't think I could ever forgive myself for that one. I hate this feeling. I hate being alone. I need you all right now. More than I can say. I am scared. I do not want to face this.

[jimbo]

you are not alone in going through the death of your children there are a few people on fg that have been right where you are now ,things will get better in time i promise


i can give you no other advice on your family problems though ,if you want friends that will listen your posting on the right place ...let it all out its good for the soul honest ,i spilled my guts like you would not believe when i first joined fg ... it really helped me as it has many other in the garden

[Rapunzel]

Hi there Hannahzmommy and welcome to FG.

Lots of us here understand the agonies you're going through and you're very welcome to vent your anger and frustration. We're here to help.

I would also recommend you try netmums dot com. They have a great friends and support section and if you go to the Netmums Coffeehouse there is a section on Miscarriage, stillbirth & loss of a child. There you will be surrounded by the warmth and understanding of others who walk in your shoes.

Big hugs to you hunny. The more you talk about it the more you'll be able to cope with it. And don't forget you're feeling extra emotional and teary with another little one on the way. Huge hugs to you. Take care. Mel.

[KathyM]

Please know you are not alone.....pain of losing a child is unexplainable. I am so sorry that you are living with this pain too. My son, who was 17, died suddenly. It know has been two years, and it is no easier to deal with. Not a minute goes by that I think of him. It is like he was just here, although now two years have passed by. I wonder how much pain a person can take before just losing it altogether. But I thank God for all Matt's friends, they have been our biggest help. I can see him in all their smiles, and I know how proud Matt must be of all his friends helping us through this new life we are drading to face each day. But each day comes, and we get through it. Matthew was our only child........and it was the best 17 years of my life. You will make it through this pain that you are feeling....always make them apart of your life., because they always will be. Take care, you still have other little ones that need you so much.......

[guppy]

Hi hanz-welcome to fg..There are alot of super people here..some who have been through what you are going through..you are not alone..and remember you are loved..

[Hannahzmommy]

Abbey are you in here. I was hoping that maybe you had a minute.

[jimbo]

Originally Posted by KathyM

Please know you are not alone.....pain of losing a child is unexplainable. I am so sorry that you are living with this pain too. My son, who was 17, died suddenly. It know has been two years, and it is no easier to deal with. Not a minute goes by that I think of him. It is like he was just here, although now two years have passed by. I wonder how much pain a person can take before just losing it altogether. But I thank God for all Matt's friends, they have been our biggest help. I can see him in all their smiles, and I know how proud Matt must be of all his friends helping us through this new life we are drading to face each day. But each day comes, and we get through it. Matthew was our only child........and it was the best 17 years of my life. You will make it through this pain that you are feeling....always make them apart of your life., because they always will be. Take care, you still have other little ones that need you so much.......

kathy just reading this i have tears streaming down my face , i have lost my daughter ,it would of been her birthday today and my two younger brothers and my cousine who was also my best friend

all i can say is my other family members i have managed some how to move on accept it somehow and live again

but the death of your child just goes against the natural order of things somehow ,time does not heal it at all in my case ,you just seem to be in limbo ,not quite like every one else ,i think you will know what i mean

my heart goes out to you ,i hope you manage to cope with your dreadfull lose ,two years is nothing my friend in 20 years it will still feel the same ,why ?? because you loved your child more than anything else in the world ,your child was and is your world ,you love your child so much thats why it hurts so much if you did not than you would not hurt so when you feel the pain of missing mathew take some comfort in it as i do when i'm hurting over my natasha ,i only hurt so much becuase i love her so much

sorry the ramblings of a grieving hurting moron

[Pheasy]

I Pm'd Kathy to try and get her to stay and chat in the garden. Hopefully she will soon.

HannahzMommy, Kathy and Jimbo