Betrayal

auntdenise · 03-24-2005, 07:10 PM

I'm new to this kind of forum, but I have already found so much comfort here that I thought I would try to start a discussion myself, free therapy so to speak. My situation is this......a little over a year ago my little sister was having marriage difficulties and needed a safe haven for a while so I opened my doors to her. Within three months I find that my husband and her are in a relationship and moving towards a future that didn't include me! Anyhow, I ran and am starting over, but I have spent many sleepless nights consumed by anger and rage, and thoughts on how to get even. (Though none were ever really options) In my healing I have read everything I could get my hands on about betrayal and the trappings of it. I am begining to understand that all the emotions that I have dealt with are normal for my situation but I am always willing to listen to the words of other enlightened spirits. Anyone have any?

lady cop · 03-25-2005, 12:01 AM

what a bitter betrayal, sister and husband. of course you have fantasies of revenge and hatred. of course you know from your readings that those thoughts will only consume and destroy you. you left, you are starting a new life. you will be OK. but the pain must be overwhelming. somehow you will get through and prevail, you will find happiness again, i promise you. letting go of the rage has to be the hardest part. focus on this...one day you will be happy. you have released the disloyal and immoral. you will now be free to meet the good. FREE. see yourself as FREE. the world is open to you, you have choices again. all the best to you!

Der Wulf · 03-25-2005, 12:21 AM

The best revenge will be the delightful person you make of yourself as you rise above their betrayal.

greydeadhead · 03-25-2005, 04:37 AM

First of all sorry to hear about your situation.. I can understand why you ran. Revenge is not the anwser though it might bring you some momentary satisfaction... you would only be lowering yourself to thier level and obviously you are way above that.
Everything you are feeling is normal. Don't let yourself get eaten up by it. You have already taken a huge step by realizing and accepting what you feel is normal. Now move past it.. As LC says.. you are now free to make your own choices.. chose the high road.. and you well be happier for it..
have a great day and be well...

03-25-2005, 04:51 AM

I am sorry for what you are going through. I wish there was something i could say to make you feel better but i can't... You husband & your sister never should have even thought about doing something like that to you.. I understand why you feel anger and rage.. I would too! I hope things get better for you. BTW~ Welcome to the Forumgarden. Hope you continue to post here..

auntdenise · 03-25-2005, 03:49 PM

So many kind people and wise words! Something greater than me lead me to this site......Thanks

along-for-the-ride · 03-26-2005, 06:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Der Wulf

The best revenge will be the delightful person you make of yourself as you rise above their betrayal.

Sorry for your pain. This advice, however, is the best. You cannot live their lives, you can only live your own. Please don't let bitterness and hurt (though justified) ruin yours.

imagination · 04-18-2005, 01:40 PM

i MAY HAVE YOU SITUATION TOO, DID Y0U MAKE ANY PROGRESS SINCE , DO YOU HAVE CONTACT WITH YOUR FAMILY OR DID YOU STOP ANY CONTACT WITH THEM??? PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!

ice maiden · 04-18-2005, 01:59 PM

you have been very brave to run good advice above

February_Stormz · 04-18-2005, 03:16 PM

You don't mention if there are children involved. I hope not for your sake. That just makes things harder when you have to continue to face him and your sister.

I have been through a similar situation in my long ago past so I can really relate to the anger and rage and the urge to try and get even. But think of yourself as going in the right direction, moving forward and getting past this situation. Please don't do anything you might regret down the road. Him and her are not worth it!

Chatting with people who care is the best therapy for you right now. If you need to vent, we at FG are here for you.

Keep us posted and please don't hesitate to visit FG if you need to talk.

03-24-2005, 07:10 PM	#1 (permalink)
auntdenise Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Delaware, Ohio Posts: 11	Betrayal I'm new to this kind of forum, but I have already found so much comfort here that I thought I would try to start a discussion myself, free therapy so to speak. My situation is this......a little over a year ago my little sister was having marriage difficulties and needed a safe haven for a while so I opened my doors to her. Within three months I find that my husband and her are in a relationship and moving towards a future that didn't include me! Anyhow, I ran and am starting over, but I have spent many sleepless nights consumed by anger and rage, and thoughts on how to get even. (Though none were ever really options) In my healing I have read everything I could get my hands on about betrayal and the trappings of it. I am begining to understand that all the emotions that I have dealt with are normal for my situation but I am always willing to listen to the words of other enlightened spirits. Anyone have any?
Local Time: 11:39 PM Local Date: 11-20-2008

03-25-2005, 12:01 AM	#2 (permalink)
lady cop Banned Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: margaritaville Posts: 14,677	Re: Betrayal what a bitter betrayal, sister and husband. of course you have fantasies of revenge and hatred. of course you know from your readings that those thoughts will only consume and destroy you. you left, you are starting a new life. you will be OK. but the pain must be overwhelming. somehow you will get through and prevail, you will find happiness again, i promise you. letting go of the rage has to be the hardest part. focus on this...one day you will be happy. you have released the disloyal and immoral. you will now be free to meet the good. FREE. see yourself as FREE. the world is open to you, you have choices again. all the best to you!
Local Time: 11:39 PM Local Date: 11-20-2008

03-25-2005, 12:21 AM	#3 (permalink)
Der Wulf Senior Member Supporting Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Arizona, USA Posts: 720	Re: Betrayal The best revenge will be the delightful person you make of yourself as you rise above their betrayal. __________________ Old age and treachery, is an acceptable response to overwelming youth and skill
Local Time: 09:39 PM Local Date: 11-20-2008

03-25-2005, 04:37 AM	#4 (permalink)
greydeadhead Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: New England Posts: 1,042	Re: Betrayal First of all sorry to hear about your situation.. I can understand why you ran. Revenge is not the anwser though it might bring you some momentary satisfaction... you would only be lowering yourself to thier level and obviously you are way above that. Everything you are feeling is normal. Don't let yourself get eaten up by it. You have already taken a huge step by realizing and accepting what you feel is normal. Now move past it.. As LC says.. you are now free to make your own choices.. chose the high road.. and you well be happier for it.. have a great day and be well... __________________ Feed your spirit by living near it -- Magic Hat Brewery bottle cap
Local Time: 11:39 PM Local Date: 11-20-2008

03-25-2005, 04:51 AM	#5 (permalink)
tmbsgrl Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Betrayal I am sorry for what you are going through. I wish there was something i could say to make you feel better but i can't... You husband & your sister never should have even thought about doing something like that to you.. I understand why you feel anger and rage.. I would too! I hope things get better for you. BTW~ Welcome to the Forumgarden. Hope you continue to post here..

03-25-2005, 03:49 PM	#6 (permalink)
auntdenise Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Delaware, Ohio Posts: 11	Re: Betrayal So many kind people and wise words! Something greater than me lead me to this site......Thanks
Local Time: 11:39 PM Local Date: 11-20-2008

04-18-2005, 01:40 PM	#8 (permalink)
imagination Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 1	Re: Betrayal i MAY HAVE YOU SITUATION TOO, DID Y0U MAKE ANY PROGRESS SINCE , DO YOU HAVE CONTACT WITH YOUR FAMILY OR DID YOU STOP ANY CONTACT WITH THEM??? PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!
Local Time: 08:39 PM Local Date: 11-20-2008

04-18-2005, 01:59 PM	#9 (permalink)
ice maiden Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: wales Posts: 473	Re: Betrayal you have been very brave to run good advice above
Local Time: 05:39 AM Local Date: 11-21-2008

04-18-2005, 03:16 PM	#10 (permalink)
February_Stormz Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Michigan Posts: 312	Re: Betrayal You don't mention if there are children involved. I hope not for your sake. That just makes things harder when you have to continue to face him and your sister. I have been through a similar situation in my long ago past so I can really relate to the anger and rage and the urge to try and get even. But think of yourself as going in the right direction, moving forward and getting past this situation. Please don't do anything you might regret down the road. Him and her are not worth it! Chatting with people who care is the best therapy for you right now. If you need to vent, we at FG are here for you. Keep us posted and please don't hesitate to visit FG if you need to talk.
Local Time: 08:39 PM Local Date: 11-20-2008

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