Men and Shopping

Tombstone · 03-25-2005, 02:44 PM

15 things a man can do at Wal-Mart while his wife is taking her own sweet
time:

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's carts when they
aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone: 'Code 3 in
Housewares' . and see what happens.

4. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Setup a tent in the Camping Department - and tell other shoppers you're
sleeping over; invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bedding
Department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why can't
you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your
nose.

9. While handling guns in the Hunting Department, ask the clerk if he knows
where the antidepressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the them from
"Mission Impossible."

11. In the Auto Department, practice your "Madonna look" using different
sized funnels.

12. Hide in a clothing rack . and when people browse through, say: "PICK
ME!!! PICK ME!!!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal
position and scream "NO!.It's those voices again!!!" And last but not least:

14. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while . then yell
loudly: "There's no toilet paper in here!"

BabyRider · 03-25-2005, 02:49 PM

Oh geez, Tombstone...Why, WHY did you have to give him these ideas??!!!?!?!
Of course, now he'll WANT to go shopping with me. That is TOO damn funny, loved it!

lady cop · 03-25-2005, 02:53 PM

that was really good!

...you gave away one of my tricks, when i used to bust shoplifters for walmart i would hide in clothing racks, people were always reporting me! LOL

Tombstone · 03-25-2005, 02:54 PM

Yes, it is indeed dangerous to give men new ideas about shopping!

03-25-2005, 07:01 PM

OMG! Those are so funny! Thanks for the laugh!

robinseggs · 03-26-2005, 08:32 AM

OMG! Hysterical!!! I was in Walmart about a month ago and passing by the office/desk/furniture section.....and some husband had sat down in one of those office swivel chairs. He was completely PASSED out!!! He had his arms folded across his chest and his head kept bobbing.....I was just dying!!! My 4 yr old yelled really loud, "Hey look mommy! There's a MAN in there sleeping!" I had to wonder how long he had been in there, although most men can fall asleep on the drop of a dime...what's up with that anyway!???!!

capt_buzzard · 03-27-2005, 04:03 AM

That sounds like any store in Ireland

robinseggs · 03-27-2005, 08:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by capt_buzzard

That sounds like any store in Ireland

That is too funny!! Must be a lot of patient men there.....I call them the "bench sitters"!!!!! LOL

koan · 03-27-2005, 10:04 PM

But if I catch 'em embarrassing me I send them to store for KOTEX!!!

03-25-2005, 02:44 PM	#1 (permalink)
Tombstone Little did I know... Supporting Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Idaho Panhandle Posts: 3,511	Men and Shopping 15 things a man can do at Wal-Mart while his wife is taking her own sweet time: 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals. 3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone: 'Code 3 in Housewares' . and see what happens. 4. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on layaway. 5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 6. Setup a tent in the Camping Department - and tell other shoppers you're sleeping over; invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bedding Department. 7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 8. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose. 9. While handling guns in the Hunting Department, ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are. 10. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the them from "Mission Impossible." 11. In the Auto Department, practice your "Madonna look" using different sized funnels. 12. Hide in a clothing rack . and when people browse through, say: "PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!" 13. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO!.It's those voices again!!!" And last but not least: 14. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while . then yell loudly: "There's no toilet paper in here!" __________________ where are we going? why am i in this handbasket?
Local Time: 08:01 AM Local Date: 12-02-2008

03-25-2005, 02:49 PM	#2 (permalink)
BabyRider Missin and LOVIN Bullet Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: My own private Hell Posts: 10,069	Re: Men and Shopping Oh geez, Tombstone...Why, WHY did you have to give him these ideas??!!!?!?! Of course, now he'll WANT to go shopping with me. That is TOO damn funny, loved it! __________________ I hope you cherish this sweet way of life, and I hope you know that it comes with a price. ~Darrel Worley~ Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN????? We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.
Local Time: 11:01 AM Local Date: 12-02-2008

03-25-2005, 02:53 PM	#3 (permalink)
lady cop Banned Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: margaritaville Posts: 14,677	Re: Men and Shopping that was really good! ...you gave away one of my tricks, when i used to bust shoplifters for walmart i would hide in clothing racks, people were always reporting me! LOL
Local Time: 11:01 AM Local Date: 12-02-2008

03-25-2005, 02:54 PM	#4 (permalink)
Tombstone Little did I know... Supporting Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Idaho Panhandle Posts: 3,511	Re: Men and Shopping Yes, it is indeed dangerous to give men new ideas about shopping! __________________ where are we going? why am i in this handbasket?
Local Time: 08:01 AM Local Date: 12-02-2008

03-25-2005, 07:01 PM	#5 (permalink)
tmbsgrl Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Men and Shopping OMG! Those are so funny! Thanks for the laugh!

03-26-2005, 08:32 AM	#6 (permalink)
robinseggs Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 887	Re: Men and Shopping OMG! Hysterical!!! I was in Walmart about a month ago and passing by the office/desk/furniture section.....and some husband had sat down in one of those office swivel chairs. He was completely PASSED out!!! He had his arms folded across his chest and his head kept bobbing.....I was just dying!!! My 4 yr old yelled really loud, "Hey look mommy! There's a MAN in there sleeping!" I had to wonder how long he had been in there, although most men can fall asleep on the drop of a dime...what's up with that anyway!???!! __________________ Nature laughs Last
Local Time: 11:01 AM Local Date: 12-02-2008

03-27-2005, 04:03 AM	#7 (permalink)
capt_buzzard All Human Life Is Here... Supporting Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Ireland Posts: 5,807	Re: Men and Shopping That sounds like any store in Ireland
Local Time: 05:01 PM Local Date: 12-02-2008

03-27-2005, 10:04 PM	#9 (permalink)
koan anomaly Supporting Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Canada Posts: 12,696	Re: Men and Shopping But if I catch 'em embarrassing me I send them to store for KOTEX!!! __________________ Having the right to an opinion does not make your opinion right.
Local Time: 08:01 AM Local Date: 12-02-2008

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