Parenting?

[Lon]

Letting 3, 4, 5, & 6 year olds run amuck must be in vougue now amongst the 30 something moms & dads. While getting a haircut this AM, I watched as three kids literally tear the joint apart while mom was having her nails done. Kids swinging on the front door, throwing scissors, screaming, yelling & tearing up magazines. No attempt by mom to control them at all. This doesn't seem to be a unique situation as I recently observed similar behavior by Asian families.
My kids would have been told to sit in a chair and read a book or mag and keep quiet, and they would comply or get swatted on the butt with a rolled up newspaper. I know that with the "Time Out Crap" that modern day parents like to use (but don't) that my raising of kids is old fashioned & archaic, but it sure worked. I noticed that with my grand kids, they were disiplined somewhere between what is in vougue today and the more strict way I raised their parents. Teenagers are tough enough to rear and if they haven't learned some disipline and had some controls by their teens, woe be unto the parents. As a general observation from this septuagenarian, I credit much of todays problems with youth as stemming from a lack of disipline and controls at the earlier ages. Now, doesn't that sound like something and old fart would say?

[abbey]

Parents just don't seem to give a toss anymore.
I think it must be a gene that's been developed over the past 15 years, whereby the parents turn a deaf-un whenever their kids run amok!!
Could'nt you just get hold of the mother, shake her and shout " ARE YOU BLOODY DEAF, CAN'T YOU SEE OR HEAR YOUR BLOODY CHILDREN???"

[canaan]

I'm still 'old fashioned' in my discipline. We don't do time out. Kids can entertain themselves while sitting in the "naughty spot" just as easily as they can sitting on the couch watching t.v.....I'm not overly strict and my kids are far from angels but they know that when we are out in public they best not embarass me or act like heathens. Problem with most kids in public is that they know that the parents can't spank them for fear of getting charged with child abuse. So, with my little ones, instead of swatting them on the tail, I will pick them up and pinch them on the leg.
Noone sees it but it sure does settle the little angels down. I usually don't have to tell them to calm down anymore. At least at that store.

[KittylovingBlond]

I couldn't agree with you more. Children nowadays are free to do whatever they want, whenever they want with no consequences. Whoever decided that children should not be spanked has another thing coming. Most people I know were spanked when they were children- they weren't bruised or broken, just spanked when they were bad. Now these people have grown into mature, responsible adults because they weren't raised by this peace and love no hitting kind of hippy society we have now. I can honestly say that I am a better person for being spanked as a child. I shudder to think what this next generation is going to do to society. Sure, leave children to be parented by the television.

I have seen so many similar situations in grocery stores, parks, retail stores, etc. Just about anywhere there are children, I experience that type of behavior- and the behavior I'm talking about is the PARENTS not disciplining their obviously ungoverened children. What will happen when the already dwindling concept of MANNERS, values, and the Golden Rule completely fades out? I am scared and appaled that we have allowed this attitude to evolve.

We are beginning to take the "civil" out of civilization.

[BabyRider]

Oh, Lon, I couldn't agree more. You say "Doesn't that sound like something an old fart would say?" Well, I guess I'm an old fart also, at 34. I truly despise the new "parenting techniques." They aren't techniques at all, but pure laziness on the parent's parts. I was at the laundromat on Monday, and there were several small kids running around, climbing on the tables, pushing each other around in the carts, screaming at the top of their lungs, and just being generally OBNOXIOUS!!! At one point, one of the kids getting a "ride" in the laundry cart was directly behind me and let out a screech that just about curled my hair. Now, the laundromat is not my favorite place to be in the first place. When I have to listen to the little heathens yelling and slamming crap around the place, my nerves are shot, and my temper reaches an abrupt and ugly end. After I got my racing heart under control, I turned around and said to the kid pushing the cart, "If you're gonna be so F-ing loud, do it by your parents!!!!" OK, ok, I yelled it. A moment of utter silence, followed by a dad running over, grabbing his ankle-biter, and glaring at me for yelling at his kid. But he didn't say a word to me, he knew his kids were acting like cretins. And I felt better getting to yell at someone.
When my sister and I were real young, we behaved in public. Period. You acted up, you got swatted. Waitresses and so forth would always comment to our parents, "Wow, you're so lucky, your kids behave so beautifully." My dad would look at them sideways and say, "Lucky? What makes you think luck had anything to do with it?" My son does and always has behaved himself in public and at home. He was raised to understand the right way to conduct himself. It's all he knows, and it's what is normal for him. He has 2 half brothers who have not been brought up this way, and he barely tolerates being around them. It embarrasses him. Why parents are so oblivious to their own kids behavior is really beyond me. It's just inexcusable.
See, you're not alone, Lon!!

[Beth]

Well, I do both agree and disagree, I agree that there are some horrid kids, but I don't believe that spanking is the correct way to go for all people. It only made my kids rebel more. I was always frazzled, always having to chase my hyperactive kids, stressing that they behave. I was a nervous wreck. If I had it to do over again, I might have let them run a little, not to tear up a place, but just not stress over what other people may think of the way my kids behave if they are seen and heard, rather than silent angels.

Now, I do agree that some people just do not seem to be mannered or polite anymore and lack respect of other people's property, that will often be reflected in the children. Some kids learn the parents don't care if they cause damage so they do it because it is ok. But I don't think that all parents who have children that do such things are the vile people I mentioned.

If a child messes with my stuff, I tell them to leave it alone first nicely, then meanly. If a child is too loud, I do the same. If my child is mucking with my property or someone elses' and ignores my requests, I get onto them, often not very nice, regardless if it pisses the parent off. I just never touch the child, threaten the child, or insult or degrade the child. I tell the kids they are commiting a crime and they need to behave and quit vandalizing. Younger children usually are intimidated by a sharp, "no!". The older guys, though, I do threaten the police on them.

[mominiowa]

I beleive I have fairly well behaved kids..(I know I know..I am the MOM) LOL -I was at my wits end with their step-dad..He (by my ruling-wrong or right) can not spank them..he can take away anything that they have, put them in their room, etc. He does not have any children of his own and my X and I have a certain understanding about this..His GF grabbed my daughter and beat her butt - and its my daughter who rarely gets into trouble or opens her mouth in a rude manner.....Anyway -

We devised a plan- I sat them all down and asked with a smile..what r ur favorite things to do after school - Anything from the trampoline to the playstation was said - so I made a list and if they are disrespecting myself, the step-dad, or each other I say...#1 - they have a list with 5 things on it.. You would not beleive how many nights the first week the TV --NEVER came on...In public, when my son acts up - I take him by the arm and whisper, if you raise your voice or ask one more time - you loose all 5. This normally takes care of it...My kids know sign language as I went to school to teach it...they know if I sign to them they are in big trouble..becuase at church - all I have to do its sign...SIT QUIET or SPANKING..LOL Works like charm... - Also - we had a child who - on key would say - oh damn it - or son of a *&^%$# when they were 3- a little vanilla on the tongue works like a charm..and its not child abuse.. we are a registered emergancy home for the state of Iowa - and they approved my method.. no soap, just vanilla!~

What irritates me soooooo much is when a child strikes their parents.. I have never been hit and they will never want to try..that is when a parent needs some serious help-- figure it out or get some help becuase if they think running in the super market is bad wait till they get to high school and not listen......

[February_Stormz]

No Lon, it doesn't sound like something an old fart would say. I agree whole heartedly.

I was, lets say, a firm disciplinarian and have never looked back and regretted it. My daughter has actually told me on several occasions that I was a great parent when she was growing up.

The sad thing is, she has not followed in my footsteps with this. I watch how she and her husband discipline their 2 1/2 year old son. He is spoiled and knows exactly how to pull the strings with them. He is disciplined with time out which doesn't help. He wines and has tantrums that should be under control, but are not.

I have subtley slipped in some motherly comments, but was mildly told to M.Y.O.B. I hope they don't have hell to pay some day.

[smithy87]

I agree whole heartedly with you Lon and its not just something someone of an older generation would say. I'm 25 and agree with you.

I would never have dreamt behaving that way because I knew my mum would give me 'red legs'. Its a shame people can't discipline their kids thesedays without being in fear of being reported by some do-gooder.

Giving your child slapped legs and beating/abusing are two totally diferent things.


Because some children are not brought up with discipline, they won't install it in their children and so on.

[nvalleyvee]

Originally Posted by Lon

Letting 3, 4, 5, & 6 year olds run amuck must be in vougue now amongst the 30 something moms & dads. While getting a haircut this AM, I watched as three kids literally tear the joint apart while mom was having her nails done. Kids swinging on the front door, throwing scissors, screaming, yelling & tearing up magazines. No attempt by mom to control them at all. This doesn't seem to be a unique situation as I recently observed similar behavior by Asian families.
My kids would have been told to sit in a chair and read a book or mag and keep quiet, and they would comply or get swatted on the butt with a rolled up newspaper. I know that with the "Time Out Crap" that modern day parents like to use (but don't) that my raising of kids is old fashioned & archaic, but it sure worked. I noticed that with my grand kids, they were disiplined somewhere between what is in vougue today and the more strict way I raised their parents. Teenagers are tough enough to rear and if they haven't learned some disipline and had some controls by their teens, woe be unto the parents. As a general observation from this septuagenarian, I credit much of todays problems with youth as stemming from a lack of disipline and controls at the earlier ages. Now, doesn't that sound like something and old fart would say?

I agree with you TOTALLY. I was sitting my 5 year old niece and she was so disrepectful, I told her to put her nose in the corner. She told me - I hate you Auntie - and I told her I didn't like her very much either for her behaviour. Her Mom came home and put her on a "time out" bench in the middle of the living room - in front of a TV that had cartoons playing! My niece stuck her tongue out at me and I told her that didn't fly in my camp and I was going to be sitting her for a long time to come. Needless to say, my niece and I share a close relationship to this day because she knows she can't get away with #### with me.