Is Spanking a Justified Way of Child Discipline

[polycarp]

Children will always be children hence are prone to commit one wrong doing or the other. The question I'm asking is, is spanking an ideal way of training a child. Is there any wrong doing that worth spanking a child? Opinions please!

[buttercup]

my kids are 19, 17, 16 & i have never hit any of them, if your children can make you lose it to the extent you have to hit them, they've won

[abbey]

As i dont have any children i guess i'm not really qualified to answer this,
but in my opinion i dont think children should be smacked.
I grew up never being spanked by my parents, they did'nt need to,
just one meaningful look from either one of them was more than enough to set me straight!
I know there's no comparison, but i would'nt even smack my dog.

I have very strict criteria for using the rod to discipline my children. There is a long process for it and it's based on levels of wrong doing. No one action results in corporal punishment in my home.

First, its not punishment, its correction. Second, it is reserved for willfull and open disobedience. When my child understands the actions they take, and choose to take it knowing full well its a wrong action. Third it does not come until full training has been accomplished for that action.

My method. I use a small diameter wooden dowel, it is administered only on the cheeks of the bottom, I give three, my child is required to submit into a position that keeps them from flailing around so I don't miss. I never administer the spanking in anger. I don't discipline my children in anger at all, under any circumstances.

I have three children, Only one has ever recieved a 'spankin' None of the others have ever challanged me enough to get one.

I have worked at getting my childrens' hearts. long hours of talking, encouraging, spending time with them, training, nurturing and having open fun times with them.

Spanking is only a small part of total child training, a very small part.

Get your childs heart, and you have a son or daughter that will respect you and your advice when they are older.

Words of wisdom from my father, 'correct the attitude when it first starts, and you will rarely have to correct undesired behavior.'

Thanks for letting me rant.

Far.

We have spanked our daughter before but that is our last resort.. We try everything else first. She hasn't gotten one in quite a while. She has been being good. We hate spanking.. Usually she gets it in one of her hands. Every now and then on her butt. I was spanked as a child and so was my husband. Heck my mother came after me with a broom! There is a difference between spanking and beating a child. Beating is when you leave marks. We have NEVER left a mark on her. Lately when she gets in trouble (if she does) she has been in time out for one minute per her age. (She is 4) That has been working..

[Accountable]

Originally Posted by buttercup

my kids are 19, 17, 16 & i have never hit any of them, if your children can make you lose it to the extent you have to hit them, they've won

WOO HOO!
I had no idea I was such a prolific winner! And at such a young age too!

And to those who have never made it to the spanking line:

[Lon]

Originally Posted by polycarp

Children will always be children hence are prone to commit one wrong doing or the other. The question I'm asking is, is spanking an ideal way of training a child. Is there any wrong doing that worth spanking a child? Opinions please!

A spanking (not beating) and a instantaneous swat sends a quick and clear message to a youngster and does no permanent damage to them physically or emotionally. There are hundreds of thousands of well adjusted seniors that will attest to that.

[Lon]

Originally Posted by buttercup

my kids are 19, 17, 16 & i have never hit any of them, if your children can make you lose it to the extent you have to hit them, they've won

You are assuming that a parent is angry when they spank or swat a child.

[anastrophe]

i think i received a swat on my bottom once while growing up. i was perhaps six or seven.

there had been torrential rains, and we had driven past a nearby creek, which was roiling with water up to the banks. it was scary, thrilling, fascinating, as i'd played down in the creeks many times, catching water skeeters and tadpoles etc..

When we got home, i nonchalantly put on my raincoat and went out to 'the backyard'. ostensibly. what i really did was go in the backyard and then slip out the side gate, and walk a block and a half to the creek. i never went near it - the creek bisected an adjacent block of houses, near a four-way intersection. i stood on the far side of the intersection just watching the torrents go by.

Suddenly, our VW bus appeared, and there was my dad motioning to me to get in. we drove home silently, and - well, i think he gave me a swat when we got home. or maybe i went and hid behind a desk fearing that he'd swat me. i actually don't remember for sure. that was the only time that physical punishment was ever part of the plan as a child.

my mom slapped me on the face once when i was a teenager and expressed my rebellious teenage feelings towards her with a string of expletives. i certainly deserved that one.

so, my personal ramblings aside, i think that swatting or spanking is certainly a legitimate tool - *if it is a tool of last resort*. the parents i see who swat their child on the butt because they're not walking fast enough, or crying, or fussing - well, i'd like to swat the parent on the butt myself. when it becomes routine, then it's not correction, it's simply abuse.

[buttercup]

Originally Posted by Lon

You are assuming that a parent is angry when they spank or swat a child.

oh im not saying that at all, im saying there are other ways to disipline children
why would you smack them? valid question