Seriously depressed

[babygirl]

Hi i know some of you must be thinking what baby gril depressed well yes she is i have just gone through a sticky break up with my partner where i got beaten for nearly 3 years, then he got away with it in court and then i found out i was pregnant he did not know and came and put me in hospital for calling the police on him i lost the baby(which he finally got 8 years for), and in the bommings i have just lost my uncle, and have had to take charge of my family, and to make things worse i got a knock on my door from a member of my ex's family and a punch to follow. I can not eat i cannot sleep, will i ever get through this? will things get better or will i always be living in fear?? any help or advice from you guys??

[minks]

Originally Posted by babygirl

Hi i know some of you must be thinking what baby gril depressed well yes she is i have just gone through a sticky break up with my partner where i got beaten for nearly 3 years, then he got away with it in court and then i found out i was pregnant he did not know and came and put me in hospital for calling the police on him i lost the baby(which he finally got 8 years for), and in the bommings i have just lost my uncle, and have had to take charge of my family, and to make things worse i got a knock on my door from a member of my ex's family and a punch to follow. I can not eat i cannot sleep, will i ever get through this? will things get better or will i always be living in fear?? any help or advice from you guys??

Oh good lord dear girl yes get out go away from there, find a safe place to be. You have the strength to admit the problems now get you away to safety, even if it means a womans shelter. Lean on your friends huh, and the good family members. Just don't feel like you are alone. Gosh come on over here and I will put you up. (if only it were that easy) You do not deserve this awful treatment.

[mominiowa]

Ohhh Girl-- Be safe and strong....A person makes it through anything they set their minds too.. You need to reach out to family and friends that will stand beside you, that will make you laugh, that will let you once again enjoy life! Be strong for your Uncles sake but yet be tender to your feelings also.. You are hurting and you have EVERY right to feel sad, betrayed, and anger...but don't let it destroy your life sweetie..Be strong! Try and seperate the "bad" from your life- and surround it with the "good!" I will be thinking of you.Chin up!

[Betty Boop]

Oh my Babygirl, I'm so sorry you've been through all this.
I'm sure things will get better, although it doesn't feel that way right now.
Do you have any supprt from DIVA or any other womens domestic violence group (not entirely sure if DIVA is nationwide). They are brilliant and will give you counselling.
You won't always live in fear, in time the situation will cool, and the exes friends and family will leave you alone. Just always remind yourself that you're better off without them if this is the way they see fit to behave.

Sincere condolences to you and your family regarding your Uncle.

[BabyRider]

Oh sh!t, babygirl. Am I understanding this right? You opened your door to find a member of your ex's family and they punched you???!! Did you call the cops?
Listen, you know about my story, I've told you in emails. That abuse ended years ago and there is no more fear. It took a long time, and you are just starting the healing, so you have to give it time. It takes as long as it takes. There will come a point, I promise, where you aren't afraid anymore. You will get angry, and you can use that anger to make yourself stronger. Control IT, don't let it consume you.
I am SO glad to hear the SOB finally got time for what he did. It's small comfort but it does help. My own psycho never did a day of time.
There's other things you can do, we have talked about this. I am wondering if you've looked into any self-defense classes. I know you're out in the boonies where things like this aren't readily available, but they ARE there, you just have to find them. Maybe someone on your side of the pond knows more.
You will be amazed what a high-energy defense class does for your self-esteem, and your belief in your own strength. Even if you don't get to put it to use, it makes a big difference knowing you can defend yourself if you need to. And kicking the snot out of a heavy bag, or an instructor is EXTREMELY liberating.
I hate to keep drilling the defense classes into your head, but I really do believe they are a great form of therapy.
Give yourself the time to go through the healing. The depression is normal, the fear is normal. Just keep remembering that there are things you can do to help yourself. Talking about it is one of the best, too. Everyone here is pulling for you. Me especially. xoxoxo

[nvalleyvee]

Dang - I'm sorry to hear about the crap you've been through - and sympathy for your loss. Do you have any guy friends - big strong ones - that could come and stay with you for a little while? Buy a stun gun or pepper spray and have it in your hand every time you open the door. I did that when I was divorcing an abusive man.

[cars]

Originally Posted by babygirl

Hi i know some of you must be thinking what baby gril depressed well yes she is i have just gone through a sticky break up with my partner where i got beaten for nearly 3 years, then he got away with it in court and then i found out i was pregnant he did not know and came and put me in hospital for calling the police on him i lost the baby(which he finally got 8 years for), and in the bommings i have just lost my uncle, and have had to take charge of my family, and to make things worse i got a knock on my door from a member of my ex's family and a punch to follow. I can not eat i cannot sleep, will i ever get through this? will things get better or will i always be living in fear?? any help or advice from you guys??

Wow, sorry to hear your sad situation. As others have already said it will eventually get better, they're right it will. (Take it from an old timer, it will)
As far as your door, have a door chain installed, it olnly allows the door to open two inches before you undo the chain, if you choose to do so. It will protect you against some idiots punch! Don't give up, it can only get better, Good luck & best wishes!!!

Well for sure were adding this to the prayer list! Second, lets get you armed with the right stuff and third lets get you some training on how to be one bad a** momma!

Then the next crazy family member that steps up to you will think twice when he brings back a bloody body part!

Baby, Get mean, you have to at this point. Go get an air horn keep it with you in your car and next to your door, keep aerosol cans of hair spray next to your door, bug sprays work good too, preferably the kind that shoot in a stream, like wasp sprays. You will need kids baseball bat, like for T-ball.. they are shorter and you can swing them better in tight quarters

Heres the good part, all that will set you back less than $20bucks.

Now get so mad that you can bash soemone head in if they so much as look at you cross eyed!

Hope you get the idea its time to fight back.

[Peg]

If you are letting your ex and his family get you down, you are letting him win again. You are giving them control of your feelings. It finally got to the point with my ex, that I knew one of us was going to die, and I resolved it wasn't going to be me. Stay strong, be aware of your surroundings at all time, and don't let fear control your life. Carry whatever neccessary with you to protect yourself at all times. Do not take their phone calls, do not let them in. If neccessary, get a restraining order. Did you report his relative to the police? It takes a while, but it DOES get easier.

[lady cop]

write to me Angel, i want to talk to you about this punching business. you know i'm here for you. we need to discuss self-defense and keeping safe. love you honey.