Medical Reasons for Abortion

[TenneseeGirl]

A friend of mine recently found out she was pregnant. My first reaction was "Congrats!". Then she informed me that she most likely conceived when her husband was doing his shot regimant for the army. This included the small pox vaccine. She has already spoken with her husband in Iraq and they have deceided to abort the child for fear of any severe complications. I was just wondering what you all thought of this? Are those of you whom are anti abortion opposed to this as well even though the complications can be severe to the mother?

I will be at the clinic with her when she goes in. I know how difficult it is to make the choice. I also know you need a support system. She has chosen not to tell her parents because they are in the I want grandbabies mode. I would like to encourage her to talk to them before the fact. But i am not sure how. What do you suggest?

[nvalleyvee]

My cousin - your second cousin - has had two kids after Gulf War that have major problems from his military innoculations.

[abbey]

What implications are there for the baby if she carried it?

[orangesox1]

Originally Posted by abbey

What implications are there for the baby if she carried it?

I think she really needs to look into that first, surley they can run some tests to find out if something is wrong. Also abortion caused a lot of problems for my sister who was RH negative. she lost two babies after because of it and then concieved twins, one had blood transfusions through the umbilical cord while she was carrying it, both twins lived.

I am not anti abortion for medical reasons, but I would be asking a lot of Qs before I went ahead with it.

[SOJOURNER]

It is so much easier to view this question on abortion when you are not one of the parents to be.

Babies seem to come to us either with the greatest of joy and anticipation or with shock, fear and trepidation.

It is very easy for those on the "outside" to give an opinion, it is another to have to live out that opinion. A complicated pregnancy and bearing a handicapped child is not just a decision about the new life ready to be born, it is a decision that will have its emotional, spiritual and financial impact on the whole family, and beyond.

In a "perfect world" we would all have the capacity to live out our highest ideals, but in the reality of this world, not everyone is up to that challenge.

It saddens me that your friend has to face this difficult time without her husband to comfort and support her. She is very lucky to have you to lean on for support during this difficult time.

Before I was married and had children of my own, my views were very black and white. This is right. This is wrong. I have since learned that life comes to us with a lot of gray. I am no longer sure it is "right" to legislate values on other people. I personally am still very much against using abortion as a birth control. However, I now do believe there are situations that warrent a termination and only those who must live with the results of that decision are qualified to make that decision.

[Accountable]

Originally Posted by SOJOURNER

[...]Before I was married and had children of my own, my views were very black and white. This is right. This is wrong. I have since learned that life comes to us with a lot of gray. I am no longer sure it is "right" to legislate values on other people. I personally am still very much against using abortion as a birth control. However, I now do believe there are situations that warrent a termination and only those who must live with the results of that decision are qualified to make that decision.

I am adamant that it is wrong to legislate values on other people. I am just as adamant that it is wrong to abort a baby because it might have problems. I agree that the decision belongs to the parents, both parents. I don't believe I could support a friend's decision to abort for any reason at all. I would not be there for her in such an instance. Granted, I have no firsthand experience.

[jasmund]

She needs to speak to her physician first, and get a second opinion quickly, time runs out. Where I live abortions are not legally performed after the first trimester.
Personally , when I was younger I was probably THE most against abortion in the world!!!!(I was placed in an orphanage, )At least I was loved that much, to be given a chance.If I had been aborted, My lil son would not be here today.

-However, since I have worked in various positions in the medical field, I have seen many horrors. A man who just came out of prison for molesting both daughters.After 7 years in prison, he now was fully rehabilitated,(yeah right) and
this individual was 17 her dad was out 1 week and raped, yep you guessed it she was pregnant. She came to us telling her dad that she couldnt stop her period, smart girl! She told me what was going on when I was drawing her blood, I alerted the Dr. We both spoke to her in the exam room, and made notes of bruised etc. And even though this Dr. was a jerk, he called the police and they arrested him in the office. (Booo ya!) She chose an abortion, and suffered extremem depression, because she was concerned with issues of religion.

It is that persons choice. But in this case I think second and third opinions are needed. Also, did you know, that you are more likely to birth a child with some type of virus or serious problem, than a completely normal baby. Yep , just read it in one of the medical mags at work, my son was born with strep, and grunting, and sleep apnea, and I didnt so much as take a tylenol. And I didnt have strep.
And I read every label for nine months of what I ingested.
-
Ask her, Lets say she has the baby, ok, and everythings all wonderful, shes bonding ,dads bonding and gram and gramps are bonding, and then, something comes up , problems with her heart, etc. would she want to just destroy the baby.
Because to some , thats the same thing, to others it's not.

I will pray for peace of heart and mind for them.

-You are a very good friend to her. Be strong, and let us know, god bless you all.
Jasmund

ps. sorry so long.

[LilacDragon]

When I was pregnant with my son, one of the tests that I took said that there was a chance that my child had Trisome 18. While I can't tell you all of the medical reasons for this, I can tell you what I was told.

A Trisome 18 baby is "not compatible with life" is the way my doctor put it. They usually die within hours of birth, have major deformities and very little brain function. After consulting with a genetics specialist, it was decided that abortion would be the best option, depending on the results of the fancy ultrasound that we had scheduled for that afternoon.

Fortunately, he was perfect in the ultrasound and the decision was moot. He is a perfectly wonderful (and typically irritating) 7 year old now.

It saddens me, Accountable, that you would deny a friend comfort during a difficult time because they made a decision that you didn't agree with. Having to make this decision, when the child is very much wanted can be devastating and friends are very important in times like this.

[ubetta]

Originally Posted by TenneseeGirl

A friend of mine recently found out she was pregnant. My first reaction was "Congrats!". Then she informed me that she most likely conceived when her husband was doing his shot regimant for the army. This included the small pox vaccine. She has already spoken with her husband in Iraq and they have deceided to abort the child for fear of any severe complications. I was just wondering what you all thought of this? Are those of you whom are anti abortion opposed to this as well even though the complications can be severe to the mother?

I will be at the clinic with her when she goes in. I know how difficult it is to make the choice. I also know you need a support system. She has chosen not to tell her parents because they are in the I want grandbabies mode. I would like to encourage her to talk to them before the fact. But i am not sure how. What do you suggest?

I'm for her speaking with her parents beforehand but she knows them better than I do. I know how I would react and would want to be there with my daughter, if not when she goes for the operation, then at least before and after. I would want to know what I'm dealing with and not be in the dark...that would disturb me. It would hurt me to know she didn't trust me or needed help to get over the "guilt" of aborting "my" grandchild when the most important thing to me is HER. I would want the oportunity to let her know that in advance.
But. That's me.

[Accountable]

Originally Posted by LilacDragon

[...]
It saddens me, Accountable, that you would deny a friend comfort during a difficult time because they made a decision that you didn't agree with. Having to make this decision, when the child is very much wanted can be devastating and friends are very important in times like this.

I'm there for my friend right up until the decision is made. I will not sit with a friend while she kills herself (say, by shooting up heroine) and I will not sit and support murdering a baby. I would be there for her when she comes out of the hospital, if she decides the friendship is still viable.