Being an insomniac

[nvalleyvee]

Got the can't sleeps here. It happens every once in a while. I guess a little insomnia is good for the soul every now and then. It's like the brain says - nothing is wrong - you just need to not sleep. I already called into work. I have these days - nights - every 2 weeks or so. It is like my body gets a second wind and I'm off for another 6 hours. Sometimes I think it's because I hate my dreams and don't want to go to sleep. Have any of you had the "vivid" dream thing? What about re-occuring dreams. Sometimes the night is not a friendly place to sleep.

It seems like there is something that needs to be "worked" out in my brain and the only way to do it is through sleep deprivation. Do you think that could be the conscious and subconscious talking? That sounded really whacked. Perhaps I need to go back to some meditation.

I was thinking today that I really have a difficult time substitute teaching some classes because they are so loud and have so much disrespect for me. I am starting to get headaches. I haven't had headaches in 24 years. Perhaps I CHOSE BADLY. Then I get a class that really benifits from me being there. PERHAPS I CHOSE WISELY.

My garden did not do well this year (damned beet leafhoppers) and I am upset I could not can the vegies as I wanted. I'm still hoping for last minute tomatoes. I know that sounds stupid but it gives me a sense of fullfillment to take my garden to my pantry.

My best friend is going to die of lung cancer. I'm going to chemo with her because she was my ROCK when I had breast cancer. Thanks for ALL of your prayers FG. I KNOW they will help. I love you all so much.

My SIL is going on his first mission in Iraq - thanks Far for your letter to him and my daughter - this went much better than the last one. I get scared he will be killed - he is so young, just 22 and one of the "old" guys. I cannot even imagine being put into a situation of being shot at with bullets that could kill. I am not sure I support this war but I DO SUPPORT HIM.

I love my husband - so very dearly - he is the friend, lover and the ass-hole I thought I would never have in my life. I was alone for most of my life and he has given me humor, strength, friendship, love and a whole world of caring. I wish this kind of relationship on all my friends.

That is all for tonight.......