paddy's son

[Carl44]

Originally Posted by Imladris

Such sad news Jim, tell Paddy that we'll be thinking of him and his family.

Carry on being a good mate to him, he will appreciate it - so many people don't know how to handle death so they stay away from the bereaved.

i gal you are wise as always
when natasha passed away good friends crossed the road rather than talk to me some people just dont know what to say , i would say the hurt of being ignored far out ways any thing wrong they could of said

paddy and dawn my friends with cancer both say when it comes out that they have it people stop touching them , you cant catch it like that i wondered why people do that

when i first met paddy i shook his hand and after i knew him for a while he said that people stopped touching him and me doing that meant a lot to him dawn said the same thing

Such sad news.. My hearts goes out to the family.. You might want to give him a call- you might the person he really needs to talk too. Prayers going out to you and your friends family.

Jimbo I am thinking of you at this time...

[Peg]

How truly sad for your friend. He is lucky to have a friend in you Jimbo.

[CARLA]

Paddy is in my prayers this will be a rough time for sure.

[Imladris]

Originally Posted by jimbo

i gal you are wise as always
when natasha passed away good friends crossed the road rather than talk to me some people just dont know what to say , i would say the hurt of being ignored far out ways any thing wrong they could of said

paddy and dawn my friends with cancer both say when it comes out that they have it people stop touching them , you cant catch it like that i wondered why people do that

when i first met paddy i shook his hand and after i knew him for a while he said that people stopped touching him and me doing that meant a lot to him dawn said the same thing

It frustrates me when people say that they don't know what to say to the bereaved - I tell them to say that!!

Just tell them that you don't know what to say or do to help them but that you're thinking of them. The thing most people want is the chance to talk and have someone listen, often about the same thing over and over again but without someone else saying 'I know what you mean, when this happened to me......' - when you've just lost a person you care for you don't care about other people's experiences you just care about your own.

You know all this Jimbo, you've experienced this yourself, you know that just a thought or a hug can mean so much so I am sure that you will help Paddy just by being his friend. but don't feel bad about being happy that you've been to see your daughter - Paddy will be pleased for you, he might find it hard to show it but he will.

[Carl44]

Originally Posted by Imladris

It frustrates me when people say that they don't know what to say to the bereaved - I tell them to say that!!

Just tell them that you don't know what to say or do to help them but that you're thinking of them. The thing most people want is the chance to talk and have someone listen, often about the same thing over and over again but without someone else saying 'I know what you mean, when this happened to me......' - when you've just lost a person you care for you don't care about other people's experiences you just care about your own.

You know all this Jimbo, you've experienced this yourself, you know that just a thought or a hug can mean so much so I am sure that you will help Paddy just by being his friend. but don't feel bad about being happy that you've been to see your daughter - Paddy will be pleased for you, he might find it hard to show it but he will.

paddy did say last time i spoke to him that he was glad i was going to see Chantalle and he really meant it , when my girl Natasha died i had to go and get some money off of a guy for work I'd done when i got there he ushered his young daughter out of the room , when i asked him why he said he thought it would be painful for me to see other kids , i told him not to be so silly i love kids its strange the way peoples minds work when faced with the unthinkable for them
dawns husband mick took me to one side last time i saw them and said dawn has had bad news ,i went right up to her hugged her and said sorry to hear things are not going so well for you now give me a hug
mick also said when he is at the hospital with dawn getting her chemo treatment he always finds the time to talk to the other husbands and tells them what to expect and they are always very grateful for they don't like to ask and unless you have been through it you don't feel like you can tell any one , mick also feels that its a two way street by helping others dealing with this you also don't feel so alone and in turn you feel better , this was the way i felt with paddy about his child's death , and when paddy is ready we will talk and i will help out all i can , you must have a lot of experience in this field i gal i just know you must help out a lot of people with your kind comforting words you have definitely made me feel loads better on more than one occasion
thanks buddy

[K.Snyder]

I'm sorry to hear that.

So sad Jimbo
Love & best wishes to the family

[beautifulben'smum]

Hello Jim, so sad to read your news. My heart goes out to Paddy, I know how hard it must be for him. I pray his son is in a better place now and at peace.

My son Ben is 15 too. He will be 16 2 days before Christmas, if he makes it to then. He is deteriorating very quickly now. The type of brain tumour he has is very cruel - it is slowly taking away all his abilities. He can now barely walk or talk and soon will not be able to swallow at all. However, we have still managed to have a laugh today, putting up the Christmas Decorations and decorating Ben's wheelchair with tinsel. It is amazing how you manage to still find joy in things. At the moment I do not worry about Ben dying, because I know he will then no longer be suffering and that will be such a relief.

Keep that sense of humour going, mine keeps surfacing every now and then, I'm very pleased to say.

Take care

Julie