And this too shall pass

[scholle-kid]

Originally Posted by K.Snyder

Just know that they both knew you loved them...They both loved you as well...What's left is knowing that they'd want you to celebrate their lives and always know that they loved you and how they'd want you to realize how much they loved you...

My oldest son told me a couple of months after my daughter ,his sister passed away that never once at any time did any of the 3 of them ever have to 'question' my love for them. He was 24 at the time and belive me ,I felt like I had won the mom of the year award to hear those words coming from my grown son.
As for my brother , we have always been very close, we shared a horrible childhood (5 step mothers ) and learned very early to depend on each other for just about any kind of support a child could need when there are no adults around that cared much about us .
so the question of the love I had for either of them of vicea versa has never been an issue.

[K.Snyder]

Originally Posted by scholle-kid

My oldest son told me a couple of months after my daughter ,his sister passed away that never once at any time did any of the 3 of them ever have to 'question' my love for them. He was 24 at the time and belive me ,I felt like I had won the mom of the year award to hear those words coming from my grown son.
As for my brother , we have always been very close, we shared a horrible childhood (5 step mothers ) and learned very early to depend on each other for just about any kind of support a child could need when there are no adults around that cared much about us .
so the question of the love I had for either of them of vicea versa has never been an issue.

Of course it hasn't. ...

[scholle-kid]

Originally Posted by K.Snyder

Of course it hasn't. ...

I want to apologize for my reply to your post telling me to "just know they loved me "
I did not stop to think before I posted my reply, I know you didn't mean to say I didn't know or they didn't know the love we felt . sometimes when the subject of my brothers passing comes up I don't think before I 'open my mouth 'or in this caes type a reply . the greif and anger is still something I have not yet gotten a firm grip on.
It took several months of therapy for me to 'get a grip' about my daughters passing and it my yake a few more months of therapy for me to get passed the anger over my brothers passing . I'm not sure who I'm angry at, not my brother , he didn't want to pass away, I'm not religious.
so it's not god I'm angry at, I just seem to be angry.

[K.Snyder]

Originally Posted by scholle-kid

the greif and anger is still something I have not yet gotten a firm grip on.

I don't think anyone could to be honest...I think the only real thing anyone can do is to outweigh that with celebrating the lives they'd lived and to always keep in mind that they knew you loved them at the same to know how much they'd loved you...

Originally Posted by scholle-kid

so it's not god I'm angry at, I just seem to be angry.

Completely understandable...

[Littletenderness]

Originally Posted by scholle-kid

I want to apologize for my reply to your post telling me to "just know they loved me "
I did not stop to think before I posted my reply, I know you didn't mean to say I didn't know or they didn't know the love we felt . sometimes when the subject of my brothers passing comes up I don't think before I 'open my mouth 'or in this caes type a reply . the greif and anger is still something I have not yet gotten a firm grip on.
It took several months of therapy for me to 'get a grip' about my daughters passing and it my yake a few more months of therapy for me to get passed the anger over my brothers passing . I'm not sure who I'm angry at, not my brother , he didn't want to pass away, I'm not religious.
so it's not god I'm angry at, I just seem to be angry.

You know, since Laura's death I have come to realise that there are really only a handfull of people in our lives that we truly love. We may embrace many others and spend our life in a large community and have some fantastic friends, but we don't really love them deeply.

When one of those few people that you truly love dies it destroys your very soul and often takes with it so much of the faith and trust you hadn't realised you had built up with the world. Suddenly everything you hold dear has gone and the anger you have is basically at the world for taking away the future,the past and making the present such a terrible place to wake up too. I know because I face it as well every morning

[scholle-kid]

Originally Posted by Littletenderness

You know, since Laura's death I have come to realise that there are really only a handfull of people in our lives that we truly love. We may embrace many others and spend our life in a large community and have some fantastic friends, but we don't really love them deeply.

When one of those few people that you truly love dies it destroys your very soul and often takes with it so much of the faith and trust you hadn't realised you had built up with the world. Suddenly everything you hold dear has gone and the anger you have is basically at the world for taking away the future,the past and making the present such a terrible place to wake up too. I know because I face it as well every morning

Yes, you are so right.
About realizing how a person comes to realize the number of people that is truely loved ones and how many are friends that you care for .
And on the flip side of that ,it's sad to have to say , some of those people that were thought to be close and loved friends turn out to be fair weather friends, there was a person I had been 'best' friends with for over 15 years we had shared the pain of her divorce ,the joy of her youngest sons birth ,the joy of my marriiage, and her remarriage, she was always the one I called when anything went right and when things wasn't so rigjht and same for her we shared many years of 'freindship '
until my Verna's death ,it was like she couldn't handel my pain and I couldn't hjde it, she told me that when I could become that person that had been her friend all those years again, to give her a call but until then she couldn't stand to see what I had become. We haven't spoke in almost 6 years and it will be 7 years in October that Verna has been gone.
I never could find the words to explaine how I could never again be that person that I was before my Verna's passing left this huge empty place where she use to fill . Yes when you lose someone as close as one of your children you do realize that the ones you truely love and that return that love are few and so they become so much more special and dear.