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[Angels4me]

Hi. I am new here. On April 24, 2005, I lost my husband and my twin girls (15 mos.) to a house fire. I was not at home. I blame myself everyday for not being there to rescue my girls and my man. Now at 22, I am all alone. Both of my parents are deceased and I am an only child. I am so lost and confused and angry. Can anyone offer me some guidance? I don't need pity-I get enough of that. Thank you.

[orangesox1]

Originally Posted by Angels4me

Hi. I am new here. On April 24, 2005, I lost my husband and my twin girls (15 mos.) to a house fire. I was not at home. I blame myself everyday for not being there to rescue my girls and my man. Now at 22, I am all alone. Both of my parents are deceased and I am an only child. I am so lost and confused and angry. Can anyone offer me some guidance? I don't need pity-I get enough of that. Thank you.

Well your not alone anymore cause we're always here in the Garden. I assume you have had counselling over your loss, so any thing that we say you have probably heard already. If you have no one to talk to to get things of your chest, you should find a grief and loss group as the people have been through what you are going through.

I hope we see you on line often, as having light hearted chit chat can take your mind of things, untill you are able to better focus and come to terms with what has happened, which may take some time.

[Accountable]

Originally Posted by Angels4me

Hi. I am new here. On April 24, 2005, I lost my husband and my twin girls (15 mos.) to a house fire. I was not at home. I blame myself everyday for not being there to rescue my girls and my man. Now at 22, I am all alone. Both of my parents are deceased and I am an only child. I am so lost and confused and angry. Can anyone offer me some guidance? I don't need pity-I get enough of that. Thank you.

Okay, no pity.

Stand up & look at the mirror. That person looking at you must be your very best friend. She may not be now, but you can't get rid of her so you have to change her. That means praise when she deserves it, hugs when she needs it, and a kick in the pants when she starts wallowing in self-pity (that last one might be difficult unless you take yoga).

You have a huge wound that is very fresh; it will take a long time to heal. That can't be rushed; get professional help with your grief (I'm swallowing a whole paragraph because you don't want pity).

As good as best friends are, their never quite enough. Your family is gone; build another one. Appreciate the privilege of being able to interview for the different positions and be picky. Only allow family members you can respect and who will give it to you straight. These are the people to reinforce the weak areas of your very best friend, so at least a couple of them should be willing to kick you in the pants, should you be too stiff from yoga class to do it yourself.

Allow yourself to laugh. Allow yourself to love. Allow yourself to grieve.

Allow others to feel bad for you. Sometimes that's all they can offer.


There it is. This is a good place to heal. When you're ready, we'd love to hear stories of your parents, husband, & kids.

[chonsigirl]

Hello Angel. You should not blame yourself for something that is not your fault. It takes time for your heart to heal from such a devastating loss, come here to FG with all of us to talk about everything. Talking will help you some, and we will listen.

[PurpleChicken]

AC - such good advice, not sure what else to add!!!

Welcome to FG, Angel. You've come to the right place - there's plenty of support and friendship here. Hopefully it can help you heal, move on, or just take away your troubles. Feel free to vent, to chat or to ask our opinion. We are always willing to listen.

Welcome to the FG family!

Hi & welcome here! I am sure you'll find some great advice and friends here. Good luck to you!

Howdy Angel... sit back relax and enjoy the garden atmosphere...

I'll treat you like I treat the rest of the folks here... since you're a lady that means I'll flirt wiith you!

So go to the pub... and a bunch of folks will buy you a virtual drink...and we can get to know you.

Tell us about yourself, whatcha like and dont like.... we'll start bt just being your friend.

[greydeadhead]

Hey Angel...
Welcome to the gardens... lots of very cool people hanging around so jump in the pool and post away. nice to have you here...
have a great day....

[Clint]

You can blame yourself for a while. It’s allowed in the grieving process. You can’t go on blaming yourself though…that isn’t healthy. I think it is very important that you get counseling. A good counselor will be able to let you know if you are moving forward and healing or not. You really need that objective view. Without it you could easily slip into a very dangerous state of mind. I think Accountable’s advice is great.

[Honneykit]

Hi there and welcome you will love it here everyone is so nice.