My Best Friend Passed Away

[nok]

I miss my best friend so much. He was not just my best friend, he was also the only friend that I had. Many people don't want to be my friend and avoid me because they say that I'm fat, short and ugly. They say they're ashamed to be with me because I'm so ugly. Anyway, Larry wasn't like that. We met 5 years ago, through the internet. He found me on a Catholic Friendship website and e-mailed me, asking to be my friend. A few e-mails later, he asked to have dinner with me. I knew it was risky, meeting a complete stranger like that, but me being so lonely and everything, I decided to take that risk. It's a risk that I've never regretted.

He was the nicest, kindest, gentlest, most compassionate person that I've evr met in my entire life. He was very charming and never acted like he was ashamed to be with me. He never mentioned that I was ugly. He asked to see me again. We went sightseeing a week after our first meeting. He asked me out again. This time, we went to the movies. We became great friends.

He e-mailed me every day, called me up on the phone once a week to see how I was doing and sent me several cards on various holidays ( Christmas, Valentine's Day, my birthday, etc. ) . whenever I had a problem, he would always listent patiently and gave me great advice.

The friendship lasted for five years. It was the best 5 years of my life. For once in my life, I didn't feel like I was alone in this world. He was a loyal friend. His friendship was consistent.

January of this year, he asked me to marry him. We were supposed to get married next year, in February. I was so happy. Then, something happened. The doctors found a tumour on his pancreas. They operated on him. He recovered and went back home. A few days later, he was in severe pain and had to go back into the hospital. The doctors found a fluid buildup in his lungs and they didn't know where it was coming from. His urine was bright red. He had to be put on a respirator. He couldn't breathe very well on his own. He passed away on October 6, 2008. His death really shook me up.

I cried a lot and still feel very, very sad. Now, I feel like I am all alone in this world. He was my only friend. I haven't dreamed about him yet and I haven't received any signs or after death communications from him yet but I hope that he will come into my dreams soon. He left this world as my fiance. I will always miss him. I talk to him every day, not knowing whether he can hear me or not.

[SuzyB]

I am so sorry for your loss Nok

It made me sad to read your post, your self estem seems rock bottom, life really is to short to feel so down on yourself. Maybe their is a support group in your area for people who have lost someone, that may be a way to make some more friends, seems as though you need friends now more than ever.

[OpenMind]

Hello, Nok. I'm so sorry to hear of your sad loss of your friend. If you need a shoulder to cry on or someone to talk to, I'm here as are many others who will gladly give you what comfort we can.

You are so very shy but you needn't worry. We can't see what you look like if that is what bothers you nor would it matter to us if you were as ugly as you say. We can only see your words anyway. This forum is about friendship mostly and we come here to share our thoughts and lives with each other.

Welcome to Forum Garden.

[Lenn]

Originally Posted by nok

I haven't dreamed about him yet and I haven't received any signs or after death communications from him yet but I hope that he will come into my dreams soon. He left this world as my fiance. I will always miss him. I talk to him every day, not knowing whether he can hear me or not.

It's very good that you believe in an after death communication. Faith in life after life always helps in such situations. And I assure you that he still exists, in a different way, but he still exists. And he can hear you. Death is not as important moment as we are used to think. I know it from my own experience. You'll see, one day you will be together again.

[jimbo]

grief is a terrible thing ,take your time you wont get over it very quickly but time does heal .the reason your hurting is because your friend meant a lot to you remember that

my friend dawn who died not so long ago , i still cant believe she has gone but life must carry on

[Odie]

Originally Posted by nok

I miss my best friend so much. He was not just my best friend, he was also the only friend that I had. Many people don't want to be my friend and avoid me because they say that I'm fat, short and ugly. They say they're ashamed to be with me because I'm so ugly. Anyway, Larry wasn't like that. We met 5 years ago, through the internet. He found me on a Catholic Friendship website and e-mailed me, asking to be my friend. A few e-mails later, he asked to have dinner with me. I knew it was risky, meeting a complete stranger like that, but me being so lonely and everything, I decided to take that risk. It's a risk that I've never regretted.

He was the nicest, kindest, gentlest, most compassionate person that I've evr met in my entire life. He was very charming and never acted like he was ashamed to be with me. He never mentioned that I was ugly. He asked to see me again. We went sightseeing a week after our first meeting. He asked me out again. This time, we went to the movies. We became great friends.

He e-mailed me every day, called me up on the phone once a week to see how I was doing and sent me several cards on various holidays ( Christmas, Valentine's Day, my birthday, etc. ) . whenever I had a problem, he would always listent patiently and gave me great advice.

The friendship lasted for five years. It was the best 5 years of my life. For once in my life, I didn't feel like I was alone in this world. He was a loyal friend. His friendship was consistent.

January of this year, he asked me to marry him. We were supposed to get married next year, in February. I was so happy. Then, something happened. The doctors found a tumour on his pancreas. They operated on him. He recovered and went back home. A few days later, he was in severe pain and had to go back into the hospital. The doctors found a fluid buildup in his lungs and they didn't know where it was coming from. His urine was bright red. He had to be put on a respirator. He couldn't breathe very well on his own. He passed away on October 6, 2008. His death really shook me up.

I cried a lot and still feel very, very sad. Now, I feel like I am all alone in this world. He was my only friend. I haven't dreamed about him yet and I haven't received any signs or after death communications from him yet but I hope that he will come into my dreams soon. He left this world as my fiance. I will always miss him. I talk to him every day, not knowing whether he can hear me or not.

First, I want to say, welcome!


I can never replace your best friend or would even try. A best friend is forever and means everything to someone, and I am deeply sorry for your loss.

It takes a very long time for the healing process to help you remember him in the good times and bad.......it's okay to cry, its completely normal, you have lost someone that was so special in your life, grieve as you need to. It is special that you do talk to him everyday, he knows your thinking of him

My advise is to see a support group in grieving and just for yourself, to lift your self esteem.

[along-for-the-ride]

My condolences for the loss of your friend, Nok. We are glad that you came here to the Garden and share your grief. Most all of us have lost someone we were very close to.

Please keep coming back to us and post more. We are here for you. We have threads about all topics and value your in-put.

Here's a welcome mat for you.

[Ally]

Deep condolences Nok as everone has said befor me u can come on here anytime and u will always have a friend to talk to,take ur time greiving we have all lost a loved one and everyone is differant but we are all here for u.

[nok]

Thank you to everyone who replied. I really appreciate it and the emotional support that I'm receiving here really means a lot to me. Without it, I would find it hard to carry on with normal life activities.

To be honest with you guys and girls here, I really don't think I can stop grieving for my friend. I think, and have a feeling, that this grieving will last my whole lifetime here. Hopefully, the sadness will decrease over time and what's left will only be happy memories that I shared with Larry.

Right now, I find it extremely difficult to not isolate myself from the outside world , socialize and make new friends as my thoughts ( a lot of them, anyway) are still focusing on my friend whom I lost. I do realise that nothing I can do can bring him back to me. Maybe time will heal this situation and one day, I can be myself again.

[Milly]

It does last forever Nok.... but the pain of losing someone close does get easier to live with....

I lost a dear friend of mine aged just 37 3 years ago..... I still miss him terribly, but being the amazing man he was, stoopid things he would say....silly things he did... his wise words for me when I needed them..... his ability to just know there was something wrong.... all of those things about him still live on... and I'll often smile to myself when I tell myself "What would Paul say?"... which I often do ....

So you see Nok.... those that pass, never quite leave us.... well, not the good ones anyway....

(((HUG))) For you Nok