quick question

[melisten]

is it odd for me to feel 'obligated' as oppose to 'willingness' when asked by an old 'bestfriend' to pitch in for her in her responsibilities? thing is, i've known this friend for like ages, but were apart for practically our whole adult life, and now that we're 'neighbors' so to speak, i don't feel any bond... just starting to realize that we're poles apart and don't share any common interests, not that we have to...am going around circles now so have to stop here...

[Tim Shelley]

Originally Posted by melisten

is it odd for me to feel 'obligated' as oppose to 'willingness' when asked by an old 'bestfriend' to pitch in for her in her responsibilities? thing is, i've known this friend for like ages, but were apart for practically our whole adult life, and now that we're 'neighbors' so to speak, i don't feel any bond... just starting to realize that we're poles apart and don't share any common interests, not that we have to...am going around circles now so have to stop here...

This is a perfectly natural feeling, given the fact you two haven't been close in a long while. The fact that you feel obligated instead of willing is reason enough for you not to bail out your "old best friend". The best way to help someone is to help them help themselves. While sometimes this may seem like you're turning your back on someone in need, bailing this person out does much greater damage in the long run.

Only my opinion. Hope this helps.

[Paula]

Your whole Adult life Apart? That covers alot, No - PDA - Public Display of Affection? IMHO - In my humble opinion, you don't like that person anymore, just say by!

[Bill Sikes]

Originally Posted by melisten

is it odd for me to feel 'obligated' as oppose to 'willingness' when asked by an old 'bestfriend' to pitch in for her in her responsibilities? thing is, i've known this friend for like ages, but were apart for practically our whole adult life, and now that we're 'neighbors' so to speak, i don't feel any bond... just starting to realize that we're poles apart and don't share any common interests, not that we have to...am going around circles now so have to stop here...

I don't think it's odd... however, whether I'd help would depend on what was required, and whether I thought she'd do anything even vaguely similar for me.

[melisten]

thought about this while driving today, it dawned on me that feeling 'obligated' is exactly a welcome feeling so to speak as it is exactly how i feel around family sometimes so i guess it's really a non-issue after all... i do know that with my 'old' friend, have no need for pretenses and not guilt necessary. really appreciate all your thoughts, specially ours tim...point well taken

[ScoupeSlave]

well this is just me... but i let myself get sucked in to help other people way too much (don't worry i am working on this problem) i don't see any harm in helping this person out... I know that when i am going through a rough time i just want to know that i have friends around me that care and support me.... but by no means do anything out of your way to help.... just be there and that will be well appreciated...


-SS