Your Mother

My mom and I aren't so close. We haven't been since I was maybe 10. She always chose my sister over me... actually she still does. Ever since her and my dad divorced when i was 18 she's chosen her new husband over everyone in the family. Her head is so far up his you know what it's pathetic. Don't get me wrong I love her but i don't agree with a lot of things she's done.. and does... Like choosing my sis over me.. and my nephew over my daughter.. It's hurtful and ignorant.

I've learned that i will NEVER be like her in anyway...

I can't change her attitude so why change anything..

Yes she's influenced me in many ways.... I can't be like her... I am there for my daughter, I listen to her, color with her, tell her stories, make up stupid little games just to her smile.. there's a lot of things I do with my daughter that my mom would have never of thought to do with me.

[Patsy Warnick]

My Mother and I were never close - not even friends. My Mother had her favorites out of 6 children, I was not one. I ran away from home when I was 5 yrs. old, so what does that tell you. My Mother was strong and strictand in some ways jealous of me. In the '70s, I went @10 yrs not speaking , writing, acknowledging her.

I allowed my Mother back into my life @ 1990, since I figured I would be left dealing with my feelings if & when she died. We shared time together although there was still tension at times, but I wasn't intimidated by her so I was able to ask questions no other child dared to say. My Mother died July 1995, she wasn't afraid to die, as that was one of my questions. I am thankful for the time we shared. Friends and I know she was proud of me.

What did I get from my Mother besides scars - the older I get the more I really look like her. I got her strength.

My husband will tell me at times - You are your Mother Child

Patsy

[theia]

My brother was always my mother's favourite, it showed and naturally it hurt. But not as much as the relationship she developed with my brother's ex wife back in the mid nineties. I could almost accept the fact the my brother was favoured over me, it happens a lot, but now I was faced with my role as daughter, however flawed, being threatened.

Over the past ten years I have put up with being told how wonderful, faultless and caring this person is and how my mother couldn't cope without her. I've flounced, I've tried to compete, I've tried to let it all go and to not let it affect me. And just when I think I'm managing it, this person will pass on an uncomplimentary comment that my mother has made about me. The "classic" happened about nine months ago when my mother left me a message on my answerphone and then didn't replace the handset properly. I was treated to several minutes of being spitefully referred to as "she" by the pair of them.

Ironically, neither could stand the other when this person was married to my brother, but now, they are inseparable. When I'm at my worst I see the pair of them as two of the witches from Macbeth. But that's just to get me through...deep down I'm talking about my mother, and I love her. And there's a lesson here somewhere for me, something to do with valuing myself...

[WonderWendy3]

Originally Posted by theia

What sort of relationship do you, or did you, have with your mother? She is my best friend and I love her more than words can express. My hero, strong, kind and heart of gold.

What do you think you have learned from it? I've learned to be a loving woman, slow to judge others, and that coupons are not something to be ashamed of!

Is there anything you would like to have changed in your relationship with her? I would like to not have to depend on her to help me with the boys, I would like to be financially able to give her enough money that her and Dad don't have to work anymore, and they can do what they "want" to do!!

How important do you think her influence has been in your life, and do you think you are similar to her in some respects?

Her strength through really tough times has taught me to be strong. I watched her fight cancer with every ounce of her being and she is still here to help people through it 11 years later!

I guess I am a lot like her, more than I ever thought...I am a giver and I try not to judge people




Big hugs to Theia.....

[sunny104]

we have not spoken in almost 8 years, my life is more peaceful this way.

She should've given me up for adoption since I wasn't wanted anyway.....


oh, well. having them as parents didn't affect my sunny disposition but it did make me stronger and I'm grateful for that.

[Chezzie]

I love my Mum, shes not always made the right choices in life and at times myself and my two elder brothers suffered due to those bad choices. Shes a hard worker, shes still working 6/7 days a week in a factory on a shift pattern @ 65 years old.

We have great fun when we are together but as she works so much my kids dont get to see her that much but they are sleeping over on Saturday as its my works do so im very pleased formy girls as they are well excited.

[moonpie]

I may not have any riches in life, but one thing I was very rich with was my mother's love. She was a very good, caring mother, and I feel sorry for anyone who never had that from their own. She was the glue in my family. It was just 6 years ago at the end of October when mine passed away. She was a good decent woman to one and all, and I do miss her too.

[Betty Boop]

Originally Posted by theia

My brother was always my mother's favourite, it showed and naturally it hurt. But not as much as the relationship she developed with my brother's ex wife back in the mid nineties. I could almost accept the fact the my brother was favoured over me, it happens a lot, but now I was faced with my role as daughter, however flawed, being threatened.

Over the past ten years I have put up with being told how wonderful, faultless and caring this person is and how my mother couldn't cope without her. I've flounced, I've tried to compete, I've tried to let it all go and to not let it affect me. And just when I think I'm managing it, this person will pass on an uncomplimentary comment that my mother has made about me. The "classic" happened about nine months ago when my mother left me a message on my answerphone and then didn't replace the handset properly. I was treated to several minutes of being spitefully referred to as "she" by the pair of them.

Ironically, neither could stand the other when this person was married to my brother, but now, they are inseparable. When I'm at my worst I see the pair of them as two of the witches from Macbeth. But that's just to get me through...deep down I'm talking about my mother, and I love her. And there's a lesson here somewhere for me, something to do with valuing myself...

Hugs for you hunni! Are you valuing yourself yet?

Mothers and daughters, nightmare lol there is a saying that 'whatever you don't deal with yourself your children will show you' so apply that to your mum and look at it from that perspective for a while ??

You are a wonderful lady, my little girl was talking about you just the other day, these were her words 'Mum, can we go and see that nice lady that gave me the sheep, I think she may want the sheep back, she may be lonely'

[theia]

Originally Posted by Betty Boop

Hugs for you hunni! Are you valuing yourself yet?

Mothers and daughters, nightmare lol there is a saying that 'whatever you don't deal with yourself your children will show you' so apply that to your mum and look at it from that perspective for a while ??

You are a wonderful lady, my little girl was talking about you just the other day, these were her words 'Mum, can we go and see that nice lady that gave me the sheep, I think she may want the sheep back, she may be lonely'

Oh bless her, she's such a sweetie

Could you just explain the "perspective" bit again. It sounds useful but I'm having a day...can't even work out the sayings on the Wad Juice thread

[Betty Boop]

Originally Posted by theia

Oh bless her, she's such a sweetie

Could you just explain the "perspective" bit again. It sounds useful but I'm having a day...can't even work out the sayings on the Wad Juice thread

You always challenge me lol give me five