Realising that I am very lonely

[K.Snyder]

Well, Boogalette, your entire original post talked about how you'd missed your two close friends and about how your other friends seem to have conflicting schedules...How long have you tried to meet with them, a couple of weeks or a few months?

Having talked about missing friendships and the feelings they encompass followed sternly by

Originally Posted by Boogalette

I can understand why some women have affairs as I have entertained it. I would never have one, or even flirt with the opportunity, but I understand why some people do it.

leads me to believe that you're rather bored, and it's not just by your lack of friendships.

[Blackadder]

Hi, new on this site myself and if I sit back I realise that its the same for me, I have pub (bar) acquaintances (this is England, everyone drinks!)but no real close friends. I have in the past and been burned so I personally think friends are over-rated.

I found music, as in I listen and play guitar, write songs etc. stress buster.

You need a hobby.

Or move house . . . . . .

[mikeinie]

Originally Posted by Boogalette

Hi, Spot

My city has roughly a population of 100K. We have quite a thriving community. I live within city limits , but many consider it country life, 15 minutes from city center. Sometimes I would like to throttle people who think they have to plan a weekend to visit my family, but yet they expect myself and my family to make teh exact same drive. Boggles my mind .

I live in a community larger than a village and a town, for sure. But it is more like 3 degrees of separation, not the 6 we all are familiar with.

We are buried in snow for months at a time, but hey, it's Canada, it happens.

But think of the up side..

[abbey]

Originally Posted by mikeinie

But think of the up side..
Attachment 29929

[Boogalette]

Well, it's been over 2 months since I posted this. I thought for sure this would have been on page 6-20 at this point.

I'm sorry that there are other lonely people out there as well. I'd rather be alone in feeling this way to be honest, only because I know how shitty this feels.

Do I still feel lonely? You bet I do. I just have not dwelled on it much as of late. I'm overwhelmed and incredibly stressed at work, and have no time to feel lonely. Sort of taking a hammer to your foot to forget about the headache therapy. Oy.

I have chosen to replug into my family vs look externally for friendship and affection. My husband and I are reconnecting better (by notches, slow and steady) and so are my children and I.

I cook more.

I walk with some neighbourhood ladies/friends more.

I spend more time with my Mom.

I'm inviting my nieces over more to hang out with my kids.

It's little stuff. I'm paying more attention to the little stuff vs focusing on this huge hurt.

Oh the hurt is still there, but it's doing me more good to look at other stuff. It may go away, here's hoping.

I'm only 40

Thank all of you for your kind words. What I really appreciate about it the most is the effort you gave in trying to help me. Do you know how important that was to a complete stranger? Did you see how kind all of you were in just typing out several sentences??

Thank you.

[Patsy Warnick]

Well, it sounds like your off to a good start.

I wish you the best
Patsy

[K.Snyder]

Originally Posted by Boogalette

Oh the hurt is still there, but it's doing me more good to look at other stuff. It may go away, here's hoping.

I don't care how appealing this thought of yours might sound but by ignoring your feelings you'll not only delay the inevitable but you'll very definitively serve to make them worse

[Patsy Warnick]

Snyder
I believe Boogalette is working on finding their feelings and how to cope with those feelings - working through those feelings.
As they arise - come to terms with it.

One can't make quick decisions/judgements on how One works thru.

She's made great strides
Patsy

[AussiePam]

I agree with you, Patsy. Sometimes focussing off a hurt and getting on with your life helps with another perspective. All the things you're doing sound good to me. Very best wishes for continued healing, Boogalette.

[Odie]

Originally Posted by Boogalette

Well, it's been over 2 months since I posted this. I thought for sure this would have been on page 6-20 at this point.

I'm sorry that there are other lonely people out there as well. I'd rather be alone in feeling this way to be honest, only because I know how shitty this feels.

Do I still feel lonely? You bet I do. I just have not dwelled on it much as of late. I'm overwhelmed and incredibly stressed at work, and have no time to feel lonely. Sort of taking a hammer to your foot to forget about the headache therapy. Oy.

I have chosen to replug into my family vs look externally for friendship and affection. My husband and I are reconnecting better (by notches, slow and steady) and so are my children and I.

I cook more.

I walk with some neighbourhood ladies/friends more.

I spend more time with my Mom.

I'm inviting my nieces over more to hang out with my kids.

It's little stuff. I'm paying more attention to the little stuff vs focusing on this huge hurt.

Oh the hurt is still there, but it's doing me more good to look at other stuff. It may go away, here's hoping.

I'm only 40

Thank all of you for your kind words. What I really appreciate about it the most is the effort you gave in trying to help me. Do you know how important that was to a complete stranger? Did you see how kind all of you were in just typing out several sentences??

Thank you.

I know how it feels to be lonely, its seems you have come a long way.

I keep busy since my x left me, I do things above and beyond that I never though I could do, inside and outside the house.

I see my family much more often now.

I read more often now, apparently it takes 3-5 years to get over a separation, so now I know I am not going insane, and I take things day by day..



am I still lonely? damn right I am, but I have also learned to focus on small things, one day at a time, some days are awesome, some are not just like everyone's elses.