Boyfriend shows little to no emotion...HELP!

[KittylovingBlond]

Originally Posted by devist8me

The link below is to a book by John Gray, "Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus". Like most books along these lines, its just this authors opinion about how things are but it really helped me. I suggest it to any friend who complains about things like this, your story rings a bell from previous friends who have had the same problems.


http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...22302?v=glance

Thank you I will check it out- I've heard it's a classic.

[lady cop]

Originally Posted by Jives

Hmmm....this thread is about emotion, that's a sign of weakness and makes me uncomfortable. I'm a guy. I rule my emotions, they don't rule me. I told my girl I love her Monday, it's Wednesday and I still love her. Why should I have to tell her every day?

I don't get this...I'm outta here.

LAUGHING MY BUTT OFF! HAHAHAHA!!! JIVES!! i sure am fortunate, my man has no problem expressing his honest feelings at all. and his concern for me. boy am i happy about that! he is so brilliant and insightful. happy lady cop!

[BabyRider]

Originally Posted by lady cop

LAUGHING MY BUTT OFF! HAHAHAHA!!! JIVES!! i sure am fortunate, my man has no problem expressing his honest feelings at all. and his concern for me. boy am i happy about that! he is so brilliant and insightful. happy lady cop!

It's gettin' sappy in here....
Yep, you're lucky LC, as am I. My guy may not be perfect, but he can express himself to me well. Gotta love it. And him!!! Happy BR!!!

[lady cop]

it's wednesday?

[pink princess]

Originally Posted by Jives

Why should I have to tell her every day?

I don't get this...I'm outta here.

because you lover her? and it makes her feel special to you.

do you have set days you tell her?

[pink princess]

Originally Posted by KittylovingBlond

Some Background:

has a fantastic career as a mechanical engineer


-Kitty

there a funny bunch, engineers, i work with them!!

and date one!

emotions arent always their strong point tho im quite lucky mines fairly good, tho he does tend to keep a lot of his 'im stressed about this' kind of emotions to himself, doesnt have a problem being all lovey tho

[KittylovingBlond]

Yes I've been told the engineer types are all analytical and logical, and have a hard time understanding anything that's not 100% rational.

I talked to him last night and he said that he has very little patience for people complaining about things- he said there are so many other things to do with your time. While I agree that it would be nice for the world to be complain-free, it's never going to happen...he just has no comprehension of that kind of attitude. And since he doesn't understand, he immediately characterizes it as overly dramatic and pointless.

'Tis very very frustrating- not to mention hurtful since I feel like my emotions and feelings are never valid.

[gmc]

It is a male female thing, women react by talking about things men don't they just decide how to deal with it and get on.

For instance ask the average bloke how he gets on at work and you'll get fine, O.K. and that's it, ask a woman and she'll tell you.

Same with telling about an incident or problem at work. My wife asks me what I think she should do about something. I answer the question and to me that is the conversation over, but no she wants to diccuss it in detail and go over everything again and again and discuss every possible approach. I realise now that is just the way women are but it used to drive me up the wall. Actually it still does but now I realise interupting to express an opinion is not necessary and just disrupts the flow of conversation.

Men relax after work, have a meal sit down watch TV whatever they don't actually want to talk about the day it is now over deal with it again tomorrow, quite frankly they don't want to talk to anybody for a while while often the wife wants to talk. Women relax by talking over everything that happened in great detail and confuse a lack of interest with disinterest in them.

When you phone him the poor guy is probably just happy to hear your voice and you want a two way dialogue when the last things he wants to do is talk about work or anything he is doing. Good sign means he can leave stress at work rather than bringing it home.

posted by kittylovingblond

I talked to him last night and he said that he has very little patience for people complaining about things- he said there are so many other things to do with your time. While I agree that it would be nice for the world to be complain-free, it's never going to happen...he just has no comprehension of that kind of attitude. And since he doesn't understand, he immediately characterizes it as overly dramatic and pointless.

I can relate to that so can most blokes I bet

[lady cop]

Originally Posted by Jives

Oh! No wonder I don't get this thread! I have two degrees in Electrical Engineering!

wrong! my sweetie an engineer and a genius....but still giving emotionally. very much so. no excuses buddy!

[KittylovingBlond]

Originally Posted by gmc

It is a male female thing, women react by talking about things men don't they just decide how to deal with it and get on.

For instance ask the average bloke how he gets on at work and you'll get fine, O.K. and that's it, ask a woman and she'll tell you.

Same with telling about an incident or problem at work. My wife asks me what I think she should do about something. I answer the question and to me that is the conversation over, but no she wants to diccuss it in detail and go over everything again and again and discuss every possible approach. I realise now that is just the way women are but it used to drive me up the wall. Actually it still does but now I realise interupting to express an opinion is not necessary and just disrupts the flow of conversation.

Men relax after work, have a meal sit down watch TV whatever they don't actually want to talk about the day it is now over deal with it again tomorrow, quite frankly they don't want to talk to anybody for a while while often the wife wants to talk. Women relax by talking over everything that happened in great detail and confuse a lack of interest with disinterest in them.

When you phone him the poor guy is probably just happy to hear your voice and you want a two way dialogue when the last things he wants to do is talk about work or anything he is doing. Good sign means he can leave stress at work rather than bringing it home.

posted by kittylovingblond


I can relate to that so can most blokes I bet

Thanks for the insight, I think you may be right.