Nervous Breakdowns

[almostfamous]

Originally Posted by Raven

Sweetheart, in science terms, your nervous system went ppphhhttt brieflly. It took a long time to get to that point, and it is going to take a lot longer to heal. Vitamins e, c, and b12, plus b6 are all good for promoting nervous system health. Evening primrose also does a trick as well.
But as for healing relationships, if your 'friends' cant be forgiving when an apology and explaination is given, then they are not the kind of people you need around you while you heal.
It is time to take stock of what is really important in your life and what is not. I know...I've been there.
Identify what factors drove you to where you were and amputate them. (not talking body parts here!) You have a wonderful chance to start fresh. You have done nothing to warrant snubs, but perhaps you still may be hypersensitive? By giving your friend the benefit of the doubt, you can put away negative karma and move on. If understanding and compassion are witheld from you, then you need to develop friendships with kindred souls who can help you learn to forgive yourself. Thats where true healing begins.
x

You're absolutely right about the relationships that I feel (and some that I gave up on years ago) needed mending.... a friend of mine told me yesterday.... 'Bethany, you didn't lose them, they lost you... they have no idea the person you've become having gone thru that'.... and he's damn right. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, I am a better person now. My road to recovery was anything but easy and I still made mistakes that were detrimental to my health but in the end I came out with a better, humbler perspective on life.

I think I'll slap myself on the ass now jk but you're also right about who I surround myself with. Unfortunately, and as much as I love my parents, they don't always tend to be the healthiest pair to be around but when options are well, nonexistent, you appreciate what you have and hope for sanity as soon as it is affordable.

And another point you made was forgiving myself.... that was my biggest struggle and may very well be something that is still holding me back. I just wish the few days that I have no personal recollection of would just magically appear! Only then do I feel I would have the closure I need to move on :/

[almostfamous]

Originally Posted by farmer giles

when my ex took chantelle away after i brought her up alone till she was 5 i had a breakdown i remember crying a lot and drinking a lot

i lost a year of my life

I can't imagine how hard that was for you but I'm glad you made it out of it pal. We wouldn't know what to do without ya.

[Odie]

Originally Posted by almostfamous

Thanks Odie, it does help but I think I'm just going to let it be. It's her day and no matter what I wish her the best. I don't have it in me for hard feelings, it simply is what it is and pain is no stranger. It's not worth getting too mucked up about, I know that now.

One thing that has probably been the hardest thing for me to accept about people in my life that let me down or hurt me for whatever reason is the fact that I'm not that way. I'm not saying I'm perfect or have never hurt someone but I'm overly considerate most days.... well, I used to be moreso than I am now but you can only be taken advantage of so many times before you become a little harder towards people.. But sometimes it just hurts because in certain situations you know you would've handled things differently *shrug*

It has also been that way for me as well, as I just don't understand how some people react, let me down and end up hurting me...To me almostfamous, if it is a true friend, then you communicate back and forth all the time something upsets one another....no one, no one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes, everyone says things they shouldn't have....but good friends should sit down and talk through issues.

As I get older now, its even worse?

It's not like I am a school girl, I am 58 years old, at my age no friends should ever hurt, mistrust, let you down......you talk it out.....





its not just you who goes through this.

[shelbell]

Originally Posted by AussiePam

AFTR and Shelbell - you are both getting some ongoing professional medical help, aren't you??!! There's a lot that can be done to help the kind of things you're dealing with. Illness can be mental as well as physical and there is no shame in it. Any more than there would be if you'd got malaria. It needs treatment, then ongoing monitoring.



Shelbell - what you describe is immediately recognisable to anyone who's been involved with bipolar depression. Don't beat yourself up over it as well. It's an illness - and needs medical attention and tender loving care.

I do see a psychiatrist every 3-4 weeks. It seems that I've tried just about every medication or medicine "cocktails" there is...all to no avail. I'm extremely medication resistant so I usually end up on the highest doses and they still don't help(medication for physical problems don't help either). It's a hereditary thing that affects about 10% of the population...I got it from my dad. I have to be put to sleep for any type of procedure because I can't be numbed.My medicare will cover my shrinks visits and my meds, but doesn't cover counseling....how stupid is that. I do keep trying tho...and hoping that one day, we'll find something that works. And thanks for your kind concern Pam.

[almostfamous]

Originally Posted by shelbell

I'm not sure if what I've suffered is nervous breakdowns, or are meltdowns...maybe they're the same thing.

I've never had to be hospitalized from it, but somedays all I do is cry, others I stay in bed and sleep for 2-3 days only getting up to use the bathroom and get some water to drink...then I'm right back in bed....and I sleep the entire time. Sometimes I can't remember what day it is, and I'll just forget to eat. I've dealt with severe depression for many years, along with bipolar2. I've suffered thru many of these symptoms for a long time, but after hubby passed away 6 months ago, so many of these things have only gotten worse. Anytime something else bad comes up, even minor things, I just seem to freak out and over react, sometimes I just go to bed and don't care about anything but sleeping.

It's so lonely and it feels that no one else can possibly understand what I'm going thru. Sometimes I just want to put my fist thru the wall, or bang my head against it...and sometimes I just wish there was somone aroud that I could just bash their face in.

I hate to hear you're still going thru this and as much as I can tell ya I've been there I know it doesn't help you feel better. You mentioned already being diagnosed with bipolar2 disorder and I feel I can safely assume you're taking medications to help but from my experience you can build an immunity to those meds and sometimes they need to be altered. Have you told your doctor or therapist that you're still struggling with these issues? And not to pry but have you been able to pinpoint the source that brings them on? For me, it was easy to pinpoint but not so easy to want to rehash them even though I knew it would ensure my peace of mind. It took time but finally I dealt with a lot of it. I won't lie and say that there isn't still some residue from them that at times hit me out of nowhere but I can say now that it's manageable.

I've been at the point of wanting to put my head thru a wall or even a toaster thru a cranium or two but now I know how to channel a little better.

I'm always here if you need a friend that won't judge you but please don't let it overtake you. Noone deserves to be miserable and it doesn't appear you're getting the best quality of life right now

[almostfamous]

Originally Posted by Kathy Ellen

Hey Beth

I hear what you're saying. I try really hard not to give up on my friends when they're having a hard time and hope they do the same for me. I have stood by all my friends helping them through their issues, except one. I had to give up on this friend as her problems, after our 30 yr. friendship, was destroying my life. I had to let this friendship go.

But, if friends won't support you, then maybe they were never a true friend. Maybe you don't really need friends like that.

Do you feel comfortable calling your friend and asking why you weren't invited? This way you'll know and can then move on. Maybe it's a misunderstanding. It would be good to give her a chance to explain her decision before you react.

AND, I hear you when you say that it's hard for you to cause waves. All of my years growing up, I was never allowed to create 'ripples' and it's still hard for me to confront people when I'm upset. I was thinking about creating a thread about it tonight..dunno...

Keep the faith Beth...talk to her first. It might hurt to know the truth but at least you'll have closure and will be able to move on.

Good luck

Thanks Kathy, You're right, I Don't need friends like that.. if there were really that good of a friend to begin with but like my friend told me last night... some people come into your life, make their mark and then you fade. She did have an impact on my life in many ways, and I do still care for her but the closeness we had just wasn't meant to be forever. I have a couple of friends that I know are lifers and that's all I need, other friends will come and go..

[almostfamous]

Originally Posted by shelbell

I do see a psychiatrist every 3-4 weeks. It seems that I've tried just about every medication or medicine "cocktails" there is...all to no avail. I'm extremely medication resistant so I usually end up on the highest doses and they still don't help(medication for physical problems don't help either). It's a hereditary thing that affects about 10% of the population...I got it from my dad. I have to be put to sleep for any type of procedure because I can't be numbed.My medicare will cover my shrinks visits and my meds, but doesn't cover counseling....how stupid is that. I do keep trying tho...and hoping that one day, we'll find something that works. And thanks for your kind concern Pam.

Ignore most of my other reply... I had not seen this one yet.

There really aren't words to express how bad I think you're situation sucks and how I wish I could reach down and find some kind of solution or path to one at least for you.

I'm such a dang hippy at heart.... I wonder if alternative medicine might be a better approach?? Acupuncture therapy, herbal supplements like Raven suggested? With the supplements though ya need to double check with your primary care first because even herbal meds can alter your prescription ones.

You're in my prayers though, sometimes that is the only thing that can change things when we just release our control (or lack thereof) of the situation into His hands and trust a better day will come. (that being said, I mean no offense if you aren't a praying person... that just fell out of my mouth as it would have with any of my friends in RL)

[almostfamous]

Ok, that's enough outta me for one evening. Good night

[shelbell]

Originally Posted by almostfamous

I hate to hear you're still going thru this and as much as I can tell ya I've been there I know it doesn't help you feel better. You mentioned already being diagnosed with bipolar2 disorder and I feel I can safely assume you're taking medications to help but from my experience you can build an immunity to those meds and sometimes they need to be altered. Have you told your doctor or therapist that you're still struggling with these issues? And not to pry but have you been able to pinpoint the source that brings them on? For me, it was easy to pinpoint but not so easy to want to rehash them even though I knew it would ensure my peace of mind. It took time but finally I dealt with a lot of it. I won't lie and say that there isn't still some residue from them that at times hit me out of nowhere but I can say now that it's manageable.

I've been at the point of wanting to put my head thru a wall or even a toaster thru a cranium or two but now I know how to channel a little better.

I'm always here if you need a friend that won't judge you but please don't let it overtake you. Noone deserves to be miserable and it doesn't appear you're getting the best quality of life right now

It's not even building up immunity to meds, they just don't work on me. Yeah, I tell my psychiatrist about the thoughts and feelings I have...it's just one med after another. I think it's gotten worse over the past few years because of a lot of health problems, and having had 4 major surgeries in 4 1/2 years, 3 worked, but one didn't and they haven't been able to do anything else for it...no many how many treaments I've had. I know all my health problems is a huge thing for me because of all the disappointment and frustrations I've had to deal with. Then hubby dying, kid problems...and more and more. It's hard to look up when it feels like my life is just going down. Sometimes it feels easier to give up than to fight. Thanks AF!

[Patsy Warnick]

Shelbell

I'm not sure what to call it either - what a emotional experience...!!!

I was 30 & my husband was 30, when he died at work of a heart attack. (1988).

I can't explain exactly what my body / system went through. Nevous Breakdown is as good of diagnosis as any.
Could be,,, Almost a out of body experience - your there but what am I doing ???

I didn't have children - I remember sleeping alot and widdled down to 108 pounds.
Interesting how the body will protect itself. I just had to sleep because my therapy was being able to see my husband in my dreams..

I stoppped completely all the MEDS - no anti-depressants for me.. I found they put me further under..

I'm sorry for your friends oversight on the invite - she's afraid & wants her gathering to be perfect - acceptable from a good friend, probably not. Hurtful yes!!

Don't call her - she obviously has her reasons and you little Miss can rise above her attitude....

You have children - is there any one available to take them for a week or so, so you can sleep & dream - let your body heal..???

you need your own time before you can comfort others & deal with others..

I do know all your emotions & the mourning steps your going thru
If you wish to talk - please feel free to open up - I hope I can shine some light in your path...

I've been worried about you since Flop posted her thread & gave us notice of the tragedy you & your family have to face.
Mourning a mate is a tough path especially at a young age

Please reach out & as you can tell - your loved here on FG

I'll be praying for you
Patsy