Nervous Breakdowns

[shelbell]

Originally Posted by Patsy Warnick

LOVE the MEAT CLEAVER idea - that's a must do Shelbell...!!

Give out pimple cream instead of candy

And jumping into this personality of being a "Crazy Lady " you could
work out alot of frustations. could be a real good thing.

Hug yourself Shel - this friends wedding thing - it's not so much she thinks your Crazy - inviting a young widow to a fun festive ceremony/occasion
well honey, that is putting a little glume in the air

and really - do you really want to be around all those people right now???
do you want them to give condolences at a wedding? do you want to hear they're sorry & & ..??
If this occasion is very important to you - you could always slip in the ceremony alittle late, sign the guest book, sit in the back, take your pics, smile alittle,
and avoid the reception, so then you can avoid the glume of condolences...

Your friend (what ever her reason was) is actually doing you a favor without the invite. you know you'll cry & you'll being remembering your wedding and everything will errupt inside you...
do you need it..??

Get the Cleaver
Love Ya
Patsy

I love the cleaver idea, but I don't know how smart it is on Holloween...just one nut job could grab it, knock on my door, and cleave me to death!

[Nomad]

Originally Posted by almostfamous

Good lord nomie I love your sillyass... see they all knew I was a whackjob to begin with but even I caught them off guard.... Jumping out of a car at 50ish mph in the middle of a busy street can freak anybody out. I, of course, don't personally remember what was going thru my mind to do it but remember walking down the sidewalk afterwards It was a rough time indeed but roughest on me. I've decided I've said all I can say or desire to say to them about it and it's their loss.

My neighbors may hate you for the meat cleaver idea though... of course I'm gonna have to do that now that you've embedded it into my almostloopy mind

Thats pretty severe. Very scary for anyone jumping out of a car. There was a guy in Florida that did that. He was a suspect in the Florida State decapitating killings until they found Danny Rolling.
So whether you recall the incident or not your left with leaving an incredibly dramatic impression on people. I can understand your friends omission. It could detract from her wedding day and its about her on that day. Shes probably protecting that. If you can get outside of your feelings of being hurt you might find that understandable.
Genuine offer here...if your feeling nutty or like your going over the edge you can talk to me. Ive found a couple of ways of bringing peace to myself that are very effective. Id be happy to share them with you. As a drunk for more than 20 yrs. Ive put myself and others through the ringer on more than one occassion. Theres a better way than suffering and you should know that you can have love and peace in your life. Its yours for the asking.

[Raven]

Originally Posted by almostfamous

You're absolutely right about the relationships that I feel (and some that I gave up on years ago) needed mending.... a friend of mine told me yesterday.... 'Bethany, you didn't lose them, they lost you... they have no idea the person you've become having gone thru that'.... and he's damn right. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, I am a better person now. My road to recovery was anything but easy and I still made mistakes that were detrimental to my health but in the end I came out with a better, humbler perspective on life.

I think I'll slap myself on the ass now jk but you're also right about who I surround myself with. Unfortunately, and as much as I love my parents, they don't always tend to be the healthiest pair to be around but when options are well, nonexistent, you appreciate what you have and hope for sanity as soon as it is affordable.

And another point you made was forgiving myself.... that was my biggest struggle and may very well be something that is still holding me back. I just wish the few days that I have no personal recollection of would just magically appear! Only then do I feel I would have the closure I need to move on :/

It's not closure you need. Thats a myth. You need good friends who are willing to take you as you are! You cant move forwards by looking back. EVERYONE makes mistakes! (except maybe Jesus, and look what happened to Him!)
As for parents,....well lets just say my mother is so shallow, if she was a puddle, you wouldnt get your feet wet walking thru her!
My brother is good to talk to though.
Point is...family are usually rubbish when it comes to the people they love best. What you need is someone who is totally outside the situation. Thats when you get the best advice. x

[almostfamous]

Originally Posted by Nomad

Thats pretty severe. Very scary for anyone jumping out of a car. There was a guy in Florida that did that. He was a suspect in the Florida State decapitating killings until they found Danny Rolling.
So whether you recall the incident or not your left with leaving an incredibly dramatic impression on people. I can understand your friends omission. It could detract from her wedding day and its about her on that day. Shes probably protecting that. If you can get outside of your feelings of being hurt you might find that understandable.
Genuine offer here...if your feeling nutty or like your going over the edge you can talk to me. Ive found a couple of ways of bringing peace to myself that are very effective. Id be happy to share them with you. As a drunk for more than 20 yrs. Ive put myself and others through the ringer on more than one occassion. Theres a better way than suffering and you should know that you can have love and peace in your life. Its yours for the asking.

Yeah, I know that "stunt" was traumatizing and although I don't know what I thought I would accomplish by jumping out of the car I can only imagine it was because I felt like the situation was not being taken seriously merely because I was not physically harmed... one piece of the story that I just realized I failed to mention (and I'm not making excuses here, but...) was that I am about 99.9% sure I was drugged the night before said incident. That day that I was in the car with them I had been begging to be taken to a medical facility to be tested before the drugs could leave my system. I had already gone to a hospital and was told they didn't have the proper "kits" to test for said drug(s). I didn't feel like my situation was being taken seriously due to the fact that before finally arriving at a medical testing place I was drug around Memphis so that 2 friends that were in the car could pay rent, pick up something from a boutique (yadayada).... I would have taken my damn self if I'd known I'd be last priority of the day. Mind you, this day of mania started early that morning (I had been up all night) when I told my "friends" what I felt had happened to me and I didn't get to the testing facility until 7 that night.

I know I was drugged because after one gin and tonic and a vodka shot I felt like I had concrete around my feet, felt like I had 10 or more alcoholic beverages and I had a flashback of sorts of something that had happened to me in 99 that I had totally suppressed. I kept consciousness and made it home safely but then was unable to sleep (I felt like I was on some type of speed). This whole situation was really fkd up to say the least, and even though I'm able to find it in me to move on, the whole wedding ordeal was just a reminder of what I went through and how I was treated after. I'm just done with them. I have to be. I was jaded in the volume of our friendship and should never have let it bother to me begin with even after what seems to have been a phony reconciliation. Some people are just inconsiderate and self-centered and who the hell needs em.

I appreciate the offer Nomie, you know I do and one day I may have to take ya up on it. Thankfully, that has been the only episode where I completely lost my sh1t and I survived it. I came out of it a changed person, bitter? at times yes, enlightened? even more so. As for having love and peace in my life.... Love can bite me and I don't mean the love bug, that part of me is just temporarily out of service and peace can come any day, I'd welcome it but I'm getting sort of numb to the everyday wtf's that seem to occur. Once I feel I'm gaining peace, I have a day like yesterday and find out my grandmother has less than 2 months to live after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. So, it is what it is and I do good to make it thru this life, peace will come when I'm dead I can only assume.

[almostfamous]

Originally Posted by Raven

It's not closure you need. Thats a myth. You need good friends who are willing to take you as you are! You cant move forwards by looking back. EVERYONE makes mistakes! (except maybe Jesus, and look what happened to Him!)
As for parents,....well lets just say my mother is so shallow, if she was a puddle, you wouldnt get your feet wet walking thru her!
My brother is good to talk to though.
Point is...family are usually rubbish when it comes to the people they love best. What you need is someone who is totally outside the situation. Thats when you get the best advice. x

You're absolutely right, no dispute here whatsoever. My best friend Becca has been my rock. Our friendship is going on 15 years strong and she is the one person that I can count on to always be there and she doesn't sugar-coat either which I respect. She tells me when I'm being an idiot and backs me when she's knows I've been wronged.

As for parents, our mothers appear to have been separated at birth and my dad and I just don't have that kind of a relationship so yeah, I know...

I have been blessed though in the past bit with a new friend that really gets me and listens to me and we've sort of bonded thru the madness that we're both experiencing. He's my 'outside of the situation' go-to person and it's refreshing.

I will say though just being able to talk about it here at times helps too. Different opinions help me look at different aspects of the situation and help me not to be so hasty at times. Not to mention some of the folks here have become a source of strength as well.

[Nomad]

Concentrate on losing the bitterness and try to not dwell on the past. Both are useless endeavors and a waste of your valuable time.
When you find yourself in that place force your thoughts elsewhere. Repetetively, over and over again until it becomes unnatural to to feel negative. Will your thoughts into what you wish. Right now your reward for negativity is more negativity. Its a horrible cycle. You cant control what others think, feel or do but you can control your thoughts.
You have a higher priority at the moment. Your child....

[almostfamous]

Originally Posted by Nomad

Concentrate on losing the bitterness and try to not dwell on the past. Both are useless endeavors and a waste of your valuable time.
When you find yourself in that place force your thoughts elsewhere. Repetetively, over and over again until it becomes unnatural to to feel negative. Will your thoughts into what you wish. Right now your reward for negativity is more negativity. Its a horrible cycle. You cant control what others think, feel or do but you can control your thoughts.
You have a higher priority at the moment. Your child....

you're right

[Raven]

Originally Posted by almostfamous

You're absolutely right, no dispute here whatsoever. My best friend Becca has been my rock. Our friendship is going on 15 years strong and she is the one person that I can count on to always be there and she doesn't sugar-coat either which I respect. She tells me when I'm being an idiot and backs me when she's knows I've been wronged.

As for parents, our mothers appear to have been separated at birth and my dad and I just don't have that kind of a relationship so yeah, I know...

I have been blessed though in the past bit with a new friend that really gets me and listens to me and we've sort of bonded thru the madness that we're both experiencing. He's my 'outside of the situation' go-to person and it's refreshing.

I will say though just being able to talk about it here at times helps too. Different opinions help me look at different aspects of the situation and help me not to be so hasty at times. Not to mention some of the folks here have become a source of strength as well.

Yeah, this is a good forum for that! Alot of us have actually met. Makes it even more fun on the boards. We come from all walks and cover just about all age groups! So all problems are sorted! x

[Nomad]

She tells me when I'm being an idiot

If thats all it takes to be your friend, this is right up my alley.
Sign me up.

[AussiePam]

((((((((((((((( AlmostFamous )))))))))))))))))