Future in-law trouble/boyfriend trouble HELP ME!?!

[weeder]

All of this nonsense and drama is boring. Can you imagine a life time of this?
Involve yourself in something interesting, like goals for the future, college, a career. Imagine actually marrying into this mess. You could get a little apartment,
have the inlaws over for dinner a few times, struggle without money, be miserable, and get a divorce. Guess who will be there for you? Your parents.
Boyfriends, and sometimes husbands( unfortunately) come and go. Family doesnt, and neither do children. Move on.

[Rapunzel]

Lots of good advice here hunni.

If your bf doesn't respect your parents now, then he never will. Which will always put you in a horrible position between him and them.

If his parents are foul about your parents now, they'll become worse once you marry and become part of 'their' family, imo.

If your bf is controlling and thinks he's the boss now, he will also get worse once you're married.

Tbh it sounds as if marriage to him will turn you into cinderella, cleaning up his family's mess and with no one to turn to.

Which probably means you'll end up running away from him in the middle of the night, with all your little children in tow, and having to run home to your parents if they'll still have you.

Or you might end up living on the streets with your kids. Or on welfare, in a damp apartment, where your kids will get sick and other neighbours will steal any food or money you might have.

So now think of me as your fairy godmother.

The way to avoid living on the streets is to go to college, get a degree, and get a good job that you can go back to if you split up with your partner. That way you will always have enough money for food and clothes and treats for your children and you will be able to give them a good life, not a hellish existence.

Whilst you're at college you need to date a few boys and have some nights out with the girls. Make friends. Enjoy life. You need to learn about yourself and about what you want from life and how you want to be treated, before you tie yourself down to someone.

You can always finish college and come home and marry your bf.

Just don't think marriage is a big fairytale that will make everything better. Marriage is serious and takes a lot of hard work.

You sound very young and your bf sounds very immature. You SO need to experience life and enjoy some fun in life before you tie yourself down.

Its entirely your choice hunni, but the picture you've painted sounds as though marriage to him would turn into a living hell for you. A prison sentence you may never escape!

Show your parents how grown up and sensible you are. Ask for their advice for your future. They know you better than anyone. And if you're heavily involved in your church, why not also ask your pastors advice. You may think they don't understand your situation but I'm betting they understand FAR more clearly than you realise.

Good luck sweetie. Don't let love blind you to the realities that could await you if you carry on down this path.

[YZGI]

When does the next chapter come out? Are there vampires in the next chapter? Can this be Tivo'd so I can fast foward through some of it?

Ciff hangers, they drive me crazy...

[Nomad]

Originally Posted by Blueskyes92

Hey guys.

Ok, my boyfriend and I have been going out for about five months now. And things have taken a major turn with him and my parents, and me with his parents. He is 18, I am 17. I have certain things I'm not allowed to do since I am just 17 and still living with my parents and under their rules. He however is 18 and shouldn't have rules cause he is an adult. His mother is very arrogant and set in her ways, she has a major problem with throwing a "temper-tantrum" when she doesn't get what she wants, and sometimes its like watching a little kid. His dad has the "I'm always right and your always wrong" mind-set.... Which in result, you put those two together, and my boyfriend, has his mom's arrogantness and his dad's I right your wrong mind-set. Which are totally a bad combination, cause they "compliment" one another and build eachother up in arguments and conversations. Our second month of dating, he and I went out and we were told my curfew was midnight. Well 10 rolled around and we were at his grandparents house two miles from my house, just after we came from eating with his parents and two brothers. My mom was trying to get ahold of us cause she was freaking out that something happened to him and I cause is was almost ten and she thought we'd be home around that time, and she hadn't heard anything from us yet. I called her back after she had called his mother, and his mother called his grandparents house to tell me that my mom was looking for me. I got home, and my mom asked my boyfriend to leave nicely so her and I could talk about this. He refused to leave without an answer as to why I was in so much trouble cause we were home before curfew. It was a huge long drawn out rediculous thing, and I still to this day have no clue as to what exactly happened. But him and my mom got into it, and she told him to get out. I know I made the mistake of not calling her to check in with her. But after that day it caused alot of problems. His parents have used that against my mom every day since that night happened. They think my parents are crazy controlling people. Which it hasn't helped my boyfriend out either, cause sometimes we get into arguments about it cause his parents influence his thinking. After that night, he absolutely refused to come into my house, I couldn't even get him on the porch. Him and his parents (mainly his parents) are always using things against my parents. They are total hypocrites, and very judgemental. They tell my boyfriend that my parents are stupid for not letting me drive out to his house past dark for my safety (its a rule that I have not being 18 yet). He lives abour 30-35 minutes from my house out in the country on dirt roads. My parents are worried I'm going to get in a reck or get hit, so I have to be home before dark. His parents don't think my parents have a right to give me certain rules, and they think they are crazy cause they are trying to "control" me with these certain rules they have. Well they are being very judgemental and hypocritical. My boyfriend recently just lost his phone for "mouthing off". His parents take the keys away from him for leaving the keys in HIS truck when its sitting in the driveway out in the country. He BOUGHT and PAID for his truck on his own, and he gets grounded from his truck! How stupid is that!?! He works for his dad, well, his dad says that he is going to act like the boss and work and a dad at the house. He tells my boyfriend that all the time. But he's always using the "dad" role in the "being the boss role". My boyfriend has gotten told that is he doesn't do what he is told that he will get kicked out of the house by his mother. And his Dad as told him that if he doesn't behave and do what he is told, that he will get fired. They are constantly using things against him, and its not fair. Then they turn around and start being hypocritical and judgemental about what my parents do. Again, I am 17 and my boyfriend is 18. Who has more of the right to set rules for they're child?... Which obviously they cannot grasp or fathem that! It has been causing some major conflict between my boyfriend and I, cause sometimes he lets what his parents thing of my parents and me to get in his head and take over his thoughts and feelings. WE had a major blowup Saturday cause we hung out all day and I had a church picnic to go to with my parents that day. I had already told them I'd go for a entire week, and I invited my boyfriend. He never gave me a answer for that. We talked about it all day cause we had to make a decision on what he was going to do cause we had to head over to the picnic at 4:45. He told me he didn't want to go cause he didn't want to hang around my family and he didn't want to deal with the people from my parents church. But I got mad at him cause he wanted to go back to his house and ride his motorcycle. He was choosing his motorcycle over me, and that made me really upset. Since we started dating, I'm always over at his house and hanging out with his family, which I hate more and more everytime. Cause it is starting to feel uncomfortable there. His mom and dad make snobby comments about me and my parents, sometimes my brother to my boyfriend. And their treatment towards me is getting weirder and a little more.... Not nice. Out of the entire time we have dated I have never pushed him to come hang out with my family cause I know he felt uncomforable, which it has caused problems with my parents and I, but I've dealt with it. He has only hung out with me and my family included about three or four times tops since about five months ago. I have seen his family hundreds of times, and it was uncomforable for me, but I sucked it up and dealt with it cause I wanted to be with my boyfriend. So the whole picnic thing was the last straw for me. He wasn't willing to endure a couple hours of just hanging out at a picnic so he could see me longer. Just before we left after we got into a major argument about this, he all of a sudden wanted me to ask if I could go with his to his house to ride motorcycles!!! He was being so selfish! I started to back away from his truck and shut his door after I'd tell him to just go home before he decided to jump out of his truck and tell me "Fine, we'll go to the stupid picnic". Which on the way there we fought more cause he was acting like his mother and being a baby and very arrogant! Well, we got there and he looked like he had a good time. BUT! We only stayed an hour before he wanted to leave. Guess what.... We ended up going to his house to hang out with his family. It wasn't all bad cause we went and rode dirt bikes. But still, his parents got what they wanted, cause they wanted him to come home. They have told him that they don't want him and I to be alone, they even said they have a problem with the fact that my parents let him and I be out in the driveway alone at night or the fact that they actually leave us alone and let us have our alone time. His parents are constantly checking up on us to make sure we're behaving ourselfs or whatever. He's getting very tired of his parents, and us fighting. As am I. My parents aren't doing anything wrong, but his parents are convinced my parents are wackjobs. And they constanly bag on my boyfriend about it. Which really makes him tense and we just bout end up in a argument everytime. His parents accuse my parents of controlling him and I and our relationship. He and I are planning on getting married next year if possible (money-wise). And these people are going to by my in-laws! Are they ever going to stop this madness even after my boyfriend and I get married and move out, or are they still going to try and control us and our relationship after we're married and on our own!?! I'm very stressed out and I have no clue what I'm going to do. I've just now been getting my boyfriend to see that he's not always right in what he does and the reason why we argue is cause of him and his attitude because of something he and his parents went through and his parents ragging on him all the time. Oh and just today, I found out that his mom has been making comments to my boyfriend about things that I put on my facebook and how weird they are. I've just been posting love stories.... They have sad ending, but she's been asking him why I put such weird stuff on my facebook. She has no right doing everything that she is doing, neither does his dad. How am I going to deal with them after my boyfriend and I are married!?!?! Can anyone help me!?!?! I need some advice!!!!

Can someone handle this for me please?

[CARLA]

Won't be me Nomie I got a headache just looking at the post can't imagine reading it.

[Nomad]

Originally Posted by CARLA

Won't be me Nomie I got a headache just looking at the post can't imagine reading it.

Well....I guess the important thing here is that the Vikings are 4-0.

[CARLA]

They look great Chargers on the other hand stink.

[Nomad]

Originally Posted by CARLA

Chargers on the other hand stink.

Yea. They really do.
Sorry but all is fair in love and the NFL.

[CARLA]

Well said Weeder thank you.

[mikeinie]

The law may for legal reasons state when someone is a kid and when someone is an adult, but it is not really like as soon as you wake up in the morning of your 18th birthday you are suddenly all grown up and are now a fully mature adult. You are 17 years old, you may feel grown up, and you may look like an adult, but physically and emotionally you are going through many changes still.

Your parents love you, remember that. Whatever they say or do, even if you do not agree, is in your best interest.

Boy friend’s will come and go (and there is no way that you should be thinking of marriage at 17), but your parents will always be there (ok, well, eventually they will not be, but let’s hope that is not too soon).

Slow down a bit, it is amazing how kids (and you are still a kid) want to grow up so fast, then you know what, one day you wake up and you wish has come true, you are all grown up and you wonder where the time went. You wish you could have had even one more day with your mom or day before they passed on. Life is made up of work, pressure and responsibilities and you wonder why I was in such a hurry when I was young, when I had all that time ahead of me.

Listen to your parents. Respect them. Slow down.