Domestic violence part 2

[BabyRider]

I really can't take it anymore...This may be an angry-sounding and drawn-out rant/vent, but I gotta do it.

I have heard, in the past several weeks, about women here getting hit by their husbands, boyfriends, ex's and what have you. Some have come out with it, some have not. I have a few things to say on this subject, and I hope everyone pays really close attention.

Ladies first: No matter what the guy hitting you has told you, it is not ok. No matter what kind of brain-washing bullshit he has filled your mind with, it's not true. Every abuser I have known, (and I have known several) is a coward, a liar, spineless, worthless and garbage. I don't care if he's hit you once or you've been beat for years. They are all interchangeable.
You can save yourself, but you can't save him. No matter how bad you want to, no matter how many times he's said he's "sorry" it's NEVER GONNA HAPPEN.
I lived through exactly what you're going through for 5 years. Don't tell me your situation is different, it's not. A man professes to love you and then he hits you. Period. They are all the same, and you cannot concern yourself with him, you have to look out for YOU.
This subject is so near to my heart, here's what I'm going to do: I have helped a few women in the past years since I got away from the man beating the crap out of me; (the ones who WANTED help, anyway) and I will continue to do so. If you want help, there's things that can be done. I can help in person, and I can help to an extent over the net. I am listing my email address here so you don't even have to go through the hassle of getting it from my profile here. criss1008@yahoo.com
Can anyone tell that I am angry? I hope so, because this garbage has got to stop. Both the beatings and the women who think it's ok or they can't change it.

For the men: If you have ever or might ever hit a woman, karma's a b!tch. You will get what's coming to you, in this life or after. I'm making it my business to help any woman who wants it and part of that help is teaching them how to defend themselves. So the next time you think you can get away with hitting a woman, think twice, because she may have talked to me and could be capable of kicking your worthless, sorry ass.

I am furious....

[minks]

Originally Posted by BabyRider

I really can't take it anymore...This may be an angry-sounding and drawn-out rant/vent, but I gotta do it.

I have heard, in the past several weeks, about women here getting hit by their husbands, boyfriends, ex's and what have you. Some have come out with it, some have not. I have a few things to say on this subject, and I hope everyone pays really close attention.

Ladies first: No matter what the guy hitting you has told you, it is not ok. No matter what kind of brain-washing bullshit he has filled your mind with, it's not true. Every abuser I have known, (and I have known several) is a coward, a liar, spineless, worthless and garbage. I don't care if he's hit you once or you've been beat for years. They are all interchangeable.
You can save yourself, but you can't save him. No matter how bad you want to, no matter how many times he's said he's "sorry" it's NEVER GONNA HAPPEN.
I lived through exactly what you're going through for 5 years. Don't tell me your situation is different, it's not. A man professes to love you and then he hits you. Period. They are all the same, and you cannot concern yourself with him, you have to look out for YOU.
This subject is so near to my heart, here's what I'm going to do: I have helped a few women in the past years since I got away from the man beating the crap out of me; (the ones who WANTED help, anyway) and I will continue to do so. If you want help, there's things that can be done. I can help in person, and I can help to an extent over the net. I am listing my email address here so you don't even have to go through the hassle of getting it from my profile here. criss1008@yahoo.com
Can anyone tell that I am angry? I hope so, because this garbage has got to stop. Both the beatings and the women who think it's ok or they can't change it.

For the men: If you have ever or might ever hit a woman, karma's a b!tch. You will get what's coming to you, in this life or after. I'm making it my business to help any woman who wants it and part of that help is teaching them how to defend themselves. So the next time you think you can get away with hitting a woman, think twice, because she may have talked to me and could be capable of kicking your worthless, sorry ass.

I am furious....

Bless you BR I see it daily with my neighbor and I wish she would pull her head out of her butt, cause the drunkard she lives with will kill her one day. I pity her weakness

[Peg]

Well said BR. I wonder how many men here hit women and don't admit it. I've wondered that often.

[nvalleyvee]

BTS was messing around with me one day and said - hit me in the arm - don't worry - you can't hurt me. I told him I had never hit anyone in my life and wouldn't start now. He looked at me funny and said - OK I'm going to teach you how to defend yourself. It was like he knew what I had been through eventhough I had not told him I had an ex who beat me. We talked for a while about my experiences and we never play hitting games. He does, however, teach me self defense.

[lady cop]

from another thread, but belongs here as well.



Re: What should I do?
well i AM a "professional". and i have only one thing to add...he hits you again, you call the cops and sign an assault and battery charge if that is required (i don't need the person to press charges here, i can do it)...then you see the nearest judge and based on his arrest, you get a no contact and restraining injunction. then you ask the judge for an eviction order as well! cold, ruthless, and necessary. you will be holding all the cards at that point. steel yourself and do it. no sentiment here, just the facts. as i told another member here...respect yourself enough to do it, and develop some courage. bullies are only bullies until the cops show up. don't leave home in the ME's van. i see that in most of the women who share your attitude.
_________________

[minks]

Originally Posted by lady cop

from another thread, but belongs here as well.



Re: What should I do?
well i AM a "professional". and i have only one thing to add...he hits you again, you call the cops and sign an assault and battery charge if that is required (i don't need the person to press charges here, i can do it)...then you see the nearest judge and based on his arrest, you get a no contact and restraining injunction. then you ask the judge for an eviction order as well! cold, ruthless, and necessary. you will be holding all the cards at that point. steel yourself and do it. no sentiment here, just the facts. as i told another member here...respect yourself enough to do it, and develop some courage. bullies are only bullies until the cops show up. don't leave home in the ME's van. i see that in most of the women who share your attitude.
_________________

I would like to add and emphasize, being alone is better than being abused!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Peg]

Originally Posted by lady cop

from another thread, but belongs here as well.



Re: What should I do?

. as i told another member here...respect yourself enough to do it, and develop some courage. bullies are only bullies until the cops show up. don't leave home in the ME's van. i see that in most of the women who share your attitude.
_________________

And then you wake up and you are in the real world. The cops can file charges and either don't, and if they do, some soft hearted idiot judge puts them on probation. Sorry, that's the REAL world.

[lady cop]

as always Peg you challenge me, and rightfully so. but i DO make the arrests, and it's not my fault that the judge is an idiot, i can only do so much. but the advice i gave stands. thing is. people have to actively pursue their rights, and most are too chickenshit. you know very well i live in the real world.

[actionfigurestepho]

Ladycop is right. It might be hard to keep them from coming back, but at least calling the cops can get them out of your face for the evening. And if you do take the effort to get a restraining order, you know that they'll go to jail if they try it again. The cops have saved my sorry butt more than once. In the end it was up to me to deal with the situation---but it made me see that I wasn't crazy, that I wasn't overreacting and that there were people who actually cared.

[babygirl]

well i have been through this not so long ago!! it hurts like hell to see the guy you love getting arrested and it does take a while to get over but why should we put up with it?? no body should put up with getting hurt everyday, i lost my unborn child due to my ex who is now in prision and i have been beaten up by his family but i do not regret putting a stop to it.. Yes sometimes i do find myself thinking about him because i love him, but i will never go back there again

my suggestion to all women who are going through this is to get the hell out of the relationship and as Minks said it is better to be alone than to be abused!!
You might think now that you will not cope being alone but you will get over it and will become strong again you only live once don't live it in hell