friends and lovers

[libertine]

I have two old-time friends. One who has been with me since seventh grade and one who has been my friend for 30 years. They don't know each other because I don't live in the old home town anymore and one of them does. The other is near me now.
It occurred to me one day that both of my 'best friends' are very much like my spouse in temperment, personality, and demeanor.
Do you think one chooses friends and lovers, expecially one's spouse, from a like selection of the people we know? The only thing that concerns me about that proposition is that the reverse is likely true, and I may be like the spouses of my good friends. After due consideration, I'm not sure I like the comparison!!

[Lon]

Originally Posted by libertine

I have two old-time friends. One who has been with me since seventh grade and one who has been my friend for 30 years. They don't know each other because I don't live in the old home town anymore and one of them does. The other is near me now.
It occurred to me one day that both of my 'best friends' are very much like my spouse in temperment, personality, and demeanor.
Do you think one chooses friends and lovers, expecially one's spouse, from a like selection of the people we know? The only thing that concerns me about that proposition is that the reverse is likely true, and I may be like the spouses of my good friends. After due consideration, I'm not sure I like the comparison!!

I think it's certainly true that we choose and make friends with those that have similar interest to ours, but temperment demeanor and personality may be just co-incidental.

[robinseggs]

Forgive me but are you trying to say you are attracted to your friends spouses? LOL...

[libertine]

Originally Posted by robinseggs

Forgive me but are you trying to say you are attracted to your friends spouses? LOL...

Exactly the opposite!! In fact one of them I wonder why they're married, but they have been for a good long time!! Apparently what I'm saying is I couldn't stand to be married to ME.

[OpenMind]

Originally Posted by libertine

Exactly the opposite!! In fact one of them I wonder why they're married, but they have been for a good long time!! Apparently what I'm saying is I couldn't stand to be married to ME.

You might be grateful to know that it's physically and legally impossible.

[colony]

lovers should ideally be selected from friends if you want it to last long as the foundation work is already there but its like putting all your money in one wallet. if it blows both relationship and friendship are prolly over. juggle nukes = get a third arm.