I just usually avoid talking to the person, I really hate to be mean to people. I know alot of people on here are nice, but some are mean and I try to avoid them, so I do not hurt feelings. My best friend bought my car, bounced the check on me and kept the car, when I see her now, I say hello and that is it.
Sadly, Ive done it a number of times.. and it seems more so in the past few years. I know that not everyone leads stressful lives, but I do. It gets to the point where in order to keep going forward, you have to unload baggage that is causing more grief than joy. Ill describe two instances. The most important ones.
I terminated a 35 year relationship eight years ago. ( These are women)
How to keep it brief? My dear friend was a warm hearted, lovable kind of simple minded young women. Not that she was stupid or anything. Her requirements for a happy life were very simple. She wanted to be a wife, home maker and mother. Period. Her mom drummed it into her head that she had to marry someone with money. Well, she landed a big one. They married when he was just out of law school. He went on to be very very sucessful.
Aside from being sucessful he is a pompus, opinoinated, over bearing, self centered bastard. Over the years, I observed him verbally degrade, belittle, humiliate and controll my dear friend. We butted heads many times. My friend often turned to alcohol and in the moments when she was smashed, the truth would come out, and she would tell me how she really felt about him. We could never refer to these conversations when she was sober.
She was never willing to forgo material things to leave him and she had very low self esteem and even less confidence. Finally, about 8 years ago, she got very sick. We were living 600 miles apart. I immediately made plans to go to her side. Knowing that I was coming... HE made plans for the family to leave on a weekend trip. I was not told about the change in plans until I arrived in town. Guess who she went along with?????????? I dropped her cold. It about killed me at the time, but I finally conceded, and knew that she was lost to me.... and to herself. Very very sad. If this thread goes on, and your all interested... Ill tell you another one.
I terminated several friendships - growing apart wouldn't warrant a termination - some of my friends had taken a different road than I - but years later we're still friends.
I terminated a friendship - several things added up to termination. Girlfriend was the only girl in the family - her mother was in town & I had asked the mother to help me while I made my wedding dress. FANGS came out - girlfriend actually got jealous. Mother sewed - girlfriend didn't. I won't tolerate jealousy. Then at my wedding reception - girlfriend had just went out and bought a $6000.00 diamond ring (her husband didn't know of) to show off at my wedding reception and to try to top my wedding ring. Girlfriend had no idea she was on borrowed time and I never indicated I was ever irritated - because I wasn't irritated, just disappointed.
Reception was over and so was our friendship.
I won't tolerate competition - jealousy - lies - theft - I'm 50 not 15.