slap up festive feast for crooks the AA grumpy column

[pantoandy]

hello again
lord grumpy here from inside grumpy towers.
just for a change instead of trawling the national papers i thought i,d give you an insight into the local rag the worksop guardian and a column from fellow scribe and columnist AA grundi which is a pseudonumn for guardian.

Got your christmas dinner all sorted out yet ?
turkey ordered christmas pud mince pies cheese and biccies ?
why not cant face the hassle of rushing around the hassle and expense?
well heres the solution get yourself arrested and thrown in ranby jail as their festive beanfeast is ready to go their christmassy binge is full of the goodies the rest of us have to work hard for.
this is what the jail birds will get served up on christmas day.
it kicks off with a nice breakfast of kellogs cornflakes croissant boiled egg orange juice and drinkinking chocolate ( cadburys of course )
then after a morning of loafing around and texting their mates on the outside the punishment really kicks in .
with a lavish feast of soup and baguette followed by roast chicken halves or vegetarian apple and cranberry roast grills or muslim choice of salmon steak and mushroom sauce all served up with kilted sausages sage and onion stuffing roast potatoes brussels carrots and gravy with christmas pudding and brandy sauce to follow tea or coffee.
and after the usual agreeable afternoon of playing cards and drug dealing the crooks reassemble for an evening buffet of sliced turkey selection of cheeses pork pie seafood or halal sausage rolls pickled onions tossed salad and baguette mince pies and christmas cake with vegetarian options available.
but thats how things are these days ordinary law abiding folk working all the hours god sends for peanuts with no help from anyone and buy it themselves sometimes going in to debt untill april to pay for it all.
yet these wasters who spend their days boozing thieving and drug dealing
are treated like lords FREE OF CHARGE...
what a crazy mixed up world eh?
the reality is break the law and you will get everything on a plate litrally Merry christmas.

AAG
what more can i say to this apart from i heartily concur about the mixed up world and i have no doubt there will be entertainment for the lags as well with someone giving up part of their xmas day for this scum.

[oscar]

Don't you know the deal by now Andy??

It's against the law not to give those lovable old murders, rapists, child molesters, theive's and bent Tory Politicians a good slap up meal at crimbo as it's against their human rights to deprave them??
To deprive them is un-humanitarian and down-right cruel. MR oscar and myself infact felt so bad for all the little scroats in the youth detention facility in our village that we have filled some stockings for the little darlings. If not, these poor offenders will think the world has no feeling for them and they are most likely to rape your child upon release if they don't get those mince pie's.
I believe that else-where in our village, a fund is being set up to buy x boxes for the little scroats who won't be getting any pressie's from mummy and daddy this year.
have you no heart Andy??
Really, with people like you setting an example, no womder the world is becoming so cruel.