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Thread: Beer better

  1. #1
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    Beer better

    Why Beer Is Better Than Obama

    "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." --Benjamin Franklin


    Beer is better than Obama because soldiers like beer.

    Beer is better than Obama because sailors like beer.

    Beer is better than Obama because marines like beer.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't come from Madrassas.

    Beer is better than Obama because you know what's in beer.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer won't take half your paycheck.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer makes life a little better.

    Beer is better than Obama because you're sad if there's no more beer.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't lie.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't have entitlement demands.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer and whine don't mix.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer has a pretty good head on it.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer and bowling go together.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer and arugula don't.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't leave a bad taste in your mouth.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn’t mind if you cling to your beer.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn’t trash talk you behind your back.

    Beer is better than Obama because cold beer disproves the myth of man made global warming.

    Beer is better than Obama because imported beer doesn’t pretend to be domestic.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer likes it when I set my thermostat COLD.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer is GREEN only on St. Patrick’s Day.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer didn’t smoke pot and snort coke.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer is better than Vichy Water.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer is unpretentious.

    Beer is better than Obama because people in small towns cling to God, guns and beer.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't promise you a free lunch.

    Beer is better than Obama because there ain't no Pabst Bilal* Ribbon. Not yet anyway.
    *"Bilal - Satisfies thirst; name of the Prophets Muezzin (one who calls for prayer)"

    Beer is better than Obama because beer won’t throw you under the bus.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't cut and run.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer isn't phony.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't flip-flop.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer’s ingredients known for sure.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer makes people happy.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer is as American as apple pie.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer isn't promoted on National Public Radio.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't mind if you own an SUV.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't care how much you make.

    Beer is better than Obama because a beer won't blame America for 9/11.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't whine, it bubbles.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer isn't a lawyer.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer comes with an expiration date.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer and NASCAR go together.

    Beer is better than Obama because you're not afraid to turn your back on a beer.

    Beer is better than Obama because beers don't have friends who bombed the pentagon.

    Beer is better than Obama because an empty beer is better than an empty suit.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer minds its own business.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't tell you what you want to hear.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer is worth what you pay for it.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't lecture you about "global warming."

    Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't care what color you are.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't want to take away your gun.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer is popular with working people.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer isn't crazy.

    Beer is better than Obama because beers don't start out as empties.

    Beer is better than Obama because beers don't rig elections.

    Beer is better than Obama because beers don't raise taxes.

    Beer is better than Obama because beer and coke don't mix.

  2. #2
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    Re: Beer better

    Yet More reasons a beer is better than a woman
    DOHC@TUCCVM.BITNET (Bob Roberds)
    Triangle Universities Computation Center

    (rec_humor_cull, sexist, rot13)

    Here's about a hundred million MORE reasons why a beer is better than a woman:


    A beer won't make you go to church.
    A beer is more likely to know how to spell "carburetor" than a woman.
    A beer doesn't think baseball is stupid simply because the guys spit.
    A beer doesn't think DOS is pronounced "dose."
    A beer doesn't give a [expletive deleted] if you keep a bunch of other beers around.
    There is NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO reason number six.
    A beer will not insist that those odious Michelin commercials with the babies are "cute."
    If a beer leaks all over the room, it smells kinda good for a while.
    A beer will not call you a sexist pig if you say "doberman" instead of "doberperson."
    A beer won't get a job as a DJ and play 5 straight hours of lesbian folk music on yer fave radio station.
    A beer won't claim that the Three Stooges are shitheads.
    A beer won't raise a fuss about a little thing like leaving the toilet seat up.
    If you mention a "three-hundred-fifty cubic-inch V8" around a beer, it won't think you're talking about an enormous can of vegetable juice.
    A beer won't whine that seatbelts hurt.
    A beer won't smoke in your car.
    A beer won't argue that there's no difference between shooting down an unidentified aircraft in a war zone and blowing a Korean airliner out of the sky.
    A beer will never buy a car with automatic transmission.
    A beer will actually support belching and farting and share yer enthusiasm for getting them included as demonstration sports in the 1992 Olympic Games in Barcelona.
    A beer is always ready to leave on time.
    A beer never fishes for compliments.
    Some beers (e.g. St. Pauli Girl) have fabulous tits.
    Beer tastes good.
    If you take a beer outta the fridge just to look at it but then decide to drink it, the beer won't accuse you of "date rape."
    A beer won't raise any objections to an evening of watching "John Holmes' Greatest Hits" on yer VCR.
    An ice-cold beer will nonetheless let you have your way with it.
    A beer won't think the Circle Jerks are gross just because they're called the Circle Jerks. (They are gross, but that's not why).
    A beer won't make you pick up some tampons when you go to the grocery store.
    A beer won't accuse you of lying when you say you read Playboy "just for the articles." (You are lying, but the beer won't accuse you of it).
    A beer won't worry that you'll go to jail if you videotape a Giants game without the expressed, written consent of the National Football League.
    A beer won't fill up your car with cheesy 85-octane gas with the excuse "but I saved a quarter!"
    A beer will never make you go to a Swedish movie.
    A beer will never make you turn off "Fists of Fury Theater" on channel 5 on Saturday afternoons.
    A beer won't accuse you of being a sexist pig if you say "Gene Hackman" instead of "Gene Hackperson."
    A beer won't make you eat some experimental vegetarian meal that tastes like STP Oil Treatment.

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    Re: Beer better

    A beer doesn't warm your bed for you.

    A beer isn't soft and warm to cuddle up with on a cold night.

    A beer doesn't call you "Darling" or kiss your neck or blow softly on your neck through your open shirt collar.

    A beer doesn't give you great sex.

    A beer doesn't cook you a delicious meal or clean up afterwards.

    A beer doesn't do your laundry, fold your clothes or pack them away.

    A beer doesn't tidy up after you. It doesn't pick up the stuff you leave lying around.

    A beer doesn't clean your house or hoover (vacuum) your floors.

    A beer doesn't bear you children who come running to hug you round your knees and call you "Daddy" and show you the picture they just 'drawed' of you.

    A beer doesn't give you a warm loving family life.

    A beer doesn't massage your weary shoulders.

    A beer doesn't pick up your drycleaning.

    A beer can't discuss your bad day at work with you.

    A beer can't mow your lawn when you forget to.

    A beer can't pay your bills to stop your utilities from being cut off.

    A beer can make you into a smelly, sodden and lonely couch potato.

    'Beer' that in mind. Now which would you choose?

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    Re: Beer better

    Neither does my gal pal.

  5. #5
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    Re: Beer better

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    Quote Originally Posted by hoppy View Post
    Neither does my gal pal.
    a beer wont attack me if i agreed with your statement

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