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Thread: Looking after yourself

  1. #1
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    Looking after yourself

    Im not sure if this translate to males .
    Ive found that since being on my own i dont know how to plan or look after myself.
    I dont mean showering etc. I mean financial planning and just general spending.
    I have no problem giving others(family) sound advice ...... but what stops me from planning for myself? Is this part of the empty nest syndrome? Or are we more switched on and protective of our offspring rather than ourselves?

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    Re: Looking after yourself

    Most mothers are all about looking out for the kidlings.
    It is almost scary, sometimes.
    It may not be so much that I've conceded your point as that you just can't hear me rolling my eyes.

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    Re: Looking after yourself

    It's a way of not moving on. If you don't start doing these things then being on your own hasn't really happened and nothing has really changed.

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    Re: Looking after yourself

    I'm aware of several examples of that. I think there are a few ways you can be at that point and that LarsMac is right about maternal instinct being one of them. I think it certainly boosts it, anyway.

    But not only women get this and in some cases it can be slightly lower self esteem or perhaps just less ego playing a part, with it being easier to do things for other people than for yourself. I'm not sure the latter is entirely healthy but there are worse side effects of issues.

    Being highly empathic can also play a part, I suspect.
    The crowd: "Yes! We are all individuals!"
    Lone voice: "I'm not."

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    Re: Looking after yourself

    We should all remember the wise principle:
    Take care of yourself. No one else will.......

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    Re: Looking after yourself

    Quote Originally Posted by magentaflame View Post
    Im not sure if this translate to males .
    Ive found that since being on my own i dont know how to plan or look after myself.
    I dont mean showering etc. I mean financial planning and just general spending.
    I have no problem giving others(family) sound advice ...... but what stops me from planning for myself? Is this part of the empty nest syndrome? Or are we more switched on and protective of our offspring rather than ourselves?
    I noticed the same thing about myself when I was a bachelor for many years. There just didn't seem to be an urgency to change my situation or make long term plans. It took a crisis to shake me out of my ways and force change.

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    Re: Looking after yourself

    Does it make you happy to look after the offspring before yourself? Then there is nothing wrong with it. Do you have a good relationship with them? Do you think it will come full circle when it comes time for you to be looked after.

    I feel blessed, I am very close to my daughters and used to do just as you Mag, give to them ahead of my needs. They were always very gracious receivers. And both to this day remind me that if hubby goes before me, I will be well looked after.

    I think its just what parents do. But make sure you do not put yourself into the poor house.
    �You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�
    ― Mae West

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    Re: Looking after yourself

    God's own truth: I've just watched someone lose their home and kids by not paying enough attention to the "bigger picture" like rent.

    Devastation.
    The crowd: "Yes! We are all individuals!"
    Lone voice: "I'm not."

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    Re: Looking after yourself

    Quote Originally Posted by Clodhopper View Post
    God's own truth: I've just watched someone lose their home and kids by not paying enough attention to the "bigger picture" like rent.

    Devastation.
    Another victim of Tory Austerity.
    "We're all in it together".

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    Re: Looking after yourself

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    Quote Originally Posted by magentaflame View Post
    Im not sure if this translate to males .
    Ive found that since being on my own i dont know how to plan or look after myself.
    I dont mean showering etc. I mean financial planning and just general spending.
    I have no problem giving others(family) sound advice ...... but what stops me from planning for myself? Is this part of the empty nest syndrome? Or are we more switched on and protective of our offspring rather than ourselves?
    Empty Nest syndrome does take some getting used to. It did for me.
    Now that you're on your own, you need to put yourself first, and concentrate on taking care of yourself, and your needs first. And it may be wise to seek out a financial adviser to help you sort out your financial planning. Good luck.
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