A question I need help with...

[mominiowa]

OK - As u all know I have been gone for awhile...I came home to a MOUNTAIN of mail and this was a letter I had recieved...

Dear Dawn,
We recently were told that you had remarried. Our understanding is you were not married in the Catholic Church. If this is correct, please phone me right away to set up a meeting on getting your marriage blessed, **NOW GET THIS*** - so YOUR children and yourself can keep receiving the sacaraments....

What the HELL? Ok first of all he says I need my marriage annulled...I was NOT married in the church the 1st time so there is nothing to annul.right? well my new hubby is Lutheran and he said that his sacraments follow under our laws of the church now and HIS first marriage needs annulled also...He has not spoke to his X since she walked out the door.. the lawyers took care of EVERYTHING-- she never looked back and he has never even seen her since. He is suppose to dig up his past - get ahold of her and have all of this for the priest...then he sends it to a Tribunal...PEOPLE who DO NOT know us and they decided our fate? I am sickened by all of this...plus we have to pay 250$ for his and 250$ for mine!! Then he goes on to tell me that I have been sinning because I have been receiving sacraments - confession, communion etc....and have been living in sin since I moved in with my hubby....I am MORTIFIED at this... Well I scheduled a meeting with him at 4 today...can anyone help me with some words of wisdom here.. I plan on telling him that I feel I have not sinned, and that it is My God that will judge me at the end and not my church.. I feel I should be able to receive communion and celebrate the sacraments till the day I die with or with out his permission... My children had attended the Catholic school and actually one still does...but with finaces the way they are I just couldn't keep forking out 400$ a month - for their education....when we have a perfectly good public school here also...Anyway-- let me know some opinions on this if u get time...Thanks!! Plus I don't think my kids should have to pay for our mistakes...

[lady cop]

maybe this is why i am the only non-catholic italian i know.

[pina]

Originally Posted by lady cop

maybe this is why i am the only non-catholic italian i know.

Your not the only one LC.
I left the church years ago, (money grabbing control freaks) my religion is in me so I do things my way.

[lady cop]

Mom, are you married in your heart? tell them to go pound sand. and go to church where you are comfortable.

[minks]

Originally Posted by lady cop

Mom, are you married in your heart? tell them to go pound sand. and go to church where you are comfortable.

or marry on a mountain top and shout out your joy and be happy with that.

[valerie]

I guess I can understand your need for a meeting, but if it were me I
wouldn't even bother, and I wouldn't give the church $500. Who needs
all that stress?

If you try and say you haven't sinned I don't think you will get very far,
I imagine the priest could talk rings around you on that score.

One of the most beautiful places I ever went was a catholic church,
but the catholic faith and hierarchy leaves much to be desired, at least
for me.

You are a good person, you know you are, let it be at that. Why should
you have to jump through hoops for them at this point in your life? Not
worth it. You need to conserve energy and be happy... I am very sure
your God wants that for you!!

[SOJOURNER]

How terrible to receive such a letter. Personally, I think this should have been handled one on one with you so that you could resolve it immediately and not have to go through the hurt and anger you must be feeling.

I do believe you need to follow whatever rules and guidelines are set in your particular denomination, but since this does not in any way "feel right" to you, perhaps you need to reassess what you believe and maybe worship at another denominations altar.

The Episcopal Church will have the liturgy you are use to and is less restricting on many matters. I personally don't believe in church shopping, but when one has a major difference of opinion on what is right -- then it may be time to rethink where you may want to pray in the future.

God knows your heart, so be confident that you are held in His care, if not the church's.

I suggest you find another church. That particular priest is a money-grubbing jerk.

Best wishes in your new marriage.

[mominiowa]

Thanks everybody - I just need something witty to say as I believe that "if you believe in a GOD" then you will be saved.. I also believe that this is hell...here on earth...So Soj. you are correct on one thing-- my beliefs have changed..but I do know that I could have never made it this far with cancer and now everything else going wrong if I could not have prayed to someone....I just don't think I should have to stop receiving the sacraments if I feel giving my children a 2 parent family - and a loving home enviroment was the best thing...Now my hubby is upset because I had even asked him to do this...he is upset and dwelling on the past and his X wife...Ohhhhhhh one really does not need added stress........LOL Well I am off to go attend this meeting at 4:00 and I will update u further....

[Galbally]

As an Irish Catholic I am not surprised at this at all. Our church is involved in a child abuse scandal (which RC church isn't?) at the moment that goes back over 40 years (at least) involves quite possibly hundreds of priests, and involves a cover up at the highest levels in the national church, and what has been the Vatican's response to worried parents? "Don't bring your children to Harry Poter, it will corrupt their young minds". We are of course expected to share the church's pain at the sins of its members, in fact they are so full of pain that they may even have to ask the governemnt to bail them out on compensation money (again) for the numerous victims of abuse they know was occurring but did nothing to stop, which as far as I'm concerned is being an accessory to the fact. In other words we have to pay out for our own children being raped, abused, victimized, destroyed, and at the same time listen to the sanctimonious crap of the senior clergy. All I can say is ***** off you lying hypocrites and make sure your insurance money covers your mates' kiddly fiddling arses. Men of "God" indeed.

You tell that priest that before he makes any moral judgements on you because you havn't paid him off to get your marraige blessed that he thinks long and hard about what kind of church he is a member of, and what he's going to do about it. I dunno any more, maybe the Protestants were right in the first place to get the hell out of Catholicism. My own Church, frankly, disgusts me, and if I was religious I don't know how I would deal with it, the only thing that comforts me is that I never believed in them in the first place.