Thank you for posting this. I will find the sites Interesting reading. I particualy picked up on you saying ' becoming useless threatens self-esteem'.
My husband Is a fair few years older than myself and Is receiving Palliative Care for terminal lung conditions. The deterioration of the lungs has seen Fibrosis totally destroy one lung and there are holes In the other. With the lack of gas exchange and oxygen getting Into his system, he Is constantly exhausted. So of course, he now feels useless and his self-esteem Is not what It used to be. Although we have good support from his hospital, It's tough some days.
It's so difficult for a man or a woman who has been so active all their lives, high earners and achievers, only to find that now, they can't even do a basic household chore and I know my husband has a tremendous feeling of guilt that everything In the house and earning enough to pay the bills Is down to me. He spends most days apologising to me for not being able to help and then of course, I feel bad that he feels bad when there's no need.
I find It all so very difficult at times although I do tend to be a positive minded type of person. So thank you again and I shall read with Interest.