Dead All Over.

[retepsnikrep]

We now have more time, leisure and money. I think we have reached the stage where we can run our lives in a way to optimise this wonder machine, the body, which we have been given. In the past, it was the best most could do to go to work and eat pies and die of something specific. My plan is to live a long time, then die of everything, all at once.

When people die, of thousands of things, with thousands of causes, in the majority of cases there are lots of very good bits left. For example, if I was to die now, say of cancer, we are not frightened of the word, I would render inoperative excellent eyesight. I could be a fighter pilot, or watchmaker. Also my hands, very tactile, not a trace of repetetive strain or arthritis in them anywhere. It seems a shame that I didn't do a bit of fighter piloting, watchmaking or typing, to wear out those things as well.

BUPA could do a 'Too Fit' check. They could identify those parts which will outwear the rest with their MRI and CAT scans. Then you get cracking and start wearing them out at the same rate as the rest. If BUPA said to me, 'Inadequate Use of the Sexual Organs' (this is hypothetical) I could get working. The human body can take a lot of sex, like Rod Stewart, Casanova, and Georges Simenon, and if you don't use your equipment it won't be worn out by the time your heart is.

I actually think that when we were originally designed, we were made for everything to wear out at about the same rate. No point in doing otherwise. Neither God nor Darwin would have given us arms like Popeye and a spine like a jellyfish. Modern life, with which evolution cannot keep pace, doesn't change us enough, but we can do it ourselves. Knacker those taste buds with the hottest Madras. Dull that hearing with a disco. Squint at small print. Get some impact jogging on those kneecaps, no point in your heart stopping you from running if you've still got legs like treetrunks. If for no other reason, you'll look pretty silly in the hospital bed.

I'm sorry that this policy will be to the detriment of organ donation and transplanting. There'll be nothing worth having. Your consolation, which is no good for the waiting patient, is that you got the most out of everything you had. With this plan we ourselves will not need transplantation as everything has gone at once. Cause of Death....'Grays's Anatomy.' Our only replacement is a completely new person, which won't be a replacement, it'll be a substitute.

With a car it is the same. Cars are always scrapped with something virtually new. Battery or tyres or exhaust. You know what a shame that is. A dead virgin has a brand new whats' is name, (or whats' er name) also a shame.

We could do with a handbook. The 'Human Being Handbook. Your Volvo will go 200,000 miles, if the handbook is followed. Follow the 'Human Being Handbook.' Item: Weekly check..leg muscles getting strong and large...remedy....Lay in bed for a few days. Liver....not enough units per day etc.

It is not good to die off gradually over a long period with one or two components going faulty, but struggling on. With coordinated expiration, everything will go at once, and you'll be dead all over.

Peter

"In the past, it was the best most could do to go to work and eat pies and die of something specific."



The "Too Fit" check - what a brilliant idea, I might suggest it next time I go to the doc's. Just at the moment though I can't think of anything that would pass!