rain in my heart drunken people ill through drink

[shelbell]

Originally Posted by hoppy

I'm still haunted by my grandad's suffering. I still remember him begging my dad to load one of his pistols and just leave it on his bed.
Once, when I was stronger and cared, I quit drink for 6 months. Lost 15 pounds. It surprised me how much money I had for other things. But, I don't care much anymore. My world is gone for good. This new world is a foreign and disgusting place. Every day I pray for a sudden death so as not to burden anyone. Many of my kin just dropped dead or woke up dead. They were the lucky ones. I pray for luck.

To be blunt hoppy, most alcoholics are not "lucky" the way you describe it. They do linger in a long death and are a burden on others. My husband was my world and that world was taken from me 4 months ago. I could have said ******* it and taken the easy way out...and I almost did. I've got kids and grandkids and would never willingly place upon them the burden of a long illness or my death...not when I know I don't need to leave them by choice, just when it's my time to go. Please just think about what I've said...and you can cuss me out all you want, but it's worth it to me.

[shelbell]

I watched some, but like you, have lived a lot of it. It's a great post and I really hope it can help even one person.

[farmer giles]

Originally Posted by shelbell

I watched some, but like you, have lived a lot of it. It's a great post and I really hope it can help even one person.

thank you shellhead

talking about my failures is never easy but as you say if just one person can see what drink can do to some people and can see people like you and i plus others on fg that dont want to talk about it can beat the demon drink they might think they can too
well done to you for stopping drinking and well done for not returning to drink in the hard times you have faced lately

[glalinho]

Thanks for your posting. This forum is very interesting.