Fixing Me...The Fifty+ Years Project

[grh]

Financial Responsibility -or - How to lose friends in under 3 months..

I had decided for my 50th year to seek out professional financial advice so that the downward spiral I could see myself setting comfortably into could be reversed.

Fascinating guy. A thinking persons thinker, one might say. Not just a CPA but family counselor. He had this theory that while I didn't seem to be trying to buy folks love with gifts or money, I did feel that if I loved or cared about them and had any funds that could help them out, I was being selfish not to. That I am an extremely 'light' touch. Folks have never needed to ask me directly for anything, if I know they need it. I don't put them in the embarrassing position of asking for a loan or direct help, I simply throw it at them, volunteer it. I have spent more on other folks families in the last couple of years then I had on my own child. We could have had several vacations just on what I have used to bail others out of tight corners.

And what kind of 'friends' are they, that they let me do this? Pretty damned lousy friends, he contended. Just friends who happen to be in need, I contend.... and so we had a little test...

For the past 6 months, I have been officially broke... to anyone who knows me. I was allowed to offer up advice, concern, hope...anything - so long as it did not involve me opening up my checkbook. I could wish I could help them out(if only I had the means) but I was NOT to help them out.

It probably took close to 2 months for me to really sort folks into two types - those who like me and those who really liked what I had been doing for them. One set barely contacted me, unless of course they were desperate enough to try and 'tap' me one more time. The other set of folks are those that became determined to help me out, just be there for me to vent to -if that was all they had to offer, try to force-feed me money if they had it to loan.

What did surprise me was that some of the folks that were sucking me dry, that I thought I was so close to that they would confide in me... let me help them....they just vanished. Poof.

I'm not gonna let everyone in on my little test. I figure I will have to let the daughter in on it, if I expect them to vacation with me this summer. She and her hubby refused to let me get them the TV I wanted to get them for Christmas. Just flat out refused! Spend only on their kids -was the decree...

Who knew that saying 'no' could be good for everyone?

[grh]

Something funny, both strange funny and hahah funny...

I went and read my journal I was keeping for my friend last year and came across something I didn't even remember writing. There was this guy who was looking for a friend, another adult to talk to, go out and do things with, maybe a sexual partner...

That's the guy who came and shoveled my drive last week! My phantom shoveler.

I have actually been friends with the man for over a year now and didn't even realize it...

I'm thinking it may be time to step it up a notch, eh?